Love and Post-Coital Bliss Look Alike

There’s a thin line between love and like. We may tell family members that we love them. We may tell our best friends that we love them, and men may even forget to say “no homo”  or “pause” sometimes when conveying the message to one of the fellas in times of crisis. Actually, a dude will prolly say “You know if you ever need anything, I got you fam” (hetero disclaimer goes here). Yeah, that’s conveying the same thing. That’s a different type of love in my opinion. Some may disagree. That’s fine.

But seriously, I think a lot of us confuse love with a strong level of like or desire to remain in our comfort zones when it comes to relationships. Some men/women are skilled at the effortless art of getting people to fall in love with them. Hence, a guy being p*ssy-whipped or having that good stuff surrounding his jawn. Good stuff could be an amazing oral extraction or the comforting security of the great walls including the hurricane squeeze. Dude ends up there afterwards feeling milked with toes curled thinking to himself “I love this chick!” No you don’t homie. You just really like the state she put you in. Wait 20 minutes then see how you feel. I bet that feeling subsides.

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On the flip side, a chick may be getting the most endowed enriched dose of vitamin D in history and find herself panting, tossing and turning, and clenching her legs together while thinkin about that special somebody. Yeah, that person may be cool and decent looking. That’s important. She may tell her girls or close male friend that she loves him, but chances are she likes him and loves his stroke/face game. Ya see, there’s a difference. I won’t even talk about what happens when a dude snatches a v-card, since that was so long ago for most of us. Lastly, a couple may have been together so long that one or both people think they love each other, but they’re really just comfortable where they’re at. Complacency can be some complicated ass sh*t.

I’ve found myself in situations before where I was trying to decipher if I actually loved my significant other at the time, liked them a lot, or if I was just too lazy to leave the situation. One thing I’ve been very careful about is throwing that love word out there. It’s not a tactic I’d ever use to get the bunz. I think that’s corny. That’s also how dudes end up in court rooms fighting restraining orders, fixing their damaged car, or waking up to their breakfast sausage layin detached next to them. For every action, there’s a reaction…and it isn’t always pleasant when it comes to love.

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The sh*t gets even more complex when you don’t love the person that loves you or vice versa. How do you tell someone you don’t love them after they confessed their love to you? How do you handle being told you’re not loved once you put yourself out there? Unless you’re emotionless, those are awkward and tough situations to be in. Some would say “It’s about maturity. Next topic.” But from discussions I’ve had with people around me of all ages in person and in the interwebs, I’d argue that most of us don’t feel it’s that simple.

I know this is turning into a ramble, but my greater purpose was to find out how people gauge if they love someone…if they even think about it. Some say love doesn’t require a thought as much as it does an emotion which people just recognize. I kinda disagree. I’m also curious if people have had the “I love you” dropped on them and didn’t respond the way the person hoped or vice versa and how that turned out? And another question, how many folks out there thought they were in love with the person and then realized they confused love with lust?

I Only Loved One of ‘Em,

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