What’s good everyone,
I told a few of the writers on SBM that I didn’t want to do a sex/relationship/dating post until 2011. Not that I didn’t have material, because like the great Dylan Dillenger, I do indeed spit “hot fiyah”. Instead I wanted to give out readers a change of pace from the norm and just exhibit my diverse writing ability, because I hate to be pigeon-holed. Well I was going to break my sexual silence and drop a fun post, but some recent events have caused me to speak out about a topic that’s pissed me off for a while now: This current generation of men are b*tch made and leave previous generations longing for the good ole days.
I remember a time where if you had an issue with an individual, you would “shoot the fair one”. In 2010, men would rather resort to gun violence than settling issues with fisticuffs or God forbid, words. In 2010, 21 year old men who should be responsible and claim ownership for their actions, will go on twitter and subliminally diss people, or even worse go on Facebook and write a NOTE about a situation, instead of approaching individuals in real life! What part of the game is this?!
In 2010 men wear denim spandex, otherwise known as skinny jeans, and pass it off as fashion. Don’t bring up the 80s to me, lol, this is WAY worse. These dudes have no respect for the past, including the struggle of the Civil Rights movement or even their PARENTS struggle to make sure they have a roof over their head. They pillow talk worse than woman, and will stop at nothing to tear down a mans character for the thrill of the pum pum. They thug on the INTERNET and are sheep in real life! They have a enormous SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT as if the world owes them for existing. It’s extremely disgusting and discouraging at the same time.
I definitely want to have kids one day. I fear bringing up a son or even a daughter in this era. I’m trying to figure out when this shift occurred. By decree of greek deference, I’m asking either Peyso or Most to drop that “degradation of the black family” or “social norm deviation” theorem to hypothesise or theorize on this subject. These weak dudes have me too pissed off to even think straight.
The type of men I considered role models, the type of men I assocatiate with, I consider REAL DUDES. The type of dudes who take ownership for their actions. They type of men who stand up when something is wrong, respect friendships, and carried themselves with dignity. These are qualities that are severely lacking in young men today, especially young black men. I won’t say that some of these qualities didn’t exist when I was a teenager, but I will say it more widespread and common in this era.
I didn’t mean to drop a rant, but I’ve seen too many acts of bitchassness not to speak. Maybe this is why more men should mentor our youth. Maybe this is why 2 parent households are more conducive to a more stable child. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that for the sake of black men and men in general, we need a return to normalcy, #BoardwalkEmpire.
Men do you see what I see? Am I just wildin and need a #ChillOldHead? Women to do see this with the women of today? What’s the cause?
Thanking my father every day for the blueprint to run with, I remain…
Ain't too much new under the sun, when it comes to people, maturity and character. What you see know probably comes from the fact that you are now at an age where you see/observe more than you used to when you were young. B!tch@ssedness is not new, they just have new mediums (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) Ya gotta let them grow some, because trust in few years they will be saying the same about the generation behind them, just like the one before you said it about yours.
no one said that bout me…lol
of course not, you are the exception, please excuse me for not making that clear
Yeah I have to agree with fixedwater… It's cos you're older…the generation before me said it…I say it and the one that is here now will say it later about the next one too
plus the kids these days are raised different…back in the day, kids gamed in the streets and they toughened up thru the friendships or fights they found there…
these days it's about cyber friendships & the number of followers u've got. #SheepMentality has people mindlessly mouthing off, dissing and dismissing without really knowing what's what because it sounds cool and might up their following #Weak
It also means people can cop out of standing for something…simply because they no longer understand the value of fighting for something…it's a human flaw to forget that, things are as they are now because we sand on the shoulders of the giants that came before us.
One day, as an individual, all will look in the mirror and realise this approach is wrong…by that time a lot of folks will have adopted it as the norm… sadly manu won't have the guts to stepout of that sh*tty and miserable mould.
My advice:
– never forget where u came from
– be better/ aim higher
– #DoYou
I agree with you there!! All this *ethuggin'* and *e'goonin'* must end… I am on the internet the same as I am in person, no difference.
I say this as well when I see a pack of This text is <del>goons and gangsters</del> out! kids after school on the bus and on the train their behavior is how shall I say… unsavory and I know that we didn't act this way on the bus or cuss in front of older people and children, talking loud they way these kids do!
They don't conduct themselves like ladies and gentlemen and they are in large groups and that is what's so scary.
Women these days act just as strange…smh I don't what happen maybe they put something in the Kool-Aid, or the sodas and quarter waters… *eshrugs*
boom shakalak! right out of the gate fixedwater….nothing new under the sun….but this generation has taken things to a whole nother level…..and not ascension but descension….kinda worries me and comforts me at the same time because I will be sure mine are above par
In 2010 men wear denim spandex, otherwise known as skinny jeans, and pass it off as fashion.
^^^This was the first thing i thought of…i also thought of one or two people that you & i know…#shots? lol
By decree of greek deference, I’m asking either Peyso or Most to drop that “degradation of the black family” or “social norm deviation” theorem to hypothesise or theorize on this subject.
^^^ROTFLMAO
This is happening with young women too…i think it has to do with the media, lack of parenting, parents being not much older than their kids, and a lack of big mamas or sensible grandparents…Let me cut up in public in front of my parents or grandparents & i knew what the business would be when we got home or behind closed doors. Folks aren't scared anymore nor do they care.
There are some great parents/grandparents out there but, unfortunately, we are seeing the fruits of those that aren't so great. That's just my thought though, i could be wrong…*shrug*
Great post Streetz
I had a healthy fear of my parents and God growing up, and I know that saved me from a lot of wrong paths. Nowadays though consequences aren't real, I mean, there is a local school district no longer automatically failing kids caught cheating. Instead they get an incomplete WTF?! and a do over.
But I also remember that crap about stuff going on your permanent record and subsequently learning that those little threats were really empty. How was this on topic? *scrolls up* Oh the fear is not present. Nor are the real life preparation consequences.
With that said, I look at some of my classmates and what I see as a warped sense of entitlement. they grew up spoiled and now don't understand why they can't have it their way. Then I look at some older generation folks who don't own up to their responsibility for their circumstance and realize that none of this is new. Its just remixed, and as I get older I see it more clearly than before.
Agreed! I see the warped sense of entitlement in some in my generation and of course after…its sad
"Let me cut up in public in front of my parents or grandparents & i knew what the business would be when we got home or behind closed doors."
-when u got home/behind closed doors!?!??? Shooooo your parents were like the Huxtables huh?! Can we just say clean up in aisle 5 because momdukes was quick with the backhand and she kept it moving like nothing happened.
my parents were big on keeping things in house & keeping up pretenses…i didn't cut up in public so i was lucky/smart
The other question should probably be: "What is the "Black society's version of a REAL MAN?"
I'm an immigrant (22, moved in last year from Nigeria) and upon trying to adapt to American College life (parties, girls, etc) I noticed a real strong social division/connection between me and my African-American Brothers. . .I mean, like the girls for instance…some of the ones i tried dating were not feeling the prepy dressing I had on, the politeness i most times exhibited (apparently I didnt have enough "street swagger"), or my profound interest in Current affairs of the world. . .I have gone out with 1 or 2 and it all went good, but its usually foreign females that end up getting my vibe well…
My point here is if MOST of the expectations(from the media, rough environment) from the immediate society of a young black male is to be "swaggerific" in a street way, not care about college or some form of higher education, then How can we define a REAL BLACK MAN and how to act like one?
Yeah. About this…
I feel like [the few days after I read a book addressing how Black men and women can build stronger relationships] posts, topics, discussions around the topic of men and women and their shortcomings have increased. As far as the b!tchmade men, I see too many instances of it, went through one recently and I'm kinda done addressing it. You can't give people correction when they're not even trying to talk to you. So mehh, whatever. But I know there are some good ones still out there. So you won't catch me saying "N!ggas ain't sh!t"
B!tchmade women? Oh yeah, they exist. They're blaming Black men for
everythingthe supposed death of chivalry, blaming them foreverythingthe reason they're going to date outside their race andstill blaming them for everythingliving by the mantra "N!ggas ain't sh!t!". These b!tchmade women are mostly to blame for the stereotype of Black women being "b!tches" "the root of all evil" and "a pain in everyone's @ss & a thorn in my side".And as a Black woman, I've had it. Because I don't fit into any of those categories, I'm tired of people around me saying stupid sh!t like that. And then when asked why they feel the way they do, it's because one no good idiot f*cked up his/her perception of Black wo/men. It's a sad sight and I honestly don't know what to say anymore sometimes. I love my Black men. And my Black women need to show them some more love. Black men need to show us some more love too.
But as for these b!tchmade individuals, they can all eat one.
I think many young men have communication skills that had once been reserved for women because they don't know better. Most of them had no GOOD examples of upstanding mature men coming up. If you're raised around men who do men shyt, they will steer you into following in their footsteps. I have a friend who has a teenage son. It seems like once a month, he's telling a story about making sure his son stays on the path to manhood. I don't believe this is really an age thing. These people seem to be on the wrong path to even ever mature into the type of men from back in the day (prior to the mid-70's).
Also, when women are raised around decent men, their expectations in adulthood will be for men to behave as the ones who raised them behave. They have been raised by mothers who were always in survival mode. As a result, many of those mothers had very negative outlooks on the world and passed those outlooks and survivalist views on to their daughters.
I can tell y'all don't like Streetz when folks don't hop at the opportunity to straight attack men for malfeasance in the streets after he opens the door.
I will say as a preliminary comment; men ages, 25, 30, 35, 45, 55, all have different opinions about younger men, as in men lesser than or equal to their age.
My grandfather, (born in 1906), ran away from home in S. Carolina at 15, owned a home by 19, had children in his early 20s… that he took care of. I don't know not one 23 year old who is equipped to do that, even if they are well respected, put together and have all their manners.
I'm sure all of our families are full of stories like that because a young man was EXPECTED to be a MAN. There were few respectable options for him to do anything else. Manhood and womanhood were agreed upon constructs. Roles were roles.
the fact that young men resort to gun play and layin they seed everywhere without standin up as a father shows they have no regard for human life. It's sad. Funk the game B.S., thangs are out of control. Young men need to stand up. Havin big boy toys don't make you a big boy
Nothing more to add.
"For the stupid motherfuckers wanna try to use kung-fu
Instead of a Mac-10 he tried scrappin'
Slugs in his back and that's what the fuck happens"
–Biggie Smalls
I posted that cause it's real. Don't know what high school yall bammas went to; I went to school wit some real killaz. Bring a knife to a gun fight and see what happens. Can't blame the youngins for playin the game the way it's played.
To Nigerian dude: Welcome to America. Nobody is impressed by your attempts to educate and better yourself. Get money, Get Pu$$y is really all you need to remember. When you get out of school and make paper you will get all the girls you want. But for now you just another broke scrub. And young girls are always gonna go for the more exciting dudes das gettin money and doin gangsta ish. Das da nature of females. Not sayin it's right. But das how it is.
The only thing that kinda bothers me about youngins today is that a lot of them really think racism is dead cause everything comes so easy to them.
I gotta agree with you on that point. There is no such thing as a fair fight in the hood. It didn't exist when I went to school, it doesnt exist now.
Depends on when you grew up and what demograpjhic we're talking about.
When it comes to school, that was my context. OF COURSE in the hood there are no rules. Once again if yall didnt goto HS when I did you probably grew up in the "gun or die" era. It was few and far between (school wise) in those days.
I agree on that last point — but they will find out that racism does exist…recently it happened to my 15 year old when a cop knocked him to the ground for "walking too slowly" after a football game (some short muscular white cop).
It was a learning experience for him…it will happen to every black male eventually, it's called life.
No skinny jeans in my house…
As much as this is a generalization, it is in some ways correct. There are always exceptions to every rule, but it saddens me that this is a rule to begin with.
It wasn't like this where I was growing up so learning it now… just *smh* constantly.
Additionally, yes Streetz women also fit here. We call them babygirls…
I just wanted to repeat this causIe MAN is it true!
"The only thing that kinda bothers me about youngins today is that a lot of them really think racism is dead cause everything comes so easy to them."
I'd add that they see a few more Black people in positions of power and don't understand the structure of racism and the structure of the power systems that promote it; bit, I think, that's part because Black parents don't know and part because all their schools teach them is Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks & MLK, Jr … and now they WILL have to include Obama.
The sad thing is I keep running into "men" who don't know or just don't want to be men. When did we get this generation of guys that throw in the towel so easy? Where are the "James Evans" type men that will work at the carwash if they have to in order to provide for the family? *sigh*
And yes,alot of them think racism is dead, it's not dead, just more subliminal. I still stomp a hole in my sons to try toget them to be men but as a woman, it is hard to raise a man. And that ladies and gents is probably half the problem….alot of our men are being raised by women alone….they have the tools to be men they just don't know how to use them properly.
I've said it before and I will stress it again.
A woman can NOT raise a MAN. And I'm saying this coming from a single parent household. If we are blaming the young generation of Black Youth for their shortcomings, us Men have to look inwards.
For the guys I know like Streetz and Most, they do their parts in steering younger men (including me at times) in the right direction. There is such a lack of Black Men doing their part in young boys life, they are bound to follow each other like sheep to the tunes of the media and other ill-advised topics.
I agree. A woman can not raise man. At all.
Truth.com
And the last paragraph……….. You Betta Preach!!!
It's time for MEN to take back their position/place in the community because these young BOYS out here today need yall to lead them by a positive example which is something WE can't do although you see many WOMEN trying.
D,
You're not really that much younger than Streetz and I. We're all the same generation – so though I appreciate your appreciation, don't think of it as us trying to guide you, more like steel sharpening steel. I take from you as much as I give – no mo.
But yeah I feel you. Single Motherhood has been both a blessing and a curse for people of color.
saying things like a woman cannot raise a man is sexist and it spreads hate. it's also false. sometimes a man cannot even raise a man.
a woman can raise a man, because we as humans are powerful beyond imagination, and sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
I think it depends on how you define 'raise'. Can a woman prepare a man for the world to the point that, when he leaves her house he is readily equipped with everything he needs to survive and thrive. Yes. Happens all the time.
But some aspects of manhood you are either born with the capacity to teach yourself, you learn from another man, or you just do without.
Some of our brothers are not born with the capacity to teach themselves, and do not a real man around to teach them… those brothers are doing without and sometimes it shows.
a woman raising a man can make sure that her son has those traits by providing positive male reinforcements in his environment. but do not get it twisted, those men are not raising that boy. the catalyst is a mother who sees the need for have those positive male role models in her son's life.
J,
Don't get it twisted, my mother raised two helluva sons! But even she admitted that there were things she didn't relate to or prepare us for because she didn't understand. There were other male figures in our life, and I can't say my pops was totally out the picture.
It was an attack on women anywhere, and I appreciate those moms making it happen.
I'm calling shenanigans!
I know that there are a lot of fundamental pieces that would be missing from the puzzle when a woman is left to raise a son on her own. That said, it is nowhere near impossible to raise a respectful, strong, masculine, (insert positive adjective here) male all by yourself as a woman. Married couples have been f*cking up their kids for generations. In fact, parents that do everything right (well, as much as anyone can) have had f*cked up kids. One of the biggest douchebags (fits this post to a T) I know is practically the only man I know who was raised by two wonderful parents. On the other side of that coin, some of the best men I know were raised in single family homes or filtered through the foster care system.
All any parent can do is try to provide their child with the best possible living environment and make the best of whatever situation they are in. You can do all of that with the white picket fence, the strong masculine father who is also loving and sensitive, etc. bla bla bla, but in the end your kid could still end up a piece of sh*t.
"and will stop at nothing to tear down a mans character for the thrill of the pum pum"
i'm 23 and i've def. noticed this alot…some guys love to sit and talk to me about other guys as if thats suppose to impress me…i hate that w/an undying passion…
Interesting post. Kudos to the blogger who wrote this *Claps*
Before we get too self righteous. Remember, kids today are a reflection of the world we gave them.
We told them gay was OK. So they all "bi-curous" and lesbian. And wearing tight jeans.
We carried guns. So they carried guns.
We sold drugs so they sell drugs.
We married the dudes with the money so they follow the dudes wit money.
We gave yall Lil Kim so now you got Nicki Manaj.
Our government cheat, stole, assassanated and genocided its way to the top.
Todays children are the product of 30 years of Reaganomics.
So don't blame the kids. They are what we made them.
Excellent point! They are a reflection of those before them.
Like I always tell folks when they complain about some neos, "the neos are a reflection of their prophytes". Same rules apply.
Nothing To Add… I just want to help mentor the next black males of the next generation
Great Post!
It's all love brotha streetz BUT #ChillOldHead! lol
I think we're just getting older man. It's always easier for older folks (generations) to look at the youth and shake their heads like they were never young and foolish.
Additionally, every generation thinks the generation after them is going to be the end of the world but somehow the world keeps right on spinning. I also know my dad thinks I'm an idiot because he's told me on more than one ocassion. Although he tells me less, which means with age I've become less of an idiot or he just got tired of repeating himself. I will say THIS quote:
Thanking my father every day for the blueprint to run with
is crucial. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of young men (and women) don't have this benefit anymore. I, too, had a father figure – a great one at that – to guide me in life and show me how to be a man. I feel this is lost on too many young people. Still, this generation will be ok once they grow the "fuuuudge" (c) A Christmas Story …up.
Word gonna end in 2012 anyway. 2017 for black folks. You know, CPT.
*dips*
Word gonna end in 2012 anyway. 2017 for black folks. You know, CPT.
^^^^^DEAD!!!!
LOL @ WIM
Let me say this: I have been on the other side of this argument. For those in Greek Organizations, you know the feeling of older greeks coming along, telling you that you aint never gonna be like them, and how what you do is wrong. Sometimes its a challenge to ascend above their accomplishments, sometimes its hate, sometimes its people holding on to the past and being ridig with the change in times.
I mirro that to my discussion today. I'm not "blaming" kids. Yes I know that Im getting older and see things through a wiser eye, however certain characteristics whether in 1906, 2006, or 2206 should be consistent. The basketball stars of the 60s are way different than the stars of today, but the special ones, the HOFers all have those same core characteristics that makes them a cut above the rest.
We are LOSING (not loosing) those core characteristics today. Look at Charlie Villanueva. This cornball tweeted about trashtalk on the court when KG was right there for him to say something. This is cool? Bitchassnees like this has been around since Eve #swindled Adam to nibble on her fruit. So has the core characteristics. I see a deficiency in this core and I'm venting.
Maybe this is a wakeup call to me to get out there and affect change more.
Can't agree on your basketball analogy. One thing about the old school is that everybody was a shooter. But after Jordan everybody wanted to drive through the lane and dunk. America lost in the Olympics cause they didn't have any shooters. You only got like a handful of pure shooters in the whole league now. Watch them old NBA games. Everybody on the court was draining 20 footers.
Sorry had to jump in on the basketball analogy. They game is not the same.
It isnt about the "game" its about the qualities that made them "Winners" and "better than their peers" You don't overstand what I'm saying.
"Maybe this is a wakeup call to me to get out there and affect change more."
Agreed. As I've gotten older, I've considered participating in some mentor/volunteer programs or the like. My only hestitation is that I don't consider myself much of a mentor or even a role model but perhaps it's because I know myself too well.
I mean I do have a degree, haven't been to jail, haven't murdered anyone, and don't have any kids out of wedlock. That's got to count for something, right? RIGHT? *nervous laugh*
I mean don't get it twisted. I aint a killer but dont push me! Don't let this suit fool you! Fo-five, click clack, patty wack! pew pew! #ThugLife
Sorry about that, you know these kids will test you if they see you slippin. I heard the above in a rap song somewhere……..gotta represent for the suburbs.
Yeah, I'm in a BGLO and not too long ago I had a conversation with an older gentleman who made a comment about what's wrong with the younger guys in his frat nowadays….It's tough out here! But, you have some valid points …some that my girls and I speak about often :). And the weakness of men is wreaking havoc on women!
Word gonna end in 2012 anyway. 2017 for black folks. You know, CPT.
IHate U for this!!!!
I'm gonna say that I don't think things have changed that much since my teenage years. Even then, there was no such thing really as a 1-on-1 fight. People got jumped, shanked, or hit with trash cans. I can co-sign on the gun violence escalating. That does scare me about today's youth.
I remember people internet thugging back in 1998 in AOL chat rooms. However, with the advent of all this social media, there are so many other platforms for people to let off.
It's interesting. As the world evolves, certain groups manage to devolve. Makes you wonder how far we've really come.
"It’s interesting. As the world evolves, certain groups manage to devolve. Makes you wonder how far we’ve really come."
I see what you're saying…
Like my father would say, "There is nothing new under the sun." Basically, the more things change they stay the same I guess.
Don't most "kids" follow this same pattern? Reject the generation(s) that came before by doing the exact opposite. Back when I was in HS/college our jeans sagged [I wore a belt, but still baggy], it was cool to be a hyper-masculine thug who sold drugs [even though you tried borrowing my notes in Soc Theory 101], and we expressed ourselves through crazy hairstyles [high top fades] music [militant/gangsta].
Now kids wear jeans tight enough to cause male camel toe, it's cool to be some type gay/bi/emo hybrid-man, and pretty much every kid is sporting dirty lil Wayne dreads and listening to gar-bahj on their iPods.
So glad I grew up in the 80s-90s era and not today.
I do find my self SMH at today's youth…particularly in regards to education. Every generation has its fads and out right f*ckery, that I can "get over"…but seeing how stupid these kids are…I just can't.
Most of them don't take anything seriously and have no sense of responsibility. I wanted to die when I had a senior tell me he's never written a research paper before. Not only that, it never occured to him to ask his teacher for help (I do not believe that she didn't at least give him a guideline for writing the paper).
My parents didn't play that sh*t growing up. We had education toys and were pushed to read. I remember the word "bored" leaving my lips around 8 years old and my dad sitting me down and teaching me how to write a letter. At 12 I told my uncle I was bored he tossed me a copy of Roots. So, I just can't get w/ or understand this lack of desire for knowledge.
We're all doomed…. :0[
http://hypervocal.com/news/2010/see-me-after-clas…
Good article.
I think education starts at home though. If you make education a priority in your household, buck as they may…children have no choice but to fall in line. It's only so much the school systems can be blamed.
Ah, I had a feeling the trolls would come out on this topic.
I've been trying to figure out what I want to say about this for a while. A big part of me thinks this is like the "today's music sucks" conversations each generation has. Old folks used to singing negro spirituals thought Jazz was the Devils Music when it came along. Then, Jazz enthusiasts thought Rock and Roll was blaspheme. Rock and Roll fans think R&B is soft. All of them hate Hip-Hop.
I'm a huge Jay-Z fan. I guess I feel like, if I say that 'Lil Wayne' is not even in the same zip code as Hov, it's the same as me tacitly agreeing with my uncles who said Hip-Hop ain't even music. There is no spoon.
Does this make sense?
I thought Wayne had moved into "almost old head" status. Soulja Boy is the dopest out…
People hate me and my opinions of hip hop, past present and future. My Zune has some of everything on it.
Yeah it does. Any form of Social Progression is most times met with raised eyebrows… Lil wayne is even technically a hip hop old head Considering the fact that he's been in the game for 10+ years
Can the admins unblock Shakiesha so that she can go in on JusttheT.
Sometimes, the only way to fight ignorance is with ignorance.
Shhhh….Maybe if we ignore him he will go away… O__O
Exactly
Dang I suck at html code… smh
I love how JusttheT hides behind his untanned AVI and spews pure cockroach shit. I have no time to entertain this fool.
We are all African THAT IS ALL!
True. True. . .
I love this post for two reasons:
I feel like many people demonstrate piss poor behavior these days. People aren't even honest with themselves, better yet their counterparts. I'm completely and utterly disgusted with people's level of integrity.
Secondly, I recently addressed a guy about his b1tcha$$ness. His response was woven with so much b1tch made materials that I completely washed my hands with him.
Sadly, I think many men think many things are acceptable when they're simply not. It's so sad that there are some black men with a twisted idea of what it means to be a man.
I appreciate my daddy more than ever for being the man he was, because I know what it is and means to be in the company of real men
I've been waiting for this post…
Let's ignore one's dress for a minute because it's really not important.
The condition if the "young" black male is one where many are stuck in their rites of passage. Many children are forced to raised themselves regardless of the presence of parental figures or lack there of. So what if both biological parents are present, that doesn't mean the child is being raised by them, just ask their teachers. We need better parents->period.
Then people follow-up by saying that the current parents didn't have model parents. And this blame percolates up the tree of generations.
Well, instead of blaming generation after generation, let's change our understanding of not what we think we see in front of us, but rather the lenses in which we use.
For example, when a person says "A woman cannot raise a man" they're speaking a half truth. True because with the right constraints it works, false because it is used without a understanding of that approach and the implications. That statement of the need for gender specific raising stems from times of static gender roles. Hence, when you apply strong gender roles then OF COURSE a woman can only teach a girl how to be a woman since her father will not know how to function in the traditional womanly role. The traditional family gender role approach takes another steps and says farther implies single parent hood will not expose the child to the mechanics of a gender role. Well this is false. Need examples? It is well known that a single parent takes on both roles (traditional) of the parenting. So the child (by a good parent) is exposed to the mechanics of the role.
Now one could argue the importance of a child seeing someone older of the same gender doing something. Therefore the child would immediately make the connection between their self and that older person (e.g. big brothers/big sisters program). However, remember this is all in reference to traditional gender roles. Moreover it assumes that parents teaches a child adulthood, which makes little sense. In fact, I say that males learn 'how to be a man' later in life since there's no timelimit on finding one's identity. Only at a certain point does a person actually start to internalize 'what I want to become.' Many of us do that later 20s. With that said, one can EASILY discern not only what to emulate from older people, but what NOT to emulate (which I say is most important). So we see many cases of men saying "My father wasn't around but I want to make sure my child never has to go through that."
This issue is else where. And else where is with the decisions of the individuals to not parent properly (for whatever reason). Those individuals are the ones who children have children AND they don't enforce/support the parenting of their newly acquired grandchildren BY their children.
Good Comment. Definitely some things to consider!
Blah Blah Blah, folks always talking about the good ole days. Like things have totally changed.
Care to elaborate?
This just comes across as one of those, "I'm better than you guys" post, and lacks any significant evidence. But then again, what person is going to come out and say, "my generation should have/needs to get their act together".
This generation can't be too far from their fathers/brothers/uncles mentality "completely".
Thats why its an op-ed piece and not a fact checking article. Its MY opinion based on MY experiences. this isnt Black in America, Its Single Black Male. I could say your comment lacked significant facts that it was more than a "your post sucks" comment, but I didn't right?!
On to the next one!
Streetz, I appreciate your dip into the realm of non relationship based posts. Unfortunately I have very little to add to this discussion. Enjoyed reading the post none the less.
Part deux…
So many children end up raising themselves. There are more reasons than the very subjective "bad parenting" thing-a-ma-bob.
Let's look at culture and general male struggle. Given the condition of society of the past, the traditional male gender role within the AA community, transformed into "We had it bad, but I made it, for my family." The symbol of being the bread winner, given the condition/treatment of AA males at that time became synonymous with surviving society induced hard times. So in order to have the greatest honor, to be able to provide, one must survive the hardest of conditions then make it out. In the minds of the younger, being a man means to provide NOW. So regardless of lack of education, being able to provide now (just like the "old heads") give you glory (and food on the table). How that can be done? Sale drugs… When this happens, if there's a male figure on the house and the child is able to provide for the family, then the child then disregards the older male figure. The child considers them himself to be the man. Therefore disciplining the child by the father is almost impossible. The child then considers himself to be a man given his actions to provide for his family above and beyond the older male in the house.
I'm not saying every child has some noble idea providing for his family and wishes to take upon transitional gender roles. I'm just saying, this is where it started. Then comes in media's glorification of the "We had it bad, but I made it, for my family" situation. So in families where fathers are not present or participating, younger males take hold of the flashy symbols that come from "the struggle" as some attempt to follow the bastardized construct of what it means to be a man.
FIN.
Duh this an opinionated entry; At least you can admit it is just nonsensical rambling.
I am an African American male, 100% man, with my associates degree in business and furthering my education to bachelors in business administration(not to mention I will have my certificate in paralegal studies) I have a family with my fiance, who has produced a 3 year old daughter and soon to be born son. I speak to my Daughter even when I am not sure she will completely understand everything maybe get the idea but not get it until she is older. I treat my fiance with respect and will raise my kids with common sense, dignity and respect, those traits i hope they carry with them their whole lives. we must be willing to pick up ourselves and work hard for everything we have and hold dear, no matter what is happening to others, its starts with the individual and no matter how much we point out about others, their is nothing we can do until those who need help and want a better life do it for themselves, but we gotta give them something to look forward to for even that to happen. glam life in hood life, the money, sex and drugs are more appealing why because it takes them to some alternate reality. why would anyone wanna work hard when they have have that, hell why would they want to leave that when even some make it seem as if you get to the top or positive side of life its even more corrupt and less free. something has to change and its mostly with thinking and getting people to realize success can be achieved with hard work and determination.
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Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on
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