I said "Holly" not "Hobby"!

Today, I’m writing about a certain type of swindle that occurs between men and women. This swindle rears its head when men/women pursue an individual whom they want to beat those get to know better, but they are otherwise occupied or not interested. They seem to accept residence in the friendship zone, but this is part of their master plan for sexual domination. Why does it seem as if (s)he can be such a good friend when they were so interested/attracted to you? It’s because you, my friend, are a Hobby Chick:

Ladies – You know the guys whom you tell that you’re not interested, yet they seem to hang around and are accessible when you want to complain, blow off steam, or need a favor? They’ll chill with you here or there, keeping things platonic unless they see some sort of daylight (here you’re having guy problems, see you as extra affectionate, etc). They play the role as the male heterosexual bestie, yet you know in the back of your mind he’s attracted, yet you don’t feel threatened? This is because you are the hobby chick! My dude has a stable of women, a girlfriend, or c) both a) and b), but you are like his crown jewel. He’s treating you like Pokemon: Gotta catch em all! Adding you to his collection would be the ultimate win. He’ll compliment you, say all the right things, act chivalrous, treat you right… “and gurl he’s not even trying to get in my pants!!” #SWINDLE. You think that he got the point when you refused his advances, but he loses no ground. He’s getting what he needs to get from others, so working on you in his spare time serves as a nice side quest in his main quest to pimp all over the world. Even Steve Urkel was wearing Laura Winslow down while he was dating Myra (and I still say he’s a fool for that, Myra was FINE!! R.I.P.)

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Fellas – O you thought we were exempt? Please. We can be “Hobby Dudes” as well! You know the women who know you have a significant other or “situations” and she still plays you close? She isn’t lurky1 persay, but she’s subconsciously disregarded your statement and will still do things for you, chill with you whenever, keep a “strong friendship”, all the while she has ulterior motives. This is usually the “I don’t care if he has a GF” type women. Don’t get it twisted Hobby Chicks, if you have a man this happens to you too! Remember the classic phrase “What’s your man gotta do with me?!” With Hobby Dudes, however, this definition can get more complex. A woman will also make you a hobby dude if she sees you as potential boyfriend material, but feels like she needs to “mold you” into her ideal candidate. She may even “wait around” for you “be ready” to wife her, while she still dates & gets into other relationships with other men! She isn’t losing either way, so she can give you tips, tell you what ‘women” would like you to wear, say, and do. You think its a friend trying to help you win, but that’s half true. She’s trying to help you win WITH HER!

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Now as always there are exceptions to this rule, but this happens a LOT with men/women in relationships; Especially relationships on the rocks. Too many times have I seen couples who try to reconcile, only to see the Hobby vultures circle and strike! Then a few months down the line, that “dream relationship” goes down the drain. This isn’t a PSA to be weary of all “friends” of the opposite sex. I just want women mainly, and men also, to realize that a lot of people, especially randoms, will use the guise of a platonic friend to win.

Have you experienced the Hobby Chick / Dude situation? Have you ever treated a woman/man as a hobby? Do you disagree? Lets speak on it.

1 – Another word for stalker or someone who watches too close. Think of the people who read status messages to see where you are and popup unexpectedly, or somehow get your contact info without consent.