To date, the terms; Gold Digger, Groupie and Jumpoff have been thrown around local nightclubs and social circles way too loosely. It would surprise you that most people can’t really define any of the terms. Most people say that it’s like porno, “I can’t tell you what it is, but I know when I see it.” I think that it’s time we put this matter to bed. From a socialite and also a member of circles that are always in fluxed with each of these types of people, I’m going to offer some guidance. Here are your Class-A Definitions for the aforementioned terms, afterward I’ll ask you to comment on your definitions and share some experiences.
The Gold Digger

“I’m not spending any money tonight. I’m not paying cover, I’m not buying drinks, I’m not spending any money tonight.” “Where are we going tonight? Park? Who do we know who has a table?” Although the first thing that comes to mind is how much you hate these women, these are actually the only ones out of the bunch who provide some type of worth. They work at their craft, they usually are attractive, and as Jay-Z said, “We got a bankhead full of broads, They got a table full of fellas.” Case in point, even though you are fronting the bill, you do get some residual benefit. And they also prove another key point, men enable women. Men always complaining about women being gold diggers, but they rarely realize no woman digs for gold if she keeps pulling a blank.

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The Groupie

She just wants to be in the “in” crowd. She enjoys being in the company of people who have a good time, and will ride the curtails of anyone who has some claim to fame. They are not to be confused with Gold Diggers. The key difference is that a Groupie will follow a group with dedication while not really receiving any benefits outside of association. A Gold Digger has no dedication to the group, only the money source. When the money dries out she will go to the next money source, a groupie will stay dedicated and wants you to pull through tough times.

The Jumpoff

If you’ve ever wondered to yourself, “Why is she sleeping with him?” Chances are she’s a jumpoff. A jumpoff is being used for nothing but sex. She receives no benefits and often times gets shaded. Do you have a friend that knows a local promoter and is convinced she can hit him up to get y’all in the club that night? However, when you show up at the club, practically nothing happens, or better yet, no response? Has she ever been excited because her boo was about have a big birthday bash or “make it big”? And then once he did nothing came of it? Jumpoffs pay cover to go to the club and leave with some random dude, or end up jumping off with the guy playing the let out. (Any chick who has ever been hollered at during the let out and she left with the guy, is a jumpoff. That’s not up for discussion.)

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The Hybrids

The Gold Digging Jumpoff – This girl seeks out people with “gold” to have sex with. She sleeps with them in hopes of gaining some benefits from the hem of the garment. Have you ever had a friend who regularly slept with a club promoter so that she could always skip the line, but she didn’t really like the guy? Perfect example.

The Groupie Jumpoff – If you have belonged to any Greek-related organization or were a member of an athletic team that was not professional, you know exactly who these women are. They will faithfully follow you to the end of the earth, defend your name, and will have sex with any person in the group because they are a member of the group.

The Wholly Trinity – She associates only with athletes, celebrities, and those making well into the six figures or more. She follows them wherever they go for a free ride, and offers up sex as a means to justifying her association. She actually considers these guys to be her friends, however, they don’t consider her to be anything more than a “breezy.”

In conclusion, I’ve defined the terms for you and then even begun to define the hybrids which are possible. I’ve always found it hilarious when women accuse each other of being one of the three. The reality of it is, most women accusing a woman of being a gold digger is probably one herself. Another thing that I would like to bring your attention to is that most times these women have no clue what they really are. Be very careful trying to tell someone they are a Groupie or Jumpoff even when they are. These women are convinced they are not, they are convinced they are “friends” with guys who only really use them for sex or to have some woman around. (I know I just hated on every dude’s promotion in the country, and I apologize.)

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If you fall into one of these categories, I’m going to be honest with you, there’s really nothing wrong with it. It’s something wrong with denying it. Own up to who you are. Being a gold digger is not a bad thing, it takes triple D’s; discretion, dedication and discipline. Being a groupie has it’s benefits; you can always leverage your network. Being a jumpoff is legendary; not everyone will be able to say they have the sex life you have, and also the health plan either, *Kanye Shrug.*

As much as you’re trying to deny it, you know Dr. J is talking to you.
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