Good day fine people! If you look over to your left you will see that the fine writers here at SBM take your opinion very seriously and aim to please you, so this topic is from one of our excellent readers out there in the blogosphere.   Additionally, I do tons of recreational drugs and don’t have an original thought in my head, so it helps every one out.

“How far should you go to maintain your appearance in a relationship?”

Good question.  Just like most things in life, I think this on a case by case basis.  Generally speaking, I think most people in a relationship would like to have their mate look pretty much the same as the day they met them.   But in a society that moves so fast on a daily basis and is so dependent on processed damn near deadly food, this is almost improbable.  Couple this with work, kids and all the stuff that consumes time and most people don’t have time to think about eating healthy and getting their hair did.  Single people tend to care more about their appearance, but then once they get locked up, they assume their partner loves them for who they are on the inside (only on afterschool specials folks).  People get boo’d up and the haircuts are less frequent, nail appointments aren’t as urgent, and the thought of eating salads becomes totally absurd.

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I think the emphasis placed on your physical appearance in a relationship should be as important to you as it is to your partner.  If you find yourself sitting on the couch pounding a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a Heineken every time wifey gets home from the gym, she’s definitely giving you the side eye and giving her personal trainer the bedroom eyes.  It’s like Chris Rock said, if you do crack and she goes to church, it’s probably not gonna work out.  Conversely, if your SO is coming home from work with his and her pints of ice cream and six pack of lager, then you can look forward to more romantic nights of listening to each other getting fat for years to come.  I actually have a friend that is notorious for ending relationships because his love interest has lost weight.  Our convos usually go like this:

RCLS: Dawg, what’s good with you and shorty?
: That’s a wrap, kid.
: Que pasa? She a spitter?
: She lost about 10 pounds since we hooked up and just signed up for a Bally’s membership.  Such a turnoff.
: Yea kid, you know me…I like ’em short, black, damn near fat…
: (Smh)  You’re nuts.  Stop chiefin….

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Different strokes for different folks.  If you’re pleasantly plump and enjoy being that way, I don’t recommend dating a narcissist.  Unless they’re a  narcissist with a gigantor ego,  then they’ll be more concerned about looking better than you and won’t mind if you don’t look as hot as them.  (Yes, gigantor is a word, so feel free to break it out during your next Scrabble match.)

From my novice observations, I think men have a tendency to be a little more particular about their SO’s appearance than vice versa.  Not saying that women are innocent in all this, but fellas have no problem moving on if certain things aren’t in order.  Which, one on hand, I can understand cuz if you buy a house and the siding starts falling off as soon as you close, you might want your money back.  But, I am one of the brothers that emphasizes with a woman’s plight: they have to make sure the nails are did (To hell w/ Katt Williams, plum and red don’t match.), make sure their hair is flawless, get the makeup right, shave unsightly places, smell like fresh roses 24 hours a day as well as deal with their friend popping up every month.   And of course, we can place the blame on the media’s hold on our brains, but generally speaking women are a little more lenient on appearance issues, unless the D shrinks…that’s pretty much the deal breaker.

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I guess in the long run, no one wants to feel jipped.  The biggest thing is probably consistency.  If you gettin’ lined up twice a week when you were single, don’t think wifey won’t trip if you let that slip.  I don’t think when she first laid eyes on you she thought “Damn…he’s fine, but I wonder what he looks like scruffy…”.  It’s a fine line…don’t kill yourself over your SO’s opinion, but also…please, don’t let yourself go under the premise that you are locked down and your mate should be happy.   Depreciation affects us all.

Talk to me people…ever been dumped cuz son found out you got that Indian hair from Sharonda’s Temple of Hair and not from your mama?  Any fellas ever found themselves kicked to the curb cuz they started stretching out their wifebeaters?   Put your snacks down and holla!

Getting finer with each passing day,

RightCoastLexSteele, Cocksman Pro Tempore