The Email

Im a 21 year old college student in the South. I’m cute but I’m a virgin and I don’t know how to necessarily tell a guy about my virgin status. I haven’t been in many relationships, and I’m not saving my virginity for marriage just a real relationship no FWB bullshit. But I can’t convey that to a guy because of course he’ll want to be on ‘lets be in a relationship’ tip just to get the goodies. And most guys seem turned off by a virgin anyway. So when dealing with a guy should I even tell him I’m a virgin? What should I say when of course the topic of sex even comes up?

-R

The Response

Stop frontin and give up the pums! LOL I’m just kiddin like Jason….#unlessYouGonnaDoit

Seriously, the virgin struggle is something that women have dealt with for years. That awkward moment when you are alone and before anything gets real, you have to tell a dude “I’m a virgin and I’m not having sex”. Obviously there’s pros and cons to the decision to let a dude know up front your stance on giving him the master key to your sacred love muscle.

At 21, You should be in your 3rd-4th year of school, so you know the game already (or should). Especially going to school in the south (and ESPECIALLY if its a HBCU)!!! Having s*x in college is easy, random, and frequent, so when dudes see a woman who’s a virgin, they may have pause initially. This all depends on their true intentions. if a dude is just trying to smash, he more than likely will leave you alone and just be “friends”. If a dude is looking for a relationship, but isn’t trying to wait for you to give it up, so he may pursue a relationship hoping that he wears your defenses down. Rarely, you will get a dude who doesn’t care and will be fine with waiting until you are ready.

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Two things you have to watch are 1) becoming the hobby chick, and 2) Dudes who will just hang around until they hit, and then bounce on you. I won’t lie to you and say that i know how to tell, you have to use your woman’s intuition and scrutinize the dudes you choose to date. It’s pretty easy to get a carfax (report on a persons history) if you’re looking at campus dudes. If you aren’t than you have to be even more thorough with your examination.

I would say the best thing to do is be 100% real. Let the dudes know you’re a virgin and your stance, just like you wrote to us. They either have to love it, or leave you alone. Simple. Don’t compromise your stance for loving. Trust.

Readers – What saith you? How does one tell potential lovers that they are virgins? Have you experienced this? Any and all comments appreciated!

 

 

 

 

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