Sigh...so long, friend.

It’s wedding and graduation party season. This means it’s the season to spend a lot more money than I had budgeted. I suppose I’m at that age where I can no longer go to some type of life celebration event and not bring a monetary gift totaling less than $20. I’m gonna have to create a separate bank account specifically for gifts and hope that I can write it off in next years taxes somehow. But anyway, I spent last weekend in California. I’d like to say that I was there for total leisure, but it was partially business in the form of a wedding.

Last weekend, the first friend in my group of friends took the plunge and threw his life away in the name of marriage. I’ve had friends get married before, but never a black one. I actually wrote on my gift envelope “To my first black friend to get married.” I was hoping it would get read aloud, but due to time constraints and the fact that no wedding starts on time, it didn’t happen.

His wedding was significant not just for himself and his family, but also all of the friends on both the east and west coast. On some level, we all found ourselves reflecting and introspecting at some point about where we are in our lives. We also placed bets on who would be next to walk down the isle and into the pool of love lava. A few of the boys voted me to be next. I think they just like wasting money. Though I do like playing the role of Mr. Snuggles and Mr. Eat-You-Into-Ectasy, I have a very long jawn way to go before I can consider marriage. Why? Well, I just need to develop more in a few key areas before I can be comfortable with the idea. I can’t commit my life to someone when I know that I have such a long way to go personally, emotionally, but most certainly not physically. I’m on a horse.

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There is one other thing I wanted to note though. When the bride threw the flowers over her head, women scrambled to catch them in hopes of being next. When the groom threw the garter thingy tat he skillfully removed with his teeth back over his head, all of the men scattered and jumped out of the way as if it were a grenade. This was a hilarious scene given that I’ve never watched a large group of black men scatter just to avoid the thought of long-term commitment symbolized by a flying garment. I guess there is some truth to what’s being said about us out there, because even I cowered under a table when it was in the air. I’m still Harlem shaking actually.

And yeah, I was a little bit all over the place with this one. That’s what the thought of marriage does to my brain sometimes. Plus, I just had a lot of thoughts in general. So here are some questions to ponder for today:

  • Do you have weddings on the agenda for this summer? If so, are they close friends or family in the same age range?
  • Are any of your closest friends married? If so, do you think the person is happier now than when you tore up the streets together in singledom?
  • Lastly for the single women, do you try to catch the flowers like they have the key to eternal youth in the petals or do you calmly stand and watch?
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Feel free to share any other thoughts as well.

If you touch me with that garter, I’ll whoop your a$$,

Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com