*flashback to college*

Minnie: “That’s so rude and mean!”
SBM: “What! How am I being rude by doing that?”
Minnie: “She’s probably crying somewhere right now!”
SBM: “Just because I get a girl’s phone number … doesn’t mean I have to call.”
Minnie: “You should at least give one try at a conversation!”
SBM: “But I knew I wasn’t going to call when I got the number. I just needed something to to while standing there a way to end the conversation. It seemed natural.”
Minnie: “SHAME!”

For many years in my youth, I thought “when a girl give’s you a number … she wants you”.  I envisioned her patiently sitting by her phone, checking it at regular intervals, and practicing the “casual line” she was gonna drop when I picked up so I didn’t know she was waiting for the call.  Misconceptions like this are perpetuated by romantic comedies (which I passionately hate) and while this does occur, I think they are significantly less women jumping off of bridges because they didn’t get a callback then “He’s Just Not that into You” would like you to believe.

After coming to this revelation in my “coming of age” phase, I no longer felt this unneeded burden to call every number I got.  Sometimes I had no plan to call it when I got it, sometimes I just got busy, or sometimes I was just “killing time” with got promoted making this new prospect unneeded, and sometimes I just never got around to it.  The point is, just like women who give their number out with little to no interest in a person, or women who you suddenly can’t get on the phone anymore … there is no guarantee you will hear from me again.

See Also:  The Real Reason So Many Good Black Men Are Single

I don’t know how many women this confuses still, but I know I’m not the only guy … so as a public service, I’ll share:

SBM’s List of Reason’s he didn’t call you … even though your a great girl and he might really like you

He was bored

Have you ever been standing line a little too long and you strike up a conversation with the person next to you?  I’m an introvert … so only a true dime will prompt me to talk out of turn.  It doesn’t mean I want her, it means I just want someone to look at talk to while we wait on the slowest cashier of all time. And it’s easier to stare at your breasts if your looking at me instead of ahead. So, as a result of this boredom, I might try and get your number … just to see if I can.  Is it wrong … maybe no.  I didn’t promise you anything!

He has a girlfriend

As hard as it is to believe, guys with girlfriends will proposition women for their number.  Yet, he has no desire to cheat, keep options open, or even save it in his phone (I have several friends who literally pretend to put the number in their phone).  He might be bored (refer to above), he might want to see if “he’s still got it”, or maybe he needed to end the conversation (refer below).

See Also:  Yes ... I have a Boyfriend/Girlfriend

He needed a way to end the conversation

Let’s say for whatever reason a guy finds himself in an interesting conversation with a stranger of the opposite sex.  Sometimes it’s hard to find a natural way to end the conversation.  Women HATE rejection! It has been well documented by us here before, that not trying “something” can actually get you classified as gay (I know … ridiculous).  So, in order to protect this poor girl’s self worth, you make her feel wanted (although you might do more damage by never calling … but whose thinking that far in advance).  And after you get the number, it’s easy to end the conversation, as opposed to “so … I really need to walk to the other site of the room” or “is that my beeper?”

Hunting for sport

While Native Americans never hunted more than they could eat, that is not the case with the average American. If you can hunt fish or deer just for the joy of the hunt … why not women numbers?  There is a whole skill to getting numbers, and if you don’t use it … you lose it.  Drunken bets also come into play. My Line Brother (who becomes an arrogant “ain’t no one prettier than mean” reggin when drunk) bet me he could get more numbers than me on his birthday. He enjoyed his birthday … but lost that bet. Don’t even remember what I did with the numbers.

See Also:  The Butterfly Fallacy: How stomach butterflies will get you caught up

Someone else stepped up

Most people are actively pursuing multiple people at any time.  From the time he got your number, until the end of the mandatory one day waiting period, the potential girlfriend might have proven her worth and rendered your number needless.

He was drunk

When that liquid courage is running through your system, bluring your vision, and enhancing you usually meek game … anything can happen.  The next day (after the hangover is gone), he might not be interested, saw you through sober glasses on facebook, or forgot he even got a number.  Another case of “blame it on the alcohol”.

So, the next time you meet a great guy while out and about, have a mind blowingly good conversation, give him your number … and never hear from him again except when your stalking him on twitter, don’t be surprised and don’t be mad.  It’s OK.  It might not be you.  Remember … life aint fair, especially when it comes to dating!

Guys, anything I missed? Women … feel me? Mad?

– SBM aka “Oh … my bad … my phone fell in some water the day after I saw you last month” aka I’m just pressing random buttons

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