Slang is an every changing thing.  Words often have a shelf life shorter than milk … and what’s hot (is hot still cool … or is it hizzle … naw … that’s played already) changes every 3 months.

Well, here at, we strive to be in front of the curve rather than ride in on it.  We are not just cool (that’s still cool to say … right?) … we define cool … we ooze cool … we’re so cool that we are beyond swagger … we’re jylacious (give it another year).  As part of this tradition of defining what’s hot and keeping ya’ll informed … I present …

SBM’s Sex Slang for that 2k9

Juice Box

I’m stealing this one from a Gorilla Zoe song, and also was the inspiration for this post.  Basically, he claims that women need another word for the va-jay-jay, the p*ssy, the punany, the ill nana, the … u get the point.  So now we have … Juice Box.

A woman’s special “fun fun” area.

“Let me get your juice box wet for ya.”
“Girl stop faking … let me drink from your juice box.”

Writing on the Chalk Board

All the way from my days in high school … this one is a personal calssic.  It’s time to make it mainstream and bring it to the world.  Expect to hear it in that next Lil Wayne song though … cause this one is hot.

See Also:  Why Men "Fear" Courting A Woman

When a man ejaculates on a woman’s face. Get it … white on black (or green) in some cases.  Also know as a cumshot.

“Dawg … Rolanda’s a freak … she let me write all over her chalk board and aint even blink”
“Man … I can’t kiss my girl no more. I wrote on her chalk board and can’t even kiss that chic no more.”

Scoundrel, Scallywag, Scuttlebutt

I’ve thrown these out before … so some of you won’t be shocked.  Their a combination of terms from many friends from over the years.  They are generally interchangable, but each with their little caveats that only practice can perfect.  We already got the track for Scip Scop Scallywag laid out … its dropping next month.

A hoe … a chicken head … a roller.

“Man … this club is filled with scoundrels ready for the picking.”
“I told you not to mess with that scuttlebutt … chick just looks like she done ran a couple trains.”

Roll that newspaper

A true SBM original.  Riding around in the car, thinking the dirty and perverse thoughts that keep me entertained 60% of my waking hours, and then … it hit me.  So when your trying to talk up a girl, and you really want to unleash that faucet … let her know can’t no one roll her newspaper like you do.

See Also:  I Used to Love P*****

Eating a$$ … aka a rimjob … aka licking chocolate … aka … you get the picture.

“Girl … you ain’t never had your newspaper rolled by a n***a like me before.”
“I mean … I’m not gay or nothing … but … this girl rolled my newspaper something serious last night.

Stealing His Kids

A variant on some old terms … but time to change things up a little.

Swallowing his … uh … man juice

“Yeah son … she’s a kid stealer … doesn’t even flinch.”
“Uh uh … you want me to do what … steal your own kids you nasty motherf*cker.”

My list needs some work though, I’m only one man.  What terms are you trying to take to the big leagues?  What have you and your friends been using?  Who has the next “p*ssy”, “dirty sanchez”, or the great “va-jay-jay”?