Arguments are a reality in any relationship. There are different classes of power struggles that occur, and it seems that at some point every issue a couple has will be contested. Do we ever stop and say “why do we argue about everything?” or “Is what upsets me really that important?” Picking and choosing your battles are important. I’ll tell you why:
Women, I understand that you feel every issue you have with a man is of equal importance no matter how minuscule or major. I’m here to tell you that focusing on the minute issues will have you win a few battles, but you’ll lose the war. My mom used to get tight when I forgot to take the trash out. I’d literally forget 5 minutes after she told me because I was watching something on TV or something more interesting crossed my mind. You know what she did? Shed remind me at night again and if I still forgot, I had to put the trash in the backyard and had double to take out on Friday (2x a week garbage flow in NYC). She didn’t nag or complain, she just gave me equal responsibility. Now, I’m not saying to be our mothers, but friendly reminders, even jokes, can work in place of incessant complaining. I feel like women know what’s a minor issue and what’s major. I promise you if you save the real beefin for something major, a man will respect you for that and be very receptive.
Men, you know and I know that we tend to tune out and filter conversations with our girls depending on our level of importance, which usually means that only 10% of womens issues with us we’d consider significant. Ignoring general concerns of your lady is similar to ignoring that minor crack that rock left in your windshield. Sure, it’s small and doesn’t cause trouble, but neglecting it over time can cause an even greater crack to occur, and the damages could increase 700%! If you only took care of it earlier right?
You have to be aware of a woman’s mood and know when somethings bothering her. Sure she may say “nothing” meaning it’s definitely something and she wants you to Professor X her mind to solve the issue, but she can never say you don’t recognize problems! Communication is key!! Also as men if you’re going to deal with an issue internally, don’t let it ferment in your soul until you’re “mad as hell and you can’t stands no more”. It isn’t fair to her especially when women will ask what’s wrong. I know it may come across as emo, but a preemptive strike on any problems you have with your boo will go a long way to healthy communication and relations!
Picking and chosing battles can decrese the levels of stress in a relationship that develop with petty, stupid arguments. I personally have no time to dwell on small issues and I will make that perfectly clear. Yes we think all of ouf problems are important, but friends, family, cut buddies, bf/gf and husbands/wives will all have characteristics that piss you off. You either learn to deal with it, address it, or wak on by!
Cosign? Any examples? Don’t fight me on this. ONE!