*** Admin Note ***
Today, Tuesday, April 13, 2010, from 530-10pm at Sutra Lounge in Adam’s Morgan at 2406 18th Street NW, Dr. J will be one of several DC-area bloggers hosting a happy hour organized by Elevated Entertainment and Usual Suspectz. Come and finally put a face to Dr. J, support the SBM family, and DC bloggers. Admission is free. For more information, you can hit Dr. J on twitter (http://twitter.com/DrJayJack)
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**Me and my boy Seattle put this post together for 3 Ways after discovering that some women would prefer D strokes over amazing face assuming they can’t have both. This still makes me laugh. Enjoy. **

SLIM: I’m a huge fan of raw s*x. It brings so much joy to the life of the person (woman) receiving the pumpington. It also brings much joy to the person (man) delivering the glory strokes. Under normal circumstances, it’s supposed to be a mutual exchange of pleasures and delight that leave both parties in a state of euphoria.

Sometimes it’s not possible to engage in coitus and you end up having to do other things to bring or receive the pleasure. Ya know…things that are orally gratifying. I like that too…within reason. I’m not a fan of getting Woppington McSucklesworth from someone who’s mouth looks like jagged rocks that would shipwreck my piece.

SEATTLE: Just looking at a woman’s teeth gives me the shudders sometimes. It’s a wonder I place so much emphasis on a woman’s teeth and smile when it could literally destroy my whole life. Getting Heads Whoppington is like having a car in the city – you do all you can to keep yourself out of harm’s way, but eventually someone is going to scratch you. With that said, I wonder if they have those bumper guards available for your piece.

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SLIM: I’ll pass on the bumperguards to brave the elements and risk it all to get a good Sloppy Not-So-Floppy. There’s no doubt about that. However, I will not risk it all to dive peter head first into some poomps. STD’s and potential bumpy johnson aside, I sometimes just don’t think it feels as good. I also know that I’ma skeet regardless of what orifice I choose to invade. In my mind, why not pick the one that’ll provide the most variety. Besides, if a vagina (or bootyhole) had a tongue in it, that would be pretty weird.

SEATTLE: But if it did, do you realize how fantastic that would be? I wonder if there’s some amazing alien race out there with that ability. I bet there is and that’s why there’s so much money dumped into the NASA annual budget. I just can’t believe the U.S., Russia and China would spend mountains of cash and toil constantly just to kick around some rocks on another planet. There’s rocks right here. I see a whole bunch of out of the kitchen window. Wow. We’ve gotten way off topic Slim. Non oral orifices with tongues? Sigh. You see what just talking about head does to mankind?

Which is exactly why we don’t understand why women prefer Lord Pumpington over Sir Squiggly Wiggly. Now without going into the cocky talk (no pun intended) and how my piece comes with a resume and references and all that, I’ll just think about myself for a second. I love sex, but there’s nothing like laying back and receiving an education as if I’m Neo in the Matrix.

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**Proverbial Pause for the Duration of this Post**

SLIM: Agreed. And honestly, this has nothing to do with laziness. I’m not adverse to hopping on top and jack-hammering away.  Back-shots? Sure. Side smash? Wonderful. Receive Wops? Doing back-flips. And I also don’t understand why women would prefer to have some tenacious D over Tongue Tactics when most women can’t even have an orgasm without direct clitoral/love button stimulation. You, the women, can just lay back and enjoy the fruits of his face and clap your thighs against his ears til he goes deaf. Yet and still, many of you would prefer to have some D in your thang knowing that the only one that will get that elusive nut will be him.

You’d rather me inject you with hot beef rather than lay you back and eat you into ecstasy? Don’t you know the odds are in your favor if I do the latter? Foolishness. Well fine since I win either way. *Unzips pants and elephant can be heard*

SEATTLE: Your altruism rivals the great missionaries of the past sir. If you weren’t such an outward and infamous sexual deviant, I’d recommend you for sainthood. Nonetheless, you’re right. I know I’m going to get mine at some point. It’s inevitable like Old Faithful bursting on Yellowstone’s rocks. So, I’m focused on making sure you join me running in the sunflower filled fields in the town of Ecstasy. Population 2. Let’s see who’ll get there first. No need for Mapquest. Word of mouth will do.

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I can’t front though, I’m not one for the linguistics all the time. I tend to let my Not So Hunched Back of Notre Dame run up the tower and ring the bell. Still, I don’t understand why most women don’t take advantage of some face time. Sigh, guess it’s just one of those things I’ll never understand about women. Do you mind shedding some light on the situation? If you had to pick one, which would you choose?

Seattle – Baby, I Can’t Breathe – Washington

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Slim- Stop Squirming and Let Me Do My Job- Jackson