"See ... your knees don't even hurt!"

Yes … it’s one of those posts!

I know it’s taboo for a black man to badmouth the “Strong Black Woman”.  I mean, it’s done everyday almost, on the internet and in real life, but we will always be given hell for saying anything bad about the SBW.

Well, first and foremost … I love Strong Black Women (generally speaking).

I have always been a fan of independent women.  I love educated women.  I really love black women.  And I love women who have some proper sense of self worth and know how to get sh*t done on their own when it needs to be done.

With all that being said, there are somethings about the stereotypical Strong Black Women that downright scare me.  There are some traits that fill my insides with cold bile and make me want to recoil in horror as I see them do certain things.  There are somethings that are common to many (notice I didn’t say all or majority) of Strong Black Woman that I just can’t stand.  And since it is my turn to express my feelings to the world … let me tell ya about it

I highlighted the word stereotypical because it is every woman’s decision whether or not she will fall into the stereotype or not.  Just because you are a SBW, doesn’t mean you have to act like the one portrayed in flawed popular media.  Thank You.

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Dresses Me in Her Image

I say this because it has happened to me.  I’m not talking about the person who buys you something that they like to see you wear, or gives you suggestions on what might look good on you.  I’ll even give props to the woman trying to “upgrade” her man’s wardrobe.  But when you have a woman who refuses to go out with you, or throws a temper tantrum when you don’t buy the tie they picked out (she ran out of the store), or refuses to let you dress themselves (these are real stories people) … that’s a problem.

Calls Me “Uncultured”

Those of you who know me know that I do love caviar on water crackers (it’s really good) … but I also love Funyuns with my malt liquor.  I refuse to give up the cheap and low end things I enjoy because of their perceived “classlessness”.  I am a articulate, educated, and well established man who has achieved … stuff, and if I want to listen to Wacka Flaka … I don’t want to be insulted.  I earned the right to go hard in the paint.

Wants me to move into her Single Family House

This one actually deserves a whole post on it’s own.  For whatever reason, there are a healthy amount of land owning women that assume at some point in my life I want to move into their house.  And I don’t mean condo or townhouse, but a real life house with a backyard.  It’s hard to explain exactly why this is emasculating … so I won’t (now).  Just believe me when I guarantee you there are many men who feel like me.

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States her Independence every other day

Yes … I know you finished school on your own.  I know you are a partner at your law firm.  I know no one has given you any handouts.  And I know you work harder than most men at your level just to be treated fair.  But honestly, I don’t give a f*ck.  We are dating and I am not interviewing you.  I am not your younger sister looking for motivation in life and I am not Oprah looking to put your story on TV.  I just want some head and to be happy.

Won’t give me head on her knees

Apparently there is a growing group of women who find the act of pleasing their man while on their knees demeaning.  WTF?  When it comes to bedroom antics, suck it up (pun intended) and take one for the team (not intended).  Stop being so proud all your life.

Ok …

Random, yes.  But you know there is truth in my words.  There are a lot of women who run away from the stereotypes listed here, but after having dated more than one women embodying several of these … this is more than just random griping of Black men.

Men: What did I miss?  What other attributes of this mythical SBW exist that I didn’t capture?  Let your pain be heard

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Women: Is this you?  Do you agree with one or two things on this list?  Do you have a friend that is this stereotypical creature who is running amok?

– SBM aka “I got some knee pads for ya” aka “You can independently decide to hum on my b*lls!”

P.S. – This isn’t just a black thing!