****** Admin Note ******
As you can tell, I’ve changed the look and feel of the entire site.  There are a lot of reasons for the change, but its not over.

As always, I want to hear from any and everybody with thoughts, gripes, and complaints.  My email box is always open at sbm@singleblackmale.net


Be on the look out, this is the 3rd installment, in a series of 6.  While, i’m going to take a break to bring you some other material over the next two weeks.  I will be back.  However, I thought that this was a pleasant way to go into intermission.  In this part of the series, I take a concept that we all know from childhood and show how it pertains to our lives today.  What are you hoping to gain when you reach Emerald City, or will you just get over it and obtain it yourself?

Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That’s a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven’t got: a diploma.
Wizard of Oz: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Wizard of Oz: You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you’re confusing courage with wisdom.

No Brain

See Also:  The Key to Staying in Love

Dr. J – So what’s got you all upset today?
Black Girl Lost – The guy I’m talking to, I love him.
Dr. J – Love is a strong word for a married man…. who lives with his wife and child.
Black Girl Lost – You don’t understand it’s complicated.  He only lives there with her because of the kids, they live separate lives.  He just doesn’t want me over there because she is crazy and sometimes slips out on girls that he is dating.
Dr. J – Does he let you call the house?
Black Girl Lost – Oh nah, he doesn’t pick up his phones after 9PM because his daughter is sleep and he doesn’t want to wake her.
Dr. J – *blank stare*

I am amazed at times at the logic of the opposite sex.  I’m fairly sure this is a two way street, women probably wonder about the logic of men.  The point is, and should always be, that you either do not have a brain or you just have gotten to the point where you never use it.

No Heart

Kanye West – Heartless

You complain about how many men have done you wrong, and so now you are this cold woman who hides her feelings deep inside.  How do you expect a man to love you if you don’t show him you have a heart?  Get over what that last guy did to you.  He did that to you, but not every man should have to deal and put up with your ish.

See Also:  The Get Over It Series: You're a Ho, and He's not

No Courage

You would argue that you’ve lost all faith in men.  I would argue that pretty soon they will lose all faith in you.  If you don’t have the courage to step out there and be seen, you can never be found.  You’re scared to actually do three things; you’re scared to go out there, you’re scared to be there, and you’re scared to leave if it’s bad.
You feel like if you go to that speed dating event, or you sign up for match.com, or allow a friend to hook you up on a blind date, that you’ll appear desperate.  Companionship is a part of life.  I mean, people always say you shouldn’t go looking.  And I agree with that…. somewhat, you might want to put a little bit more thought into your love life than letting something come to you when you least expect it.  I think that way at least you will have something that you appreciate that fits you well.

Some women are afraid of relationships.  This is funny to me.  This is how you let a lot of men get away with craziness.  Somehow all of us men had a meeting and we came up with a plan to get you guys to hate titles just as much as we do…. AND IT WORKED.  Tons of people will be in full fledged relationships, but never want to add the title.  They damn there live together, they do everything together, they are sexually exclusive, they do ALL of EVERYTHING you would in a relationship, but… if you ask her, so do you have a boyfriend?  No, he’s not my boyfriend.  *Dr. J gives her the Negro Please Award*

See Also:  7 Completely and Absolutely Un-Dateable Men

Lastly, when women stay with men that they should leave it exhibits low self-esteem.  Like for real, i’m sorry, but when did you notice that he was a dirt bag?  Was this before or after he slept with your sister?….. Who is 15.  Or you are in a relationship with a guy who is verbally abusive.  Any of these are signs that you need to leave.  But in reality, some women just need to have a man.  They remember how hard it was to get the guy the first time and so they never want to let go.  You have to have the courage to get over that guy and move on with your life.

Let this blog be a reminder to three of things you should always make sure to keep in your tool kit.  I believe they are important in helping you get your MacGyver on in your relationship.  Anyone who thinks they can get anywhere in life without these three things is tripping.  Even though the Wizard of Oz gave three excuses for why you can live without, know that the Wizard of Oz was actually a loser.

This is brought to you by the Get Over It Series, don’t try to flip this back on men, it’s about women, not men.  “It’s a thousand you’s it’s only one of me.” – Kanye West

SBM Readers, i’m turning the floor over to you.  Are you looking for someone to give you a heart, a brain or even some courage?  Or will you step up and take it?

-Dr. J