It’s Friday. I know your counting down the seconds until you get to leave your job, salivating at the thought of hitting up the Friday Happy Hour spot.
Or better yet … you have a date. The guy that came at you last week with the good breath and that suit looking right … actually called and set something up. Or … that cute little thing that actually gave you the right number picked up when you called, granting you the “honor” or designing and executing a unique and memorable experience … known as the First Date.
First Date’s have lost a lot of their sexiness in these progressive times. Often they are dismissed with enough phone calls and good pipe. Oddly enough, I feel a first date is key to any strong relationship. It is a gesture by a man showing interest in a woman … and one that has the official SBM stamp of approval (a hard stamp to earn).
But First Dates can go wrong … horribly horribly wrong …
So … I present
SBM’s List of Worst First Dates
If you take a person to a wedding for the first date … do you plan to get a tattoo that says “Marry Me!” on your forehead the day after? This has to be the definition of “thirsty” for marriage. While this would make a great scene in a romantic comedy, I wouldn’t wish this on any man or woman. And don’t let her catch the bouquet. “You know that this means … right?!”
This one might not seem as obvious … but I think movies make horrible first dates. You can’t talk, and there is always this awkwardness of whether or not he should put an arm around her, grab a knee, or go hard and push for that handjob in the dark some other sign of affection to this “stranger”. This is a first date … talking is key … something you can’t do in the theater, unless its the hood one. Trust … avoid this one.
No better way to get ot know someone for the first time than smashing a stranger right next to em … right?
Now I know there are going to be a slew of females to fight this one. I know there is going to be an entire simp army that will beat me to the ground … but I’m not scared of any simp. I honestly think overly expensive dinners that are just aim to impress and show no thought on the guy’s part are horrible first dates. It has the potential to turn a good girl into a gold digger (hmmm … I’ve never run up the bill on a person before … what better place to try it with these $80 entrees). It all just feels so … so … fake. Love it or hate it … slum first date!
Dinner at Mom’s House
“Hey mom … I want you to meet Valerie. I met her last week and just wanted to see what you though of her.” I understand there was an age when this would make sense, and I understand some families are just super traditional … but let’s be real. If a guy or girl takes you to meet the folks on the first date … run.
Feel me? Got some to add to the list? It’s Friday … let’s have some fun with it!
– SBM aka “The Perfect First Date” aka I left the strip club off on purpose … great first date!