B*tch I'm a MuthaEffin MONSTER!!!

I was reading blog posts all over the net this week… OK I’m lying. I actually have been out of it; grinding & working on real life business. I managed to catch the comment discussion on Slims blog about e-groupies and the thirst. As always, it was an engaging conversation. One of the comment homies, SmartFoxGirl, in response to some questions posted, gave her opinion of the SBM writers off first glance/write, and had this to say about yours truly:

“I saw some you tube video of you talking about sports or something.You’re handsome but you seem mean. I dunno why but you do. You could be a douche bag too…who knows and who cares. You’re a good writer though.”

Now, some people might want to fight her have been upset if she kept it real and said that about them, but not me. Its something I’m unfortunately very accustomed to hearing.

Situations like that innocent comment exchange remind me that in life, perception is everything. Based on my classic Pharaoh-with-stunna-shade pic (and a youtube video I shot years ago), she judged that based upon my looks, I could be a complete jerk, while Most never gets ridiculed on the internet and yes I’m hating was commended based off of his writing and perspective on topics.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard that someone thought I’d be arrogant, conceited, brash, douchebag off first glance, I’d be rich. The only thing I can control is my personal interaction with people. Once you get to know me, you’d know that I’m the complete antithesis of those negative perceptions (although I am arrogant, as anyone with high esteem of self will be, just not super arrogant).

Think about the scantily clad women you see in the club. The first thought that comes to mind will be “ho”‘ “jumpoff” or some other loose woman adjective. Think about the man who may admit to loving Project Runway or who speaks softly. Some people may question that man’s sexual orientation. Even if you’re not the type to judge, humans all judge instinctively. Societal norms, coupled with cultural upbringing, has us form an idea about people. That’s why non verbal communication is so important to grasp. The clothes you wear, your grooming, and even facial expressions will tell the person looking at you a story, even if the story isn’t true. I’d side eye a dude who went to a job interview in Jordans and ball shorts, regardless if he was best qualified for the job. Books are judged by covers initially, and defined by content.

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We also do that in the blog world. A blogger’s writing style and content will make him/her susceptible to scrutiny. If a blogger/writer has typos, grammatical errors, and inconsistencies in their posts, you’ll say that they sound uneducated and juvenile. I write about fitness and people may assume that I’m in crazy shape. I’m not out of shape, but far from a swimsuit model! Since we all write about male-female relationships, some may assume that we either are experts, have groupies, or that we are whores. Whore is a relative term right?

Seriously, these perceptions are why a lot of writers choose to remain hidden (even Slim was a fictional character before he unmasked, and SBM/RCLS  remains hidden). We want our writing to speak for itself, and want no outside factors influencing the opinion on the writing. These perceptions we’ve dealt with all our lives, that’s why they say kids are cruel. The dilemma in front of us, is whether  we try to control perception, shrug it off and be us, or find a happy medium?

I accepted the perceptions about me, and I just let my words and actions speak those perceptions away. I personally don’t care to cater to everyone because I love myself, know my faults, and choose to work on them and remain genuine. All I can do is keep perceptions in mind, but don’t let a potential miscommunication deter me from being me.

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What are your thoughts on perceptions? Can it be controlled? How do you handle it? Do you judge unconsciously or on purpose? What is the best way to control or combat perceptions? Bloggers/Writers do you try to skew your writing to avoid being looked out a certain way?

I’m not a douche I swear!




P.S. – So SBM Fam, I decided to put out an e-Book. It’s a project I’ve worked on in my mind for about a year and I finally found the motivation to complete it for real. I’m keeping the main details under wraps, but it should be cool. The homie Dr Jay put out the criticalled acclaimed and downloaded Free Ass Laundry e-book, so support that too. I’m currently on detox status right now but keep your eyes open! Thanks and I’m looking forward to your continuing support!