The G-Code was put in place for men and women to have some sort of code of ethics when it comes to sex, dating and relationships. I’ll give you a perfect example of the G Code and how it differs by gender:

Me: If you were out and you saw your home girl’s man out on a date with another girl, would you say anything?
Mary: I would pick up the phone and call her as soon as I saw his trifling ass.

Me: If you were out and you saw your home boy’s girl out on a date with another guy, would you say anything?
Chuck: Naw man, must adhere to the G Code. Rule 5-2.1 – A man must only be caught cheating by natural causes. And the person catching should be the person he is cheating on.

Now what you have these days is a guy who continuously leans on the G Code to a point where it’s egregious and tacky. Let me tell you some situations that really bother your fellow wingmen. Here are the Ten Commandments of G.

  1. If my Misses and your Misses are close and you get caught cheating and the Misses even remotely believes I knew about it, that’s my ass, please be mindful.
  2. Calls and texts at 3AM to tell us “where you are” in case your girlfriend asks should be kept to a minimum.
  3. Do not make me aide and abide in your escapades. No I will not look her up on Facebook or MySpace.
  4. Never throw another man under the bus to save your own ass. Ain’t no “baby the reason why I only got 7 condoms when you bought a 12 pack is because Dr. J asked could he use five to smash some chick the other night.”
  5. If you make me play wingman for your escapades, I expect free drinks.
  6. When you get caught, you are only allowed 24 hours of shelter before I kick you out too.
  7. I am not responsible for keeping up with your many aliases or the names of your random chicks.
  8. Keep your hoes in line. I will not accept, “How Come He Don’t Love Me?” phone calls or conversations on the other side of the club.
  9. I will slap you in the head if you start talking about making your mistress, your wifey.
  10. If you Plaxico yourself, I will deny I even know you. If you are going to take a fall, don’t bring others down with you.
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Violation of these rules will result in fines, suspension, probation and even the death penalty. The Death Penalty: If a 5/6 of the fellas vote of approval is obtained we can and will leave you assed out as it pertains to protection. Truth be told many a men have had to lean on the G Code before. They’ve asked me, *innocent smile*, to keep their location a secret while they went spelunking on Spring Break with the fellas. I’ve had more of my boys “spend the night on my couch” than I should be able to admit. Am I lying about it? Do you think these commandments are all inclusive or am I missing some? Ladies, don’t get it twisted… you know that 9 out of 10 of these commandments are unisex.

– Dr. J