Its gotta be the dreds...

As I perused the internets and some of my favorite blogs sites, I saw a recurring theme. Slim Jack spoke on dating down at his home-base.  Max wrote about great guys and how they date “regular chicks”. Seattle WA spoke on women who use their beauty to get ahead. No not THAT way, but maybe? I also had a few chats about the theme of looks and dating, and I come to a fact that is generally known and needs to be cosigned more: Ugly dudes STAY winnin when it comes to women! I know a lot of people who throw the prince side eye when they see a snaggle toothed Flava Flavian brother with a beautiful women, but there’s a few reasons why the less visual pleasing gentlemen remain victorious.

Their Game is Immaculate
I remember when I was younger, how my cousin and our boys would clown each other. They used to call him ugly all the time, yet when he responded “But I get [women] though!” they were silent. This man could sell fire to Johnny Blaze or Storm! He wasn’t “ugly ugly” but he wasn’t a pretty boy either. Ugly dudes  develop super slang, as they know that verbal intercourse will assist in getting (and keeping) a woman’s attention. They seem to know when to say it, how to say it, and how to react to what’s said. I swear ugly dudes coined the terms “Excuse me miss can I get 5 minutes of your time?” or “…But you can’t have friends though?” You can learn a thing or two from an ugly dude on how to chat with the fairer sex.

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Confidence/personality is on a hundred thousand trillion
If you ever need a lesson or a muse in believing in yourself, find an ugly dude. These guys refuse defeat. Surrender is not an option. Their [insert a word other than sw@g] is everlasting. They can get shot down by 6 women, only to believe that 7 times a charm. Confidence goes far in courting a woman, and these men have damn near perfected this craft. If you don’t tell yourself that “you’re the ish” then who will?  There’s something to be said about having a million dollar mindset with quarter water looks.

All other aspects of appearance are enhanced
When someone is blind, it is said that all other senses are enhanced to above average levels. Hearing is more acute. Smell is twice as potent. Taste and touch are attuned to super sensitive levels. These other sense compensate for a lack of sight. In the same fashion, an ugly dude enhances other aspects of their visual. They will have the freshest kicks.  They’ll wear clothes that compliment their personality. They will hit the gym and work on that beachbody. They’ll drive miracle whips. They’ll even roll with “the beautiful people” in their crew! All other aspects of the visual will be enhanced, and the total package [||] will be complete.

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They’re blowing women’s backs out
These unaesthetic pleasing individuals are laying more pipe than Mario and Luigi.  If y0u question anything else I’ve written on this topic, take this point to church. Good sex will make a woman’s thoughts jumbled and increase your attractiveness 1000%. Think of how many relationships should’ve ended about 6 months sooner than they did. A lot of times sex makes women hold on (another post another day). In the case of an Ugly Dude, it makes them sexy and “handsome”.  Who knew slaying v@gina could cure the common could make a dude look sexy?

So there you have it. I salute you my anti pretty, anti cute brethren! Keep making it do what it does. I see you brother. Avatar.

Ladies, do you agree? Have you ever dated an ugly dude and saw these qualities? Any self professed “ugly dudes” have a testimonial? “Handsome” dudes, #youmad?

My mama said I’m her handsome son, so eff yall!