The Myth of Intimidation

Fine Female Acquaintance: You know it’s just so hard to find a good man.
SBM: heavy sigh Why do you say that?
FA: It’s just hard to find a guy who isn’t intimidated by me.
SBM: You out here hitting reggins (backwards) in the throat?
FA: blank stare No …
SBM: You out here backhanding these simps and sending them to sleep on the couch?
FA: Uhhhh … No …
SBM: Then do enlighten me as to how you are intimidating all these “I’ll kill you if you step on my white on whites” type of reggins running these streets?
FA: I’m successful.
SBM: Interesting. How do you know they are intimidated?
FA: They aren’t trying to wife me.
SBM: laughing inside Maybe they aren’t scared … maybe … just maybe … it’s something else.

Yes people … I am here to break the fallacy that all men are intimidated by strong or successful women. Women don’t intimidate good black men.

For the vast majority of non-simping a$$ successful black men … this is just bullsh*t. Women don’t intimidate good black men.

Exploring the Male Mindset

Now, let us enter the mind of your average male. We strive daily to give you a peek, but today go ahead and dust your shoes off as we go on a stroll through the male mind and see what it’s up to. Ignore all the graphic sexual content on the walls, floors, blasting over the intercom, on the TVs, etc. That only comes up every 8-10 minutes.

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Women’s Words vs. Men’s Thoughts

Woman: “I am really focused on my career and becoming a managing partner at my firm.”
Male Thought: “This chic ain’t trying to cook for me if we get married.”

Woman: “I bought this 3-bedroom single-family house on my own because I had the money too. When I meet the right man, we’ll have a nice home to start in.”
Male Thought: “How has she planned what her husband is doing and where he is moving before meeting him?”

Woman: “I am willing to let a man take control … when I deem he is ready. And if he slips up and makes a decision I see bad, I will let him know. But I want to be led by a man.”
Male Thought: “This b* outta her mind. How is that giving him control when you can veto him and you have to ‘deem’ him ready? Sounds like a manager at a job, not a loving wife.”

Woman: “I am perfectly capable of paying for everything I want on my own … I just want my man to want to take care of me.”
Male Thought: “She sure seems hellbent on proving to me and every other man she can do things on her own. I feel like an accessory instead of a needed part of her life.”

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Fear or Compatibility?

Basically … we aren’t scared (cue Bone Crusher). Men are not afraid of you. We do not see a strong woman as something to be feared or as a threat to our manhood. We just think you will fail as a loving wife, girlfriend, or life partner. Women don’t intimidate good black men.

Yeah … I said it.

The Need for Support, Not Critique

A lot of the characteristics and personalities that make you “strong and independent” are also signs that you will not be able to lend us the support that we need. We need a cheerleader … not a coach. No man wants to have his decisions and actions critiqued by his manager and boss, to have his loving wife explain why she is taking back control. As soon as we realize this and end any relationship hopes, women label us as intimidated.

Rethinking Intimidation

Many women fail to reach this balance. I can often ask no more than four questions and figure out they are not giving up the control they claim they are. They are attempting to wear their work pants into the bedroom … and we don’t like that.

This does not apply to all men. Them reggins with no job, money, or house of their own may very well be intimidated.

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But really … strong women aren’t looking for them, so don’t even think about that.

I know many women won’t agree. Many of you who identify as “strong” will keep saying, “these men can’t handle me.” I pray for you. Take a second and think about this? Don’t I raise some good points? Has any remotely successful actually said, “you intimidate me,” or was it just your girlfriends?

Men, am I right? Is it just me? Am I alone in not being shook by a woman with a 6-figure salary?

SBM aka Only God intimidates me aka “Take off my pants and let go of those reins.”

P.S.: I’m not saying women don’t scare men.  It is possible she can be so perfect, that we get scared that we might actually have to settle down and stop running the streets … but that ain’t intimidation … recognize.