There’s never an easy way to let someone down, which is why people classically tip toe around the truth to “let them down easy”.  In the workplace, it’s never easy to criticize a co-worker/superior/employee, but in the interest of running a lucrative operation, you have to deliver the news. In between the sheets however, it’s that much harder to deliver mind blowing orgasms constructive criticisms to someone who has shed all their inhibitions and shared themselves with you.  But at what point do their feelings outweigh your desire to have your “daddy” smack your ass and pull your hair be satisfied sexually?  Can you really just tell someone they suck in bed?

Honesty is the best policy

This phrase gets tossed around often and sounds like an urban legend rather than anything based in reality.  People usually don’t enjoy hearing uncomfortable truths, especially when that truth might be that your self proclaimed “bomb ass head” is more like firecracker fellatio.  Not fireworks, just firecracker.  You can always elect to tell this person the truth, but at some point there has to be a cost analysis that occurs in your brain.  What value is there in telling this person their efforts are futile?  Maybe you have just been spoiled in the past and there is no need to shatter this person’s ego. It’s quite possible that either they aren’t that experienced, or they’ve actually practiced alot, and this is ’bout good as it’s gonna get.   You can cut them loose and move on because after all, they’re not your problem anymore, right?

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In casual sexual relationships, you can usually bypass this conversation by avoiding the person completely and start giving those little hints.  No matter how much you like a person, it’s only so long you can fake it or pant “right there, right there” in vain.   It becomes almost second nature to part ways with someone after one or two bad sexual experiences.   No matter how many times you try to zone out and pretend he was someone else or think about sports, when you open your eyes you’ll be still be getting lame lip service.  “Quality” sex is usually a deal breaker, but in trying times and special circumstances, mediocre sex is tolerated.

Special circumstances can range anywhere from “she’s stable” to something like “his daddy is filthy stinkin’ rich”.  It becomes one of the things people usually “settle for”.   Droughts usually persuade people to put up with lackluster performances until something better magically appears, or reappears.   If you’re a good sport, you can try to teach them the arts, but there’s no guarantee that they’ll actually learn anything.   People  have a hard enough time discussing their feeling with one another because they think they might hurt the person, so the thought of slightly damaging their confidence and hurting their feelings.  Some people just want the situation to become awkward when the person responds to your request with a polite “I don’t do that”, or the even more awkward revelation that you might actually be the problem.  Ouch.

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If you read my posts often, you’ll know that I usually just make observations as opposed to offer advice.  I’ve personally used the avoidance technique in the past, knowing that I do not have the patience to coach anyone nor the tact to express myself and spare this person’s feelings simultaneously.    I can’t supply you with the words to let someone down easy, but I can tell you that if you express yourself maliciously or with no real intention of helping this poor sap person improve their performance, it’s  a complete waste of time.    On the other hand, if you have a “Liar Liar” moment and impulsively tell your lover “No” when they say “Does that feel good?”, that might actually be kind of funny.  Do you really need to have this conversation with this person?  Should you just keep your opinion to yourself, or should you impart you knowledge?  Are there different circumstances where the truth about their performances be told or with held?  Have you ever had to break the news to someone? Is there an easy way to tell an emo-cat that he just wasted 2 minutes of your life?  Can you possibly tell this crazy chick that her head game need practice?  Is that 21 questions yet?

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I can handle the truth,