We have another question from a fellow member of the SBM family.

The dude I’m involved with is in a field where he is going to meet a lot of women. He often works with them. He “hangs out” with them afterwork sometimes…at the places they work or just a bar. Shouldn’t I be concerned? He says he’ll introduce me to the women and everything, but in the past (I know, baggage) i have been around my exes other women so that doesn’t phase me. Why does he want to hang out with other women and doesn’t that lead to trouble eventually, even if it starts innocent enough? Do men really have the will power to hang out with women and NOT eventually screw them? My man question is WHY DOES HE WANT TO EVEN HANG OUT WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE? (my head is saying “duh, cause they are women and he loves women and wants to be around them…who wouldn’t)

So I was able to get a little more information.  Apparently these women are of varying age (20+ to 50 ish) and run from sex and cute … to broke down and busted.  Our reader has also admitted to being the jealous type (I’m sooo shocked), but still has come to us (me and you … the readers) for advice.

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So … I will start this out simple …


Now, I can even understand the sense of jealousy.  Its natural and human (when within reason).  I can also understand the fear of him messing with one of these other females … I assume he is a good guy … but women are jealous and evil (no offense) … so them chics might be trying him.  But … that all boils down to a simple trust issue … you have to trust him.  He wants you to meet these friends and seems to be acknowledging your issues … so dude sounds like a good guy you can trust and I think you’ll be able to work through it.

Now … I have one very very big problem with your “complaint”.  You said “WHY DOES HE WANT TO EVEN HANG OUT WITH THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE?”!


I will admit that I am not huge believer of this male and female friendship thing (as guys are constantly failing the Trench Coat test), but it almost sounds like your wondering why he wants to chill with anyone besides you.  It seems like these women have been his friends for awhile and are genuinely people he likes to chill with.  Its crazy to think he is not going to want to hang out with his friends … whether they are female or not.  If he refuses to let you meet them and has random sleepovers where they play hide the pickle … that’s a completely different story … but don’t be mad because your man actually has friends he wants to hang out with … even if their female.

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So … work out the trust issues personally with yourself … and then with your man.  In terms of him hanging out with your friends … you don’t have a lock on his free time.

Now … I know my readers know better than me a lot too … so the comments will be the real source of advice.