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Whether it was by circumstance or by choice, we’ve always had independent women amongst us.  Change is inevitable, and the role of the independent women has changed from single women raising kids on their own due to whatever circumstance to single women doing it on their own because they don’t want a man, don’t need a man.  Or maybe I should say the cliche of the independent woman has changed.  After all, I can’t claim to know the history of the independent women, not being a independent woman historian, nor father time.  I’m sure there were some women back in the day that chopped their own wood, did their own hunting and clubbed dudes over the head and dragged them home. (Kinda like they do now.)  And there are plenty of women presently raising their child or children on their own because the father has either passed away, been locked up or simply just doesn’t care.  That being said, the question at hand is whether or not the present day Independent Woman intimidates men.  Well….yes and no.

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At work, the independent woman scares the sh*t out of men.  Most men won’t admit it, but they do.  Not so much because they make men shake in their boots, but because men don’t exactly know how to match the intensity of an assertive, independent woman.  Ironically enough men find themselves in this situation because their egos tell them that if they match her intensity, she’ll run away sobbing uncontrollably.  Which is usually not the case, but this is the information passed to our brains from our egos.  Especially when dealing with a female boss men always have a hard time dealing with the fact that a woman is in charge or holds some weight.  Can’t really explain it, it’s a guy thing.  They probably won’t admit if you ask them so don’t bother asking your close guy friend if this is true, ’cause he’ll probably BS you.  But it’s usually difficult staying focused at work while trying to keep your ego in check, especially when the person checking your ego smells like jasmine vanilla body wash.

On the dating scene however, independent woman are not so intimidating, for the simple fact that unlike the work scene, we can avoid independent women altogether.  Of course, there are men out there that are attracted to independent women, but for the ones that aren’t, they can simply choose to ignore them.   They are practically invisible.  It’s not like men aren’t attracted to successful women who have their own this, that and other, but when you add the “better off on my own” attitude to the mix, it’s just easier not to deal with the drama.  If you’re so much better off on your own, then go ahead, knock yourself out.  Half the time, these women are feeding into the idea of being independent but still dabble back and forth between feeling they need a man, then deciding they don’t.  You know what “they” say, women don’t know what they want. (The “they” usually being men.)   The one thing that hasn’t changed is that it’s still a man’s world.  And whether women like it or not, men have the option of totally avoiding independent women altogether and finding someone more suited to their taste. So while avoidance is not exactly dealing with issue of the intimidation that exists, it works because we can do it.  Most people avoid things that aren’t pleasant.  And sometimes, dating an “independent woman” is not pleasant, so we avoid it.  Simple.  And men have to be some of God’s simplest creatures.

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Just being single doesn’t qualify you to be an independent woman.  Cuz let’s face it, some women still rely on their family to help them out.  And that’s what family is for.  But aside from answering the question of whether or not independent women are intimidating to men, I want to know how you define an independent woman.  After all, they all aren’t Beyonce….

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