I’ve talked about Friends with Benefits before … and I’ve talked about it in the comments section … and I’ve talked about it with friends … and I guess I just got some more … questions.
First and Foremost … I am now at a point in my life where I want a girlfriend. I want to genuinely form a real connection with someone … I want to be sleeping with someone who I truly like … and I want to give this whole love nonsense another try (I think). I do want to feel “somekindaway” about … somebody.
But … I digress …
I draw a very clear and strong distinction between a Friend with Benefits (FwB) and the Jump Off (JO).
I’m talking about right and wrong …night and day … good and bad type of distinction.
I’m talking about Michael Jackson back as a little kid … and the white man we know today type of difference.
I’m talking about Nenee from The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Sheree type of different.
The Jump Off
Something or someone to Munish (wear out that backside with little or no regard for their satisfaction). This person can’t ask for any favors … gas money … or a date. As far as your concerned, this person has one person in life … and one only … to satisfy you sexually (or as close to satisfaction as they can muster).
You don’t owe them anything … they owe you nothing either. You can go date and see whoever else you want … you don’t have to answer any questions they ask … and honestly … you don’t even need to make sure they are sexually satisfied. If they got issues with it … its their problem. Essentially the whole relationship is one sided … parasitic even … sure they might enjoy themselves too (making it symbiotic) … but that’s not your concern.
The Friend With Benefits
This is your friend.
A real and honest friend.
Someone you care about and might even love. You may thing of this person as a brother or a sister. You spend time with them … but not because you have to do it or feel some type of obligation … you just like chilling with the person. You guys might watch movies or go to the mall … but everyone is paying their own way (or you take turns … or whoever wants to pay does) and there is no pressure on anyone to put up money.
When stuff is going bad with them … you got their back. They are just your buddy … but they don’t complain if you don’t call, they don’t complain about you dating someone and their honest with you … no reason to lie.
Kind of like Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine.
And just like Jerry and Elaine (for a stretch of time) there is one key component … their having sex too (the only thing in common with the Jump Off).
So … SBM Family … readers of me and others … smart and intellectual individuals … here is my question
Is my definition of the FwB Real … and is do you agree with this distinction? Or … is the FwB and the JO one in the same?
Of course … I say … yes … yes … and Hell no (like a girl who is getting the bid-ness … but he ultimately wins that race).
I mean really … the word friend means a lot to me. I think highly of my friends and they have usually been ride or die for awhile. Sure … my friends with benefits are rarely friends of the same caliber … but they have always been people I cared about on some level. If they were going through trouble … I’d support them … if they need to talk … we can talk. If I’m cooking … they can come eat. A good time is had by all … in the bed and outside.
It’s truly a symbiotic relationship … because its a friendship … and by definition everyone should benefit in a friendship. I hear many people talking about FwBs like they are lowly jump offs … but I say no!
So … good people … Feel me?
– Single Black “Why am I stealing Slim’s Signature Styling” Male