Average or Exotic?

What’s good everyone,

So Dr J. dropped some food for thought last Tuesday when he wrote about women who do not get along.  I read all the comments and tried to assess if I felt the same way. Now, while I think some women cannot coexist with others from their gender, I do know there’s an inherent hate amongst females for different reasons.  I didn’t know at the time how to articulate my point, but then I had an epiphany I need to goto Tiffanys when I watched the Wale Diary video:


If you notice the comments on the video, people (mainly women) are applauding Wale for “having an average chick in the video instead of an exotic one”. This was a direct backlash at Wale’s Pretty Girls video where non-lightskinned women felt all the females displayed were of the same persuasion (light skin, long hair, etc). Watching this situation unfold, I had a few comments:

1) I wonder what shorty thinks about being called “average” – I saw the video, and I think she’s pretty, and to me that’s not average (unless you’re around beautiful women 24/7 and even then…). When I think average, I think of a regular chick not too much beauty, not too much personality, just…average. I don’t know the young women in the video “like that”, but on looks alone, to call her “average” is a bit egregious. Why would women consider her average? Then it dawned on me..

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2) Women associate certain features to be beautiful/exotic – I’ll let Peyso/Young Dos Equis(I’m not typing that log arse username out) tell it regarding societal influence on what people perceive as “beautiful”. Kanye West in the December 2006 issue of Essence Magazine is quoted as saying, “If it wasn’t for race mixing there’d be no video girls. Me and most of our friends like mutts a lot. Yeah, in the hood they call ‘em mutts.”  <– This is a problem. However, I find it funny that women who argue that all shades/forms of beauty aren’t represented in videos, consider a woman who isn’t of the light skin long/curly hair, South American resembling persuasion, average.  You know I’m a computer scientist, so my Modus Ponens logic tells me that you consider these women “above average” or “more beautiful/pretty than the “average”,  which would represent the “normal” woman.

This is a HUGE problem. This is deeper than preferences. This automatic assumption in many cases lead to that initial hate that females harbor towards one another. This is not race specific either. Women of all races would consider a beautiful women outside of their race/nationality/skin tone “exotic”, and more than likely the men of their race would consider them exotic as well.  Is this the reason for that hate? Do women feel threatened by “outsiders” who are coveted by “their men”, and get upset when these ‘exotic” women are glamourized and admired?

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Furthermore, if you consider a woman that looks like you, or who closely resembles women “in your class” average, that exemplifies a lack of self esteem. It shows me that you automatically assume that you are “OK”. You are the underdog. I don’t know about you, but my parents raised me to be extraordinary, not ordinary. I always strive to be better than “average”. I damn near got @ss whoopings if I ever walked into my house with “average” grades which never happened till some college semesters, so I was instilled with a drive to be better.  Some women may state that they don’t think they’re average, but if your instinct compels you to consider women who look like you “average”,  then there’s an embedded sense of mediocrity which is causing you to hate your fellow heroine in the struggle.

Men get roasted constantly for their preferences. We get told society is brainwashing us to believe that certain women are more beautiful than others. My problem arises when these same women are subliminally agreeing with this notion with comments like “I’m glad an average woman is representing in this video”. If you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem! on another note, if a man isn’t attracted to you, that doesn’ diminish your level of attractiveness or beauty. I know dudes who think certain modelling/famous beauties are “average” to them. You cant control a dude’s tastes. unless you have glaring deficiencies, and good friends to tell you this, you need not worry about preferences. Halle Berry is above average to me and look at how all some of her love stories ended…

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I know, this don’t apply to you because “you look better than that Wale video chick anyway”? You Right…

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