***** Admin Note *****

It is official … I am now an ATLien.

After a very long weekend, a lot of miles on the car, and alot of UGK and Gucci Mane to keep my sanity while driving, I am not in my new apartment in Atlanta.  My love for DC will stay on into eternity and goes back like mumbo sauce and french fries … but I’m looking forward to the new locale.

– SBM

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I know I usually take this time to be witty.

I know I usually start out with something that really captures your attention, brings you in, and sets up the knowledge I am about to drop.

But … not today.  I think the title says all I need.  This is in no particular order and  this represents me spilling several years of dating and way too many stories into a concise compilation of knowledge bombs for the masses.

Enjoy … n sh*t

SBM’s List  of Sign that that chic is out her natural mind

She won’t answer simple questions

When your asking basic stuff like “Do you want sugar in your tea?” and you get roundabout answers that touch upon Al Sharpton’s failed attempt at presidency … something is wrong.  There are plenty of non crazy chics who are just hiding stuff, but when she is being difficult for no good reason and actually feel justified in her stupid answers … nuts.

See Also:  Slim's Search Criteria

All her friends are normal and well adjusted

The official statistics for this year haven’t made it in yet, but you can bet that around 76.1% of groups of all female friends have a “crazy one”.  Maybe because it’s the spice of life they add, maybe it’s to balance the universe, maybe its just cause crazy chics always got ur back in a fight … point is there is almost always one.  If all your girl’s friends are sane … then the process elimination means …

Constant mood swings

Ever seen someone bust out in tears because my her Big Mac was lacking the special sauce?  Ever witnessed a grown women go from depressed to elated over finding a penny?  If the most random and little things can turn her frown upside down and vice versa … chic is nuts.

She’s way behind on the times

If you get a funny look when you talk about “Coming to America”, hear a “huh” when quoting Tommy from “Martin”, or you get a blank stare when you say “black” and “president” in the same sentence … then she’s nuts.  People who don’t participate in society are not all there … you know your reading this blog just to keep in the know.

See Also:  The "Performance"

She refuses to give head

I mean … if this doesn’t spell psycho …

Bad stories always have a sequel

If she can’t learn from her lessons, then there is a problem.  If she took the “blue pill” one night and ended up naked in a strange whirlpool filled with jello (cherry flavor) … there should be no second story about the next “blue pill” incident.  If she stays doing stupid isht … and then repeating said stupid isht … let her go.

I know someone is going to ask about the “How do I know if he’s crazy” list … but that’s not what I’m talking about.  Decided to do females today … so lets do females (no pun intended).

What did I miss?  All to obvious?  Share stories of crazy females from your past … venting is good!

– SBM aka Reformed Crazy Chic Datter

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