I've been here before

This week we had some great posts from the Jacksons (Slim and Dr J). While Slim spoke on the propensity to forgive, Jay pontificated on the marriage rates of the attractively affluent women in this world. So we get to Wednesday and Young Streetz is up to bat. So much material to build upon, and yet, so little time. As I perused the comment section for the good Doctor’s post, I saw a comment by Il Duce that immediately sparked my interest:

Me personally, I avoid pretty woman. They can’t ufck,”

To tell a quick story: I overheard some lady friends talking about granting knowledge to gentlemen. One, who is a very attractive and facially beautiful woman, spoke as if she was average with her mic skills. She didn’t really do anything “nasty” (swallowing, spitting, etc). I started laughing, and when she asked why I simply replied “I can’t believe it. You’re one of those chicks that’s too pretty to give head!”

As funny as this sounds, there is an unfortunate truth to the above statement. in my worldly travels, I have encountered the s*x of legends and nightmares. I have been shocked, elated, distraught, and disappointed. One of the biggest disappointments has been with women who are otherwise GORGEOUS, who turned out to be lame ducks in the sack.  That’s a major letdown, as your fantasy that you create in your head is immediately destroyed. Men erroneously correlate physical beauty with s*xual acumen. Just because a woman “looks good” doesn’t mean she’ll “fcuk good”! Bad head is even worse. Boring head? I’d rather do the Cat Daddy and Dougie on hot coals and thumb tacks! Me, being me, I need answers! So, I thought it over and tried to make sense of how physically beautiful women could be wack in the sack and brain dead while trying to give head:

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They never had to give head because they look good

I know this is especially true with younger people, but I theorize that from teenage years (14-18) is when a woman would learn that if men found them attractive, they can manipulate them to do anything from carry their books, to buying them food, to doing their homework. When they start dating, and start being s*xually active, it’s very conceivable to think that, since they are considered to be aesthetically appealing, that they can get by on saying “I don’t do that” and a dude will just do this before they attempt to crack the code to their lovebox => ¯\(.__.)/¯

Furthermore, if they do look good, they won’t feel inclined to do more than missionary and the occasional doggystyle (for birthdays, bar mitzvah, and crossing days of course), as you should be content with slaying the cooch of a fortunate looking woman. FCUK THAT!! Practice makes perfect, and resting on your laurels will make a dude look to sample from other buffets, or get tired of your cooch QUICK and look for something more exciting.

Pretty Women will give head but only as a chore not for enjoyment

If there’s something worse than boring or bad head, it’s getting head from an unenthusiastic woman. No one is forcing you to do it, so don’t act like we’re your mom at the dinner table forcing you to each that damn spinach that she paid money for, and cooked for the family! Women will constantly talk about men who don’t know how to please them, or don’t know their bodies. Well ladies, we don’t care if you like Halle or Stacey Dash, don’t heavy sigh, roll your eyes, or act like this is the worst thing ever. Give brain with heart and desire or give us FREE!

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I know that some in Dr Jay’s post alluded to the fact that a lot of dudes, when choosing mediocre s*x with a dime or mind blowing s*x with a 5, will choose the dime every time. I offer a third option: Go to the ATM and get DOLLARS! I’ll also say that if s*x is the ultimate goal, good s*x at that, then that 5 is gonna get MUCH more action than that dime! Keep it real fellas, keep it funky!

So what do you think? Is there merit to this theory? Ladies do you know women like this? Are men just as bad? Fellas, have you run into this before? Now remember we aren’t talking about relationships, beauty on the inside, or anything like that. This is strictly physical. No swindles!!

Staying ahead of the game,

 

 

 

P.P.S – R.I.P. B.I.G!!!!!