woman applying lipstick

Baby Girl … I see you

You thought you were gonna get away with wearing baby blue flip flops with your black outfit, because “guys don’t notice” … WRONG!

While a lot of women are very detailed orientated and realize that in order to attract the type of man they want (who is perfect in every facet) they have to be on their p’s and q’s (does anyone know where that term came from)?

Sadly … some of these same women demanding perfection aren’t exhibiting it.  There is this general misconception that no man notices the little things you did to properly pull together your look.  There is also a belief that as long as your titties are popping out the top of your shirt and your jeans look spray painted on that we will forgive all the other things that are slipping.  I’m here to tell you that there is a large contingency of guys who care about these things.  This especially comes into play when I see you on a regular basis.  If we work together, I’m watching.  In class together, I’m watching.  Dating … I got a mental spreadsheet organized by dates and outings!

And if it’s not the majority of guys … I notice … and that’s all that matters! Here are things that men notice in women.

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The color on your toes and fingers

I will caveat this with “this might just be me” … but I notice.  Nails and toes actually have the ability to make a seemingly OK girl damn near sexy.  I can think of more than one occasion where I saw a girl and thought “damn … she’s sexy.  I’m not sure what it is or what she is doing, but she is doing something serious”.  Then … I see her again next week and one thing, just one single thing has changed … the color of her nails.  Suddenly, she has acne (which I just ignored before), her voice is a little nasally, and her ass curves inward.  And don’t let me see you wearing red … that sh*t is a dealbreaker (you say I’m picky … f* you).

They type of cell phone you carry

I’m just saying … if you’re not rocking a smart phone, or at least something with a big screen or slider keyboard … then what am I gonna do wit u?

Those random dumb comments that you think are pure pintelligence

I got a text a few days ago that made me think.  “Is it OK to stop talking to a girl because she pronounces salmon as ‘sal-mon’?”  I sat and looked at that text.  I put the phone down.  I pondered on it.  Then I hit him back with simply, “no”.  Dumb comments have been made to make me go from raging bull to limpy McLimpinstein in 5 seconds.  These seemingly minute slip-ups are noticed.

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Those heels with that you can’t wear to church

It’s a well known fact that women are always checking out and analyzing the shoes of other women.  But I’m here to let you know that many a woman have received an instant 1 – 2 point increase just by the unnatural feeling the “f* me now” heels they had on ignited in me.  When combined with the nail factor, the ability to attract a previously uninterested guy is gained.

The sticky stuff that covers your lips (get your mind out the gutter)

When you see someone at work or school everyday … you start to notice things.  There is nothing at all wrong with natural lips, but there is a lot to be said about that liquid lip gloss sh*.  When bored in another 3 hour endless meeting, thinking about those moist lips wrapped around my man mojo pressed against mind is def running through my mind.

The foundation, powder, goopy gook … whatever that makeup stuff is you put in to cover blemishes

I knew a girl in college who wore an immense amount of foundation (I still don’t really know what foundation is … but one of my female friends told me it was foundation she was ODing on).  She wasn’t bad looking, but every time I saw her I just wanted to touch her face to how deep I had to go to hit skin.

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Hopefully I haven’t exposed myself as the picky detailed oriented motherf***er that I am … but trust me, I’m not the only one.  And for those of you unwilling to put the painstaking time and effort and care in … don’t worry.  Rarely has any of this every killed a woman’s chances with me or someone in the crew.  But for those of you looking for that little boost … that differentiator … take heed.

We discussed the things that men notice in women. Ladies, what are the little things you notice about us?  Do you have tips on how we can attract you? Guys, what did I leave off?  Am I just making all this stuff up and no one really cares?

SBM aka “Her second toe is longer than the first … pass” aka “I will pay for you to get your nails down if that’s what it takes”