Throughout my life I’ve learned a harsh reality about the fairer sex. Whether it was through first hand experience or observation, I’ve come to a conclusion about women: In life, there are sisters, and there are Bitches! I detest b*tches with every fiber in my soul. I do not like them in a box. I do not like them with a fox.

Now, I’m not talking about the everyday woman trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents. I’m referring to the hating, trifling, lazy, & corny chicks who infiltrate the garden of Sisters like the thickest weeds in a cornfield. I rebuke you in the name of Soul Glo and Just For Me commercials across the country, and hope that the REAL sisters of the world smite you down! I was not raised to call a woman out of their name, however, I truly feel you are how you act, and act how you want to be treated. I doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, or everything in between, B*tches know neither race nor ethnicity. B*tches only rival Hulkamania as being the strongest force in the universe, and they must be stopped at all costs!! Now I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t break it down into tangible values. Allow me to present the different types of B*tches I abhor:

Angry B*tches
These are the women who walk around like every day is Desert Storm and they have a war to win. Always in a bad mood, irritable, provides an instant buzz kill at any party, and will more than likely growl at you like Funkmaster Flex before dropping the latest exclusive.

Sensitive B*tches
Now I know women on this site have emphatically stated that women are emotional creatures, and I can accept that. However, when your emotions reach a 7.5 or greater on the EMOmeter and you aren’t on your cycle then that is a bit much. Women who cry over any and everything, who try to use their tears to get them places, and who can’t take a joke, all fall under this category. I understand that those new shoes go extremely well with that dress and you didn’t expect it, but is that any reason to ball your eyes out?

Gold Diggin B*tches
You will be in debt messing with this lady! She has the finest of tastes, while her job/career is nonexistent. When talking about grabbing a quick bite to eat, she will reply “What the eff is a In-n-Out burger?!” and she’ll give you hella grief for even suggesting that you dumb down your dollars in her presence. She cares more about a mans bank account than content of character, and will lowkey swindle a poor simp dude into spending paychecks on her, while getting nothing more than a hug and maybe a pat on the back.

Crazy/Paranoid B*tches
They have Jasmin Sullivan on repeat. Talking out issues is never an option. You fear sleeping next to them at night, you fear for safety of your online accounts and all your passwords have been hacked! These women will cut a brother if they even suspect that a woman is looking at you in a sensual manner, even if its her 75yr old grandmother! This isn’t the sexy type of crazy. This is the “she should be committed” type of crazy that is the definition of “proceed” at your own caution! These women can be both vengeful and mean.

Uppity B*tches
These chicks have a completely false sense of entitlement. Bourgeoisie is a kind word for this type of female dog. They scoff at individuals for not having the most exclusive clothing or high end brand names, and would consider simping another form of chivalry. They also have a princess complex (which Ill speak on at a later date) which gives hem the idea that a man should be ready, willing, and able to tend to her every need because “my daddy treated me this way so why not?” What a load of crap!

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Dirty B*tches
They Nasty, and not in a good way. I refuse to believe that women fart, go to the bathroom, burp, or exhibit other natural nauseating nastiness (the Killer N’s). So anything of this nature and greater are unacceptable!

Hatin @$$ B*tches
They never have a good thing to say about anyone. They would rather point out a person’s faults than compliment them. They usually prevent brothers from baggin’ there cuter, smarter friends phone number. They’re usually troll-like in appearance, and crotchety in demeanor

Needy B*tches
You ever met a woman who was the antithesis of Independent and self-sufficient? Who think that their heart will cease to beat and lungs cease to produce air if someone doesn’t tend to their every ailment and concern? These women are needy. They never learn how to do anything on their own, or they do know and they’re looking for the right simp to exploit. They are EXTREMELY whiny, and will p*ss you off from 0 to 60 in 2.2 seconds.

Nosey B*tches
The woman that ALWAYS NEED TO KNOW SOMEONE’S BUSINESS OTHER THAN HER OWN! They’re worse than the women on 227! They will spread whatever information necessary and are the epitome of “high school”. They will always offer their “but you didn’t hear that from me” opinion in order to hold some type of power in relationships which are none of their business to begin with. Other women hate these women as much as I do.

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In closing, let me say that every b*tch is not a lady, but every lady has a little b*tch in her. This b*tchassness must cease or at least be contained in order for male sanity to remain in tact. I have much love for women of all races, shapes, and sizes. These b*tches can go to hell. Men, I know I forgot some of these b*tches. Please help. Ladies, which b*tch do you exhibit, and BE HONEST! Which b*tch do you hate?

I’m finna get banged on, and not in a good way,