I ain't datin' you if you dated him.

I ain't datin' you if you dated him.

I was chattin’ wit my boy Seattle about fictitious and hypothetical situations the other day. Our discussion was partially inspired by SBM’s post from Friday on dating someone that’s an active and regular blogger. Personally, I haven’t dated someone that writes for a popular website. Despite what I do on a weekly basis, it’s hard to put myself in the shoes of a person who’s dating someone that has a website with a sizable following and is the focus point of e-crushes for those that appreciate good writing and honest perspective.

Being that I have an active imagination, I took this hypothetical a step further. Number of sexual partners aside, I got to thinkin’ about uncommon events of a person’s past that would prohibit me from dating them. I’m not talkin’ about coming from a criminal background or havin’ caught an STD that was curable. I’m talkin’ about other things that would ultimately affect my macho and somewhat fragile ego. Yes, I said it. I am willing to admit that I have a fragile ego at times. I don’t run around boo-hooing about randomness, but there are certain things that make me feel some sort of way that I don’t really like.

From my perusing of blogs and websites, I’ve learned that people love to talk about s*x and celebrities. This got me to thinkin’ about what my life would be like if I dated a celebrity? Would I be able to handle it? Is it something that I could truly be a part of without letting my ego and insecurities get the best of me? After a very small amount of deliberation, I came to a solid conclusion. The answer is no. I couldn’t date someone who lived in the limelight previously or someone that is livin’ in the limelight now. Quite frankly, it’s just not the way that I roll.

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In dating a celebrity, I’d hate to have to consider the fact that she’s slept with other celebs (Not cool) and that thousands of men are probably rubbin’ one out to her picture on a daily basis (Kinda cool and not cool at the same time). I’d hate to have to deal with the criticism that would come with being her boo and being a regular guy. I’d be analyzed like never before and I’d be put under a searing hot spotlight that I’m not really ready for now and probably won’t be ready for ever. Call me what you wanna call me, but I’m just speakin’ the honest truth. F*ck e-swag, because that doesn’t mean sh*t in the real world. Sometimes you gotta drop that persona and speak to the people (i.e. y’all).

As I’ve mentioned on my blog, I got friends that are in the hip hop industry. They aren’t main stream radio heavy hitters yet, but I know that the day will come where they’re stars. I see these women aggressively pursuing each of them and I give these chicks the side eye. Part of me is like “Do you really think my boy has time to do anything other than layeth down the pipe upon you? Do you honestly think he’s going to pursue a relationship with you given his world of options?” Yet and still, they aggressively try and I really don’t get it. These aren’t necessarily groupies. A lot of these chicks are in pursuit of a relationship. But as I’ve learned time and time again, many women (but certainly not all) operate differently than men. They can put a lot of things aside that I’d find downright outrageous. For example…

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What if my girl used to eff Jay-Z? I’m not puttin’ that aside. I won’t have s*x with a woman who used to take strokes from a camel (Sorry folks. You know it’s an accurate description). What if my girl used to date T-Pain back in the day? Now I gotta think about him on top of her delivering missionary pumps in auto-tune. That sh*t just isn’t cool to me. I don’t care how much potential our relationship has, I’m just not willing to put myself out there with a celebrity or someone that used to date one. I just want a regular life and a woman with a regular past—whatever that may be.

So for today’s discussion, I have a few questions. Would you date a celebrity? Would you date someone that used to date a celebrity? Are there any particular celebrities that you just wouldn’t tolerate if your significant other disclosed that they used to mess with them? Is a man that dated a celebrity more appealing to a woman than the opposite? Other thoughts?

I’d take the average nobody any day,

slim jackson

P.S. Add @slimjackson on Twitter!