There are plenty of fish in the sea and with a big enough net, you still probably won’t catch them all. If in your travels you come across a school of fish and aren’t able to catch all the fish in your net, do yourself and others a favor, pass that assist. Passing out assists are one of the things that make friendship a pleasure and not a burden. If you don’t pass out assists then you’re just a bad friend. There are several types of assists; the lateral assist, noticing that you can’t get any further and giving it up for the next man to try, the alley-hoop, taking the ball all the way to the basket before ducking away and letting another player score, or even the full court lob, done out of desperation to avoid a total lost, giving the ball to the player most likely to win and taking the L yourself. The best assists and my personal favorite are no-look passes where the chick doesn’t even know your passing. I have perfected this art in my travels. My friends often refer to me as Steve Nash. However beware if you’re Tyrone Hill it doesn’t matter who’s passing you the ball you won’t get it in the basket. Enough of that though, this story came across my desk this week:

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Dr. — Hypothetical for you. You’re single, you have a female friend, and she lives in Miami. You’re pretty sure you could smash but, because she lives in Miami, the opportunity to do so is limited. You have a male friend who just moved to Miami and he’s not adjusting well, difficult time meeting people, etc. Your female friend might move to DC in a year, is it okay for you to not put your male friend in touch with your female friend because you don’t want him to smash before you get the opportunity? And, for you, it would clearly be about the smash, because she’s a train wreck and you’d never seriously date her. Thoughts? – Anonymous

I love my job.

Let’s briefly tackle this manner. 1) This girl is a jumpoff. I hate to generalize but this girl has all the typical signs of a jumpoff. If a man is worried his friend will smash this chick before he can then she must be easy. 2) If you have a friend in Miami that you can smash, the real question is, “What’s keeping you from going to Miami and smashing?” 3) Poon coupons have no expiration date on them. If she will smash you now, she will smash you later, even if she smashes your friend.

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As a reminder to this guy, it’s bros before hos always. You can’t leave a man down, especially a man down in Miami, over some nut you’ve stashed away for a snowy day. Plus, who’s to say you can’t just tell your friend, I’m introducing you to this chick that I want to smash, so don’t beat. Unless, revisit point #1, she’s a jumpoff. And you know that she’s prone to ho activity.

If I was that guy, even in this situation, I would definitely introduce him to the chick and tell her to help him have a good time. I would even tell her, he’s a real nice guy who likes to have a lot of fun, he just needs to get his beak wet. The benevolence of poon always comes back around. And who knows you may end up at the Eiffel Tower with this chick later and then you get to smash.

Please answer the following questions in the comment box; 1) What do you think about this guy? and 2) Do you think he is obligated to connect his friend in Miami? As always, your other thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated.

This is Dr. J.