Now … I am no angel.  I have done my share of dirt and broken a few federal laws … but overall I’m not that bad.  Haven’t shot nobody … yet.

One thing your boy SBM has dabbled in the past is that … sticky icky … aka … da green … aka … that purple … aka … that sh*t.

Now, I have given this past time up years ago, and even at my height I was never a big fan … but considering not everyone has had the will power to give up the habit … there is a good chance you will come across one at some point.

I have (at this point) decided that I will not seriously date a weed head.  I figured that there is probably one or more of you reading this site (cause your not doing sh*t and just got done with the Taco Bell run) … so I will share with you …

The Top Reasons to not Date a Weed Head

Their always hungy

Late night trips to the carry out (A DC thing), quick stops at taco bell, craving for 20 orders of wendy’s dollar chicken nuggets … its too much.  I once had a weed head friend eat until his stomach hurt … repeatedly.  It’s nto sexy … and I can see it wearing on anyone’s nerves … really quickly

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Lack of Motivation

If your someone who likes to do things … and I mean anything … uh … be prepared to stay home, eat, and watch half-baked.  No more crazy exciting dates and exploring new places … unless you found a new weed man.

Always have to add in time to get high

Going to the movies … don’t expect to catch them previews.  Jay Z concert … don’t expect to catch that hot new opening act. With a true weed head … they need to be higher than Magoo’s voice … so they need to blaze for everything.  They always give you the “Its better while high” argument … so remember to add in 45 minutes onto every major thing you do with the person.

Can never get pulled over

They always got weed on them, so running that red light no longer is a $50 ticket … but instead its a night in lock up and that good ol’ anal probe.

Constant paranoia

You thought your last girlfriend always thought you were cheating … wait until you have to deal with the chroic paranoia of a weed head.  Now you can’t make any quick moves, drive aggressively, and get too close to her anus as she is likely to stab you.

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So while I have never dated one myself … I have known enough in my time to know better.

I know I’m missing something … help me out …