****** Admin Note ******
I want to take the time to announce to everyone we won a black weblog awards.  I am proud to announce, SingleBlackMale.net is your:

2009 Black Sex & Relationship Blog of the Year

And not only did we just win, we swept the category with the Popular and Judge’s vote.

And shout out to Slim Jackson, RCLS, and the whole Three Ways to Take It Crew for winning the Best New Blog award.  Ya’ll are doing big things.


Beauty Booty: Did you know Lamont borrowed money from Tameka?
Slim Pumphauser: Yeah. I’m aware. She offered it to him cuz funds been tight for him lately. Good girl he got.
Beauty Booty: I don’t know how I feel about that. He shouldn’t have taken the money.
Slim Pumpdeeper: Why not? She makes $100K per year. What’s a few hundred bucks to her for her boo?
Beauty Booty: He shouldn’t have accepted. He should have gotten it from elsewhere.
Slim Pumpstronger: Oh, so he should have stressed himself out more in the short term by tryin’ to find money rather than being man enough to accept what was offered?
Beauty Booty: Yeah. Unless they married or engaged, he shouldn’t be borrowing money from her. Does he not have any pride?
Slim Pumplonger: Pride gets people killed Sugar Cakes. Now get yo fine @ss self over here.
**Boom chicka wah wah**

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This is one of those things that boggles my mind. It’s a societal norm of sorts that the man is supposed to be the breadwinner. I get that. However, in today’s world that is quickly changing. I know a lot more couples where the wife is the one that’s gettin’ bank. I’m not gonna focus on that though. I wanna talk about the more traditional side of things. It’s tough for some of us to  hold our own sometimes because sh*t happens. People get laid off or fired from their jobs. They become the victim of fraud or have their identities stolen. The list goes on and on.

See, I’m a believer that if you’re in a relationship with someone and not just effin’ that you should be able to count on each other durin’ tough times. I know a lot of people that would agree with me…until money is officially in the picture. I’ve been tryin’ to figure out if this is primarily a Black thing or if it’s the case for all groups of people in these here United States. The discussion that I had with Beauty Booty before gettin’ some is one that I’ve had with several others as well. And for whatever reason, I always end up finishin’ the conversation with a line about pride bein’ a beast. I do personally think that this is more of an issue with Black folk even though I don’t have official stats to prove it. My dad once told me “One of the biggest problems with Black folks is that we’re often reluctant to ask for what we need.” That didn’t mean too much at the time. But nowadays as I see people lettin’ their pride body them, it’s a lot evident how right Pops really was.

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Some of us, both men and women, would rather work 2 jobs and be stressed out for months than take money that’s offered to us by a significant other. Granted, I don’t think that every time someone is offered something that they should take it. There are times where it really is better to look for an alternative. For example, if a dude is offered 2K from his boo and he knows he won’t be able to pay it back for years and that he’s slidin’ off on her regularly, he probably shouldn’t take the money unless he wants to go to court. Another example, if a man is datin’ a woman that always likes to hold things over him in later arguments, he probably shouldn’t take the money unless he’s ready to get beat over the head with it 5 years from now.

If my boo was bankin’ and she offered me money to help me in the short term, I’d take it. That’s just me though. I don’t like stress. But how about everyone else? What are your thoughts on borrowing money from significant others? Is this cultural? Any happy ending (not like that) stories or nightmares? Do you have any particular rules about this? Let’s discuss.

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Baby I Gotcha Money,

slim jackson