****** Admin Note ******
I want to thank everyone for voting us into the finals of the Black Weblog Awards.  We are happy to announce our finalist status for not only “Best Sex & Relationships Blog” but also “Blog of the Year”.

Now … I’m here to beg again and ask you to help us win it all.  I swear … coming to your house and dapping you in person if we win it.

Vote here!



In continuing to address the Skribit topic suggestions, I figured I’d address what seems to be the most voted topic and a valid question that I’ve gotten from lady friends. Most of us go through a courting stage before we start a relationship. It’s during this period that we learn a lot about the other person including their interests, hobbies, typical behaviors, political views, and all that other good stuff that we’ve covered on this here blog. We also typically try to be ourselves on these initial dates and the instant messenger/text messaging exchanges, but more often than not end up putting on our best behavior to ensure that if we end up likin’ the person enough to consider a relationship that they ultimately like us too. **Memory arises of 4th grade “circle yes or no” notes**

See Also:  The Key to Staying in Love

The things that men and women think about during the first few dates are completely different. It doesn’t take Captain Obvious to figure that one out. We wanna know, in no particular order, what type of background shorty comes from, who her peoples are, what’s the probability of her bein’ crazy, how long it’s gonna take to beat, how many have beat, how the beats will be, and a variety of other fun facts. Women, from what I hear…f*ck it, from what I know, wanna know how he thinks, how many chicks he may be dealin’ with, if he goes to church, if he lives at home, if he has money a car, if he has a sense of humor, if his stroke/face game is mean, and so on (Note: Not every woman thinks about every one of these things). And if the guy seems great, they wanna know at what point is the real bedroom brawler man legit and not just puttin’ on a show so that he can put it on/in her?

Honestly,  there is no cookie cutter answer. There is no magical number of dates that a couple can go on before they can determine if the other person is bein’ real or bein’ phony. It can take months or even years for some people to get over the “This seems too good to be true” thought process. And quite honestly, more times than not when a person feels that way, they’re right. There are, however, a few simple behaviors to watch for that can shed some light on if he, in this particular case, is fakin’ the funk…

See Also:  Why Some Men Fear A "Church" Woman

Difficult to reach on the phone

It’s 2009. I don’t care how busy people are. If they are truly interested and bout the serious stuff, they will be fairly accessible via phone at some time of day. If you can only see the person face to face (which seems ideal) and get a hold of them via text, email, or otherwise, they’re probably not the truth regardless of if it’s 100 dates or 3. Also, unless the person works night shift or has to be to work at 5am  or is serving porridge at the shelter, not being able to talk after 9pm is a bad sign for multiple reasons. Watch it…

Diminishing Marginal Efforts

This may be the one area that becomes more obvious with each date or hang out session that doesn’t involve havin’ sess (Yes. I said sess). If you find the person runnin’ out of things to talk about after a few dates or suddenly droppin’ off the radar and then sporadically returning to action, they are probably not the truth. I don’t care how cute you think the person is or what they do for work. Makin’ excuses for why they might be falling off the map is also unacceptable and detrimental. But hey, it’s your life.

See Also:  Five Signs You Need Relationship & Love Rehab

He gets pissed when you ask his intentions or if anybody else is in the mix

“What kinda question is that?!” #FAIL.

He lives in ATL or DC and has a weekly or monthly poker game with the fellas at an obscure location.

#Pause and #No homo…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Maybe I’m off base with this one, let me know? Additionally, ladies and gents, what clues or tools do you use to determine if that potentially special somebody is the truth or a con-artist over a series of dates/chill sessions?

Promoting tolerance but not stupidity,

slim jackson