Dude: Where you at?
Chick: What the f*ck you mean where I’m at? Do I ask you where you are every time we talk?
Dude: You must be bleeding…
Chick: Not for another week. I just don’t like you asking me that like I’m sliding off.
Dude: So anyway, where are you?
Chick: *sucks teeth* At the grocery store negro.
Dude: Perfect. Can you pick me up some honey maple turkey and american cheese (white) so I can make lunch for tomorrow?
Chick: Half a pound of turkey and 6 slices of cheese like usual?
Dude: Yep.

Aight. So this scenario may have been a little dramatic. Eff it. Most of the scenarios here are. But hopefully, everyone gets the point of this situation. A good number of us have had someone ask our whereabouts either once or multiple times at regular intervals. A good number of us have also been the people asking the often dreaded questions. Whichever side you’re on, you’ve probably encountered some level of frustration along the way. And if it wasn’t with a significant other, it was with someone who overestimated the extent of your friendship or coolness level with them. I know when I leave work early or when I exit church after the 1st service that iHate when people ask me where I’m going. To those at work, I just say I’m going home to take care of 6 kids. To those at church, I say God told me not to say. Either way, I dodge the question regardless of where I’m going. I just don’t like certain people askin’ my whereabouts sometimes. Maybe I’m a jerk, but I don’t think I need to pacify certain folks’ quest for knowledge.

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I know some of the women are thinkin’ “Damn. I wouldn’t wanna be with him except for sex if that’s how he handles simple questions.” But honestly, that’s not how I operate in regular life with the boobookins. I have no problem answering questions about where I’m at or where I’m headed. As a matter a fact, she’d probably know where I was headed before I even left to go there without me havin’ to say anything. I’m pretty much a creature of habit and I think a significant other being able to ask questions is fundamental…to a certain extent. I’m a firm believer in consistency. If shorty never asks questions then suddenly starts askin’ my whereabouts, I’m probably gonna raise an eye brow and wonder why the questions since I’m such an upstanding individual. I’ll answer a few times and then I’ll take it as a question of my character (i.e. I ain’t ya greezy ex). And when I raise an eye brow, I get stubborn. And when I get stubborn, I’m a real bastard. Nobody wants to meat Slim the Bastard. Oh yeah. On the other hand, if shorty always asked my whereabouts from jump…well, I probably wouldn’t be with her. Just kidding. Sorta.

I don’t ask a lot of questions. It’s never really been my thing. There have even been times where I wanted to ask cuddlebear where she was or who she was with, but I felt at the time that it wasn’t the manly thing to do—or the secure thing to do. And from what I gather, it’s not just me. It seems like there are a lot of people out there of both genders who’d rather figure things out on their own than ask questions and risk coming across as insecure or obsessive. I’ve gotten better though. Seriously. I’ve gotten better. Now when shorty is out and I hear deep voices and glasses clinking or silence with whispers in the background, I can feel secure in asking where she’s at and who she’s with.

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So what about you? Are you reluctant in asking your significant other who they’re with and where they at? Do you like/dislike when people ask you questions like this? Any stories of people being spazzed on or spazzing on someone because they asked what they thought was a simple question? C’mon. I know you got something to say. Share til your heart is content.

You know where I am babe. You got me that phone with the gps,

slim jackson