In order to give “the other side” some representations and to thin out all the testosterone on here, we have brought back my favorite female guest blogger, Lisa Marie.  We will be back to the usual shenanigans tomorrow.

– SBM

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Ring Ring
Man: hey
Woman: hey….I was just calling to see if you were alive seeing as how you ain’t answer none of my calls or texts for the last 15 hours.  Since you finally answered, I’m assuming you ain’t dead…so were the f* were you?
Man: sigh…here we go again

And “here we go again” is right.  In the spectrum of male/female relationships, the “why can’t this dude answer his phone?” argument is a pretty consistent topic of contention.  Women want to know why men can’t answer the phone when they call or at the very least respond to calls/texts within a timely fashion and why their men don’t think to call them as much as they call their men. Men want to know why they gotta talk so much….i.e.  “I just left your house, what could we possibly have to talk about already?”  and why does the fact that they don’t answer the phone mean that they’re messing around?

Seeing as how this has been a frequent topic between me and my friends and seeing as how I just woke up fully expecting to see either a missed call or text from my SO in response to the missed calls/text messages that I know he saw sent about 12 hours ago, I figured I’d offer my perspective on the issue.

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First off, a little advice to the women on how to deal with it: in my experience, there are 4 main options to dealing with no calling ni**as:

  1. Bombard him with additional calls/texts
  2. Call up the friend/cousin/brother/uncle to find out if he’s with that stanky b* Lisa they’ve heard from him,
  3. do a drive by of his house and bust up in there to see what’s really going on see if he’s in there
  4. just wait.

Within the time-frame of 1-24 hours, unless you truly suspect foul play either by him or to him, I say that option #4 is the best bet.  Any other option will just make you seem like a crazy ho you’re overreacting and will give him fuel in the ensuing argument, i.e. instead of arguing why he didn’t answer your calls, the argument will turn to “why are you so jealous?” or “why don’t u trust me?” To avoid all that, the best bet is to go with the just wait option…when you finally do hear from him lay into that a** explain to him how and why it bothers you when you don’t hear from him.  Outside of the 24 hour timeframe send out a search party explore the other options until you track him down, hopefully at home, alone, with a broken phone.

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Second off, some info for the fellas on the #1 reason why not answering your phone bothers us so much: It makes us think that you don’t care/that you’re ignoring us.  As stated in a recent post by Slim Jackson and RCLS, we get that your phone ain’t always fastened to your hip and you’re not constantly waiting for our calls/texts….but damn ain’t we fastened to your heart?!?  In other words, we can’t go for too long without thinking about you and giving you a call/text, so why are you ok with going hours without seeing how we’re doing?  Not responding for a few hours to a missed call or text or two is totally understandable cuz everyone gets busy, but as hours go by with no reciprocal contact, it begs the question “if you ain’t dead and you ain’t messing around, then why don’t you have a desire to reach out to me and see how I’m doing?”  Basically it makes us feel as is we’re not as high on your list of priorities as whatever is it that you were doing when you were not responding to/reaching out to us, especially when when we do hear from you, you’re only response is “my bad.”

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Again, within a certain time period, no contact is reasonable cuz people get busy, but I know women who literally go days, weeks, or months without hearing from their men which is straight craziness in my opinion.

On the flip side I also know women who freak out and when they haven’t heard from their men for 2 hours under the assumption that they’re either out with other women or dead/in the hospital.  To me, this is crazy overkill, which points to deeper issues of distrust within the relationship.

I guess to resolve the issue….Men: call your women/respond when they call and Women: don’t freak out when you don’t hear from your SO after 10 minutes.  It’s as simple as that…in theory, but of course much more difficult in real life application.  Anybody have any tips on how to deal?  Anybody ever experience the reverse situation wherein the woman was the one missing calls?  Share!

– Lisa Marie