Of course, some people, like myself, are born with raw (safe) talent, but it takes some practice to bring that skill out and really hone your skills to be able to beat the brakes off these young ladies.  I’ve always said, “Women don’t know how hard men work at sex. Sex is one of the only acts that a man has to do in which he focuses on not doing something.”  And that thing is cumming.

Please believe me, no matter how much you think your business is business.  Premature ejaculation will be posted on, dontsexhim.com before you get to the shower.  There’s actually an application for it on the iPhone.  Most men reading are thinking to themselves but won’t ask aloud, “Well, how long is long enough?”  I’ve done significant research for the fellas, short answer; 7 minutes for regular daily relationship sex, but if you are having sex to have sex with the person, the entire setting (kissing, foreplay and sex) should be roughly 45-60 minutes (A good episode of Law & Order).  And don’t believe these women talking about they can have sex for 60-90 minutes, they can’t do it. Somebody is going to end up in the hospital with latex burn and a UTI.  However… sometimes you can have a night when you have sex multiple times.

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Every man has his own personal strategy, Diddy uses Viagra.  (To each his own, be prepared not premature.  Besides, they don’t let you buy *stud* over the counter anymore).  I personally have a few prized techniques.  Yes, Dr. J is not going to lie, baby your flower is oh so beautiful that the second I heard about it, I knew I had to come, but I keep my composure using the following strategies:

  1. My freshman year of college it was my goal to at least get through 4 songs on TP-2.com.  For a young cat this was profound.  If I could get through 4 songs, I figured that was at least 15-20 minutes and for an 17 year old, I’m doing better than most.  The way to really make this work is to really think about the song like, try and make it to the bridge of each song.  Now.. maintain “focus” like keep looking at her, keep interacting with her, don’t be looking at the wall, or your clock, or the TV, because that’ll really piss them off.
  2. Sometimes turning the music on is just too obvious that something is going down, so if you want to have some quick sex in a quiet setting, try oscillating the alphabet.  This is quite possibly my super special Super Saiyan move that takes practice and determination.  (For those of you who need CCD: Oscillating the alphabet is alternating the alphabet as such; A, Z, B, Y, C, X, D, W, E, V, …)  Whatever you do, don’t ever say it outloud, say it to yourself and maintain focus.
  3. Do not get too routine and switch positions often.  If you let something get too routine you will relax too much and then loose sight of your goals and explode like a grenade, or a snap’n’pop for some of you losers.

Dr. J isn’t giving up all the secrets, but let me talk about some extreme cases where you might have to be extreme:

  1. Use your mouth and fingers.  Pull out and eat her out.  Get over that, “I hate the way latex tastes.”  You’ll put it on your most important body part, but hate the taste of it.  Good job McFly.
  2. This is extreme… every woman has a position she likes that is extremely painful for men, but they don’t want to seem like a b*tch so they just let them do it.  It usually involves them bouncing around all crazy and breaking your pelvis.  DO THIS.  Use that to your advantage because now you are not feeling too great and you can gather your composure and go at it strong.
  3. Do not be afraid to pull out and go in the corner of the room and give yourself a pep talk.  She will laugh at you, but she will be interested to see what you got planned after the break.  Have you ever seen the Superhead video, did you see Mr. Marcus back up and turn around.  Do it son.

Ladies, did you know that men have all of this going on in their head just to give you the business?  Fellas, any strategies I left off the list?  Per usual on Thursday, stay thirsty my friends.

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Keep it 100,

Dr. J