end-a-relationshipThe most random of ish happens to Mr. FAQs on a hourly basis and I continuously find myself in situations that friends have described as “only you” occurrences since I was a youngin.

The other day I was exiting the restroom of an  establishment while texting on my Blackberry, momentarily oblivious to my surroundings.

Random Dude: “Say, my phone died on me, can I use your phone to make a quick call.”
Mr.FAQs: (f**k, I hate when people touch my ish, especially mofo’s I don’t know, I don’t know where this n***gaz been. If I would have been paying attention could have been past this foo) “Oh yea man, no problem I know how that goes.”

dead_phoneDead phone has happened to everybody, why not help this brother out. I passed my phone as I positioned myself so as to block this cat from running off with my Berry.

So dude makes a couple calls back-to-back, guess he’s having trouble reaching them. Then he begins to leave a message. That’s  when I think “WTF only you!”

Random Dude: “Yo look here! I know I said I was gonna call you back and I’m a hour late and s**t but I don’t appreciate you not picking up your damn phone! Got me calling you 10, 12 times from different numbers and s**t, I don’t appreciate that at all…”

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I stopped listening, my thoughts suddenly preoccupied by, “10,12 times from different numbers and s**t.” What was wrong with this dude? Had it gotten that bad? He ended the call and passed back my phone as I tried to look at the wall and act like he wasn’t a foot away and I had witnessed it all.

I shared the events with a couple of the homies on some we got some laughs but deep down, the events bothered me, just didn’t sit well. Would I ever become this crazy person in public? In front of a stranger at that? That’s when I began to think, WWPCD? – What Would Pimp C Do?

I go to Pimp C, Bun B and UGK often for advice. The song that came to mind for this particular circumstance was “I’m6a00d4141cb4f8685e00e398a146be0005-500pi So Bad,” which tells the trials of a young man (Sweet James Jones)  dealing with relationship issues that aren’t necessarily going so smoothly: one chick has an attitude, another only concerned with his money. So how does Pimp C deal? He tells them (repeatedly) in the the chorus, “I’m so bad, I can suck my own dick.” (I guess for the ladies, you can be so bad you can lick your own clit).

“I’m So Bad” was the male version of Beyonce’s “To The Left” before Ne-Yo wrote Beyonce’s “To The Left,” and its sage advice. Never in life should we allow an individual (no matter the capacity or intimacy level of the relationship) effect our mental well being.

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“Get your ratchet ass out my f***kin do,” he tells the first. “You can start walkin,” he tells the other. Granted it could in deed be true love, most everyone is in fact replaceable after a proper period of mourning. Before we start to say or do things that may hurt ourselves or others, we should be the adults that we are and not trip. Tripping gets you no where and you will probably end up regretting it. Just ask Chris Brown.

Sometimes I tend to take the “I’m So Bad” theory to heart so much so that a couple non-responses and you just might find yourself deleted, with no remorse from Mr. FAQs.

So the next time somebody is trying to drive you to trip just think WWPCD? and remember, “I don’t need you anyway trick, huh, cause I’m so bad I can suck my own m*********n dick.”

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueQKuIptDAU]