You got to go to sleep eventually, sucka.
Ladies, I was going to try to placate any anger you might have by titling this post How to Survive a Crazy Relationship but let’s keep it real, I don’t date men. Therefore the term ‘Crazy Relationship,’ while all inclusive and less antagonistic, is simply not accurate. Please note that this post is not meant to be misogynist but if you feel like it is, all I can say is “my bad” and you probably just mad cuz you know you crazy. WIM still loves you though.
Moving on.
I happen to like crazy women. I’ve written about some of my experiences with them here and here. Like cigarettes, crazy women aren’t good for your health and I have been trying to give them up for years. In the meantime, I figured I would share some of my patented survival techniques. I hope these easy to follow steps will prevent our male readers from ending up on Snapped or First 48.
5. Avoid Her. The simplest survival tactic is not to engage the enemy in the first place. Once you realize a woman might be crazy it is best to abandon camp and return to the safety of home base. Now you may have to change your phone number, place of residence and find a new job. Sure, this might seem a little expensive but in the long run it’ll be lot cheaper than replacing your car windows and renewing a restraining order year after year.
4. Calm, Crazy, Calm. As a man, you are ill equipped to match the emotional dexterity needed to match the craziness of any woman. Your need to be logical will fail you every time. Your best offense is a good defense, which is why in 98.9% of circumstances no matter how crazy she gets you should remain calm. You have to be the voice of reason.
However, randomly and without warning, during one of her crazy episodes you should out crazy her crazy. This will give you some breathing room and it’ll feel good to get some of that craziness you’ve been holding in out of your system. More importantly, this will keep her on her toes. She doesn’t know if you’re going to react calmly or crazily to whatever she throws at you that particular hour. Over time, this will pacify her craziness because she might not want to risk you going crazy too. She’ll keep some of that excess craziness internalized, where it belongs.
3. Do Not Follow Her Into Crazyville, Population 1. A popular crazy woman tactic is to try to do something to invoke the same level of crazy in you as is all too familiar in her day-to-day life. After all, what you call crazy she calls Tuesday. AVOID THIS AT ALL COST.
Women will attempt to lure you into Crazy Town and you might think you can find your way around but you are mistaken, friend. She has lived in this one-woman village her entire life and there aint a GPS system in the world powerful enough to help you safely navigate the treacherous roads of Crazy Town without grave consequences.
2. People Go Crazy, Not Normal. If for whatever reason you have decided to be with a crazy woman, you need to accept that crazy people don’t go normal. No amount of love, affection, and reasoning is going to make her any less crazy. You need to avoid going crazy right along with her. There is nothing sadder than watching two crazy people having a screaming argument in the middle of a grocery store over white or wheat bread. We have lost a lot of formerly sane, good men to this battle.
1. Seek Jesus. My friendgirl actually recommended this one when I told her about this post. Like most women, she believes you shouldn’t deal with a crazy woman in the first place. But hey, haters gonna hate.
You can’t control matters of the heart and if you found love in arms that happened to be attached to a crazy woman, what can you do? That’s why a strong relationship with Jesus couldn’t hurt. Besides, you’re going to need someone to confide in after your friends start ignoring you around the 25th time you text them “This [female dog] is crazy! I’m done!! I’m for real leaving her this time!!!”
Are you a crazy person? Have/are you dated/dating a crazy person? WHY?!? Have any additional tips, questions, comments, concerns?
Lastly, don’t forget to nominate SBM in the Black Weblog Awards. Targeted categories for us include Best Design, Best Group Blog, Best Sex and Relationship Blog, Best Lifestyle Blog, Best Blog Post Series (Please use THIS URL), and Blog of the Year. Thanks in advance for your support!
Look here man, this is whole article is SOLID advice. I dated a woman who was GORGEOUS, thought she was the one. My stupid ass ignored ALL the red flags and breathed fog on the window and drew hearts as she drove me to crazyville.
I found out she was still married, jobless, homeless, legally certified, cheating with the guy she told me was her brother and cheating with her ex-girlfriend.
I began to rationalize some of this stuff. "Oh its not that bad…"
So the minute i sought Jesus, he was like "nigga, WTF are you doing, i taught you better than this" and i swear on my son, it was a switch that flipped and i let her go IMMEDIATELY.
One year later i got an email from her *delete*
"breathed fog on the window and drew hearts as she drove me to crazyville."
*HavingAVisual&CTFU*
But hey you live and you learn, but homeless tho??? Damn!!
<blockquote cite="comment-309214">
DMario Isajurk: I found out she was still married, jobless, homeless, legally certified, cheating with the guy she told me was her brother and cheating with her ex-girlfriend.I began to rationalize some of this stuff. “Oh its not that bad…”So the minute i sought Jesus, he was like “nigga, WTF are you doing, i taught you better than this” and i swear on my son, it was a switch that flipped and i let her go IMMEDIATELY.One year later i got an email from her *delete*
I read your comment about 5x because I have to scroll by it every time and on my FIF read through I saw "and cheating with her ex-girlfriend." …word? This 100 word paragraph is like a 3 hour epic Lifetime movie. *cough* Not that I know anything about Lifetime movies *cough*
Glad you survived and made it to the other side brother. For what it's worth, hope you learned some life lessons that helped you grow as a person. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?
Or so they say…
I can just hear you telling your firends for the millionth time…
"Man, but she's GORGEOUS though!!!" followed by their most viscous sideeyes.
You've got my vote for comment of the whole first quarter. Hilarious.
<blockquote cite="comment-309214">
DMario Isajurk: So the minute i sought Jesus, he was like “nigga, WTF are you doing, i taught you better than this”
Haha! This is too funny. I didn't know Jesus uses the "N" word. Where can I buy a shirt that says, "Jesus is my nigga…Go tell it on the mountain"?
While I understand the rationale completely, I still shed a tattoo tear for Halle. Ol' girl has become the poster child for crazy women – meanwhile her roster has gotten off scott free. I am pretty sure every. single. man that she was involved with has contributed to her not-so-level headed thinking. #justsayin
Beyond that, I think the post was great. And in my experience Crazy is gender neutral! I have shaken off quite a few crazy fellas in my dating timeline. That experience taught me #2 the hard way (no pun intended)
"I still shed a tattoo tear for Halle"
"That experience taught me #2 the hard way (no pun intended)" L.O.L. <–for these reasons, I simultaneously despise and admire you!
Welcome to the party, nice to hear from you.
II will tell you this, I firmly believe, it is the man that brings out the crazzy in the woman. If you have a crazzy chick…check yourself. It's something you are doing to provoke this behavior…I see it all the time, some people go thru so much with a man that they finally snap. Dudes, are always quick to cry "crazy"..but, what did you do? WIS, I want to hear about all the crazy sh*t you do to make these women go apesh*t…and why do you keep attracting "crazzy" women?
All women are capable of crazzy…we are driven by emotion..so, in our feelings we are liable to do anything…I have done some embarrassing things..that I look back on wonder about my own sanity..but, I realize the situation was provoked…and the blame can't put all on me…I'm just saying..check yourself fellas…
yes!Yes!YES!! I agree Queen T, I believe men bring out the crazy in women as well. Although there are women who are just plain crazy out there, the majority of women are not. Men do stupid stuff and expect us not to react.
<blockquote cite="comment-309229">
QueenT: II will tell you this, I firmly believe, it is the man that brings out the crazzy in the woman. If you have a crazzy chick…check yourself.
My response is two fold:
1) I'm glad you brought this up early in the comments. Personally, I think it is a complete copout – although used often – for women to say men drive their “crazzy.” I mean, how ridiculous would it sound if men said something like:
"I firmly believe, it is the woman that brings out the abusiveness in the man. If you have an abusive man…check yourself. It's something you are doing to provoke this behavior."
See how
crazzyillogical that sounds? Anyway, with that said, I do agree with you that one party rarely shares the entire blame. However, I think both parties should check themselves, so to speak, not just the man.2) I linked within the blog (second link) why I date "crazy" type of women. I'm sure there's a deeper psychological reason but I bore easily and I'm not easily moved emotionally. Therefore, I am usually more interested women that can invoke emotion in me and keep me from getting bored. I'm not saying this is healthy and I've had to temper the type of women I date because my preferred "type" isn’t what is always best for me. That's an abbreviated explanation. I may elaborate further in a blog down the road. A comment section isn’t really conducive to all I would need to cover.
Yes, I agree..both parties need to check themselves..but, I rarely hear a man talking about his part in the dramatic re-telling of a "crazy woman situation"….they just seem to go on and on about how crazy the woman was and what she did…no mention of their role in it.
Fair enough but I think that's indicative of most story tellers. For example, when you tell the story of getting in a car wreck do you tell the part about how it was all the other persons fault or do you tell the part about how you weren’t paying attention and texting on your phone when they hit you, thus you share some of the blame? Doubtful.
Unless someone prods you to reveal more information about the root cause, rarely does the other side of the story come out. Plus, even when people are aware they share the blame, doesn't mean they're willing to admit it to anyone beyond themselves….hell, sometimes they can't even admit it to themselves. lol
Just sayin.
Yes… There are some male f*ckwits (shout out to Max) that will attribute everything to be the woman's fault (or conveniently leave his part out). Every other man on earth uses what he did as justification that she IS crazy.
At the same time, I don't like the idea that every time a woman goes crazy, it's preemptively considered to be some man's fault. Eff that. Just like Chris Brown is always responsible for his actions regardless of what Rhianna did or didn't do, a woman's craziness is simply her craziness ALONE. She's always been crazy. Franky, there's some crazy women f*ckwits.
Lol, sooooo you're saying here that ya'll basically agree, just to different extents…
1) From my interpretation, your post today http://tinyurl.com/3z49w8g outlines that you don't think that this –> "I firmly believe, it is the woman that brings out the abusiveness in the man. If you have an abusive man…check yourself. It’s something you are doing to provoke this behavior.” is really that outrageous of a statement. 100% accurate? No, but we all play a part and if she weren't there the second time, she couldn't get hit again. (INCREDIBLY oversimplified, but that's not really what the post is about so I'm trying to stay the course #NoBush)
2) And you already conceded
and linked yourself, of course 😉that it is partially something within yourself leading you to these loca chicks…While I think Queen T went a smidgen overboard, she's simply giving another perspective on the same issue…which no one can really argue with. Of course we are responsible for our own actions and relationships, and of course the other party is also responsible. No one is blameless or the entire post would be irrelevant-if we're powerless, what good are tips? We're all active participants in our lives, and therefore culpable for some part of all results, positive and negative.
…back to humor now, I hope…
+1
This is so weak Queen. People are in control of their own actions and "the devil made me do it" is the excuse of immature peons. Don't be that way. Don't be.
"…People are in control of their own actions and 'the devil made me do it' is the excuse of immature peons…"
Amen there… Just because I've been with crazy femles doesn't mean that I do ish to drive OTHER members of the opposite sex crazy… Just because I've been through incredible amounts of ish with females doesn't excuse me in doing ish to a good WOMAN… (smile) I do have SOME intelligence…
WIP, I feel you on trying to give up messing with crazy women. I HAVE turned my back on crazy females… No more… They may have the bomb-a$$ pu$$y; they may "keep life interesting"… BUT, I've learned some time ago that a "boring" women with mid-grade pu$$y is better…in the long run…
Did you read my post where I said I was embarrassed by my actions..and I even said that I questioned my own sanity…clearly, I am not saying "the devil made me do it"….I did it. I am just saying the action was provoked….granted, we are all in control of our actions…but, sometimes, some people/things can make you lose a bit of your self control…I'm just keeping it 100….if nobody here has every lost control..then you are a better person then I am….and I commend you.
I laughed all throughout #3. "Afterall, what you call crazy she calls Tuesday… "LMAO! But seriously someone does need to write a post on crazy men. Stop acting like you don't know one…
But seriously someone does need to write a post on crazy men.
Absolutely!!!
#Cosign
Can I co-sign an entire article. Let's see… #cosign. Yep. I especially love the numbering system you employed.
I am the Jeff Van Gundy of handling crazy people and leading them towards victory. A lot of this advice can be for your crazy friends of the same sex. I had my fair share of crazy women in my life. I date Latinas, a lot of them … crazy as Hades. One thing I will say is you gotta make sure you not dating a chick like B. Marshall's wife, I could deal with a Halle. I don't think she crazy, she probably just mad controlling and whatnot… I could put up with that for that uranium p*ssy right there.
Crazy note on a Friday. I know two different dudes who used to date Nia Long and Stacey Dash. I hate to break it to cats on a Friday, but both them b*tches is crazy as hell. Like as all holy hell. Chick Nia never picked up her phone when he called, but if she called him and he didn't pick up, he would get angry voicemails about him f*cking other b*tches. Chick Stacey was just as crazy, she never made plans just showed up and acted a fool. It was crazy too, like imagine you chilling at someone's crib and Stacey Dash pulls up outside … except she angry as hell. The look on your face is like, "OH SH*T!" And both of those chicks get drunk as skunks when they go out and then start acting all pre-Madonna, but they not pre, they like post. Because in all honesty without photoshop only chicks out here that be killing em is Mya. Hold that.
Lightskin for the win.
PS – Cassie Ventura can do whatever she wants to do. At least three dudes, one of them white, told me that they been in Carol's Daughter THIS WEEK.
I can see Nia Long being crazy. She seems like she get's flip out the mouth…and Stacy Dash is extremely gorgeous but I don't think she is the brightest bulb in the box…I've heard her in interviews…so, I already thought they were both crazy. lol
Damn, J. You should have just held back with that info. Stacey is crazy? That just hurt my heart. Like Queen, I can kinda see Nia gettin' outta hand, but Stacey. I feel like a need a drink.
Nahh, I can see it (Stacey) that is– she looks like the type that be sitting in her car behind dark sunglasses watching you leave your house then climb through your window, snoop around then cook you a meal butt naked while setting off the smoke detector. IJS…. but I am surprised J said Nia though.
It's really just best to assume all women are crazy and work from that world view…there will be much less disappointment. And the more attractive, the greater the propensity for crazy #Fact.
I can see them both being crazy, same with Lisaraye
Lisa Raye is bat sh*t. You can tell too… she though she was going to be the Prime Mistress of Turks & Caicos. Come on buddy… come on buddy… She is the type of crazy who goes into a situation and wants to change it up to fit her. You was going to marry a guy who is the Prime Minister of an island where bad chicks go every weekend to get away and relax but they don't ever bring their boyfriend … and he wasn't going to cheat. I got this theory about Turks & Caicos… it's like this:
Married Man: Honey, i'm going to DR this weekend with the fellas.
Married Women: Oh that's great, I had been meaning to tell you i'm going to Turks & Caicos this weekend with the ladies.
That's so messed up that you guys disliked that comment so much that it got hidden. Pretty much that's a first timer for a writer on the site. So i'll take that badge on 4square. But…
1) I thought a Knick fan would like it.
2) Ain't nobody saying you can't mess with Stecey or Nia, just putting that out there.
3) Stop hating on Cassie. What is people's issue with her anyway?
Damn Dr. J. You know how to make people dislike you. Lol you do this for kicks and giggles though.
I particularly like #3. I think as sane people, we like to think that sometimes, we can go crazy a little bit just to show the crazy person in our lives how it feels to be with a crazy person. Never works, always backfires. First, they have way more practice at being crazy than sane people do, so, they're way better at it. Next, if you go a little crazy, it only opens the door up for them to go to that next level of crazy, a level of crazy that you're not really willing to reach. Last, if you're not crazy, then pretending to be crazy is hypocritical.
On another note, the first step in dealing with a crazy person is to acknowledge that they're crazy. I think we like to hold crazy people to our own logical standards. That's not fair to them. At least they're being consistent. You gotta expect them to be a little bugged out and use that expectation to inform your action.
Lastly, behind every crazy person, whether a man or woman, there's usually a person that did something egregious to make them crazy.
Good Post Wis.
Oh, and if you're really crazy, like, for real for real have issues – seek help. Black folks never wanna go to the doctor, especially head doctors. Unless she's a super-head doctor, in which case, we in there!
<blockquote cite="comment-309249">
TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld: I particularly like #3. I think as sane people, we like to think that sometimes, we can go crazy a little bit just to show the crazy person in our lives how it feels to be with a crazy person. Never works, always backfires. First, they have way more practice at being crazy than sane people do, so, they’re way better at it. Next, if you go a little crazy, it only opens the door up for them to go to that next level of crazy, a level of crazy that you’re not really willing to reach. Last, if you’re not crazy, then pretending to be crazy is hypocritical.Oh, and if you’re really crazy, like, for real for real have issues – seek help. Black folks never wanna go to the doctor, especially head doctors. Unless she’s a super-head doctor, in which case, we in there!
I #CoSign your entire comment but especially the two paragraphs I'm quoting. Like most other people, "crazy" people hold back too. Naturally they don’t want you to see their FULL spectrum of craziness until you're in a relationship or already put a ring on it. So when you try to "act crazy" too they actually like it. They're like "awww we can relate." Because in reality, like you said, what logical people define as crazy, crazy people define as normal. It's like that whole "white privilege" debate, except it's crazy privilege. Most crazy people aren’t aware they’re crazy. Think about that folks…
And to the other paragraph, I agree whole heartedly. This post was fairly lighthearted but if you or someone you know has a real problem, of course I believe you/they should seek help. I have a lot to say about this subject but I'm not ready to open up to that level….yet
ION EVEN KNOW YALL LIKE THAT BRO.
*slowly backs up off the website*
"Lastly, behind every crazy person, whether a man or woman, there’s usually a person that did something egregious to make them crazy."
I knew TMIMITW would break it down.
Cosign…
(smile) Not from where I'M sitting, GirlSixx… Quite a few females seems to jump on the "a man can drive a chick crazy" and "a man can make a good woman bad" bandwagons but FAIL to cosign "a woman can drive a dude crazy" and "a woman can make a good man bad". Meanwhile, I'm, as usual, in the shadows and background observing that the truth that "a woman can drive a dude crazy" and "a woman can make a good man bad"… (smile) Seen both TOO many times…
<blockquote cite="comment-309486">
Symbiotic Loner:
(smile)Not from where I’M sitting, GirlSixx…Quite a few females seems to jump on the “a man can drive a chick crazy” and “a man can make a good woman bad” bandwagonsbut FAIL to cosign “a woman can drive a dude crazy” and “a woman can make a good man bad”.Meanwhile, I’m, as usual, in the shadows and background observing that the truth that “a woman can drive a dude crazy” and “a woman can make a good man bad”…(smile)Seen both TOO many times…
I agreed!! Did you see my cosign to TMIMITW sentence? He said man or woman, I know woman can cause some men to act as if he need to do a month in Bellevue psych ward.
I agree that a person can MAKE you crazy. When I was in college I used to date this guy who was seeing me and another girl at the same time. Rumor had it that he used to physically abuse the other girl and they had been seen fighting in the street as well. He and I never had those types of problems, he never even raised his voice at me. Obviously the other girl used to bring out his crazy…or vice versa. Sometimes the chemistry is just bad.
BINGO!
"Hey
You're crazy b!tch
But you fcuk so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
You're crazy
But I like the way you fcuk me "
There's something to be said for crazy…
I love it!
I laughed my way through this entire post. Perhaps because I am a crazy woman, but there are LEVELS of crazy, im serious. I'm crazy but also very reasonable and understanding…
yes that dynamic is possible.
I still believe in Ms. Berry. She wasn't always like this and if you can recall she's gone through it!!!…… from abuse to infidility suffered at the hands of MEN, so Halle MAY BE crazy but it's apparent that the men in her life drove her to it (Wesley SNipes, David Justice, Suge Knight, and Eric Benet, etc.) come on now if one wasn't whupping her out and busting her eardrums the other one was cheating.
I don't know too many women who could remain SANE (#NoSaneN85) after that.
Sex with crazed women just seems to be more exciting since you don't know what that crazy lady will bring to the (bedroom) table. Sigh, it seems like (last night) yesterday the last time I encountered this not-so-rare species.
#icant on this today.
I'm weighing whether or not I'm gonna KILL a psychotic woman for some ish she did this week…the police had to be called type ish…over a guy that denied her application for a relationship and now she doesn't want to see me with him.
Guys, if a woman is cool with just effin, cool beans. If you KNOW she really likes you, leave her the HELL alone…so that you and the person you do choose to be in a relationship with won't have to deal with her crazy psychotic a.ss.
Crazy woman play sane women VERY well. They lie so good that they can make you think you're crazy. At the first sign of crazy, don't excuse it…RUN!
This B**** is about to make me catch a charge…
If you see ^^—> that pic on the 11 o'clock news, know that you heard it first on SBM.org…
"…At the first sign of crazy, don’t excuse it…RUN!"
You're a wise woman… CAN'T overemphasize "don't excuse it"… The preceding was a public service announcement…
I think I'm pretty sane. I also think everyone has potential for crazy. Luckily for me, I've never reached my breaking point. I don't even know what it would be seeing as I have a very high tolerant for bullshit. I've never understood why crazy women always seem to come out on top. It irks me to no end. Especially when my male friends call me to complain and still stay with these women. It's mind-boggling to me.
Avoid her? "Once you realize a woman might be crazy it is best to abandon camp and return to the safety of home base." LMAO! Sooooo, who ya gon' date? This is sound advice in theory but worthless in reality, kinda like telling a woman not to date a man that says he's "Not ready for a relationship". It's just not feasible. No one would be dating anyone if we followed those two theories. lol
Doh, my bad for the double post.
The voices made me do it…you don't disobey the voices.
ooh yes! I feel like hella guys aren't ready for a relationship. ….Maybe its because I'm young and messing with young guys, but damn! I'm not trying to marry you or lock you up in a dungeon I just wanna be in a relationship with you! And then they still wanna "kick it" …That ish will make ya crazy!
The best way to deal with a crazy women is to cut her off. Don't call, text, email, facebook, or even send smoke signals. Don't ask about her through friends, just let it go. Because if she see's a door open or thinks you still care, you will turn on the crazy. I do believe that some men provoke crazy because they think it's cute or exciting. Nothing is cute about broken car windows or a scratch on your car. I'm actually happy that I don't exhibit these qualities. I don't like being in situations where it feels like I'm not in control of my emotions.
5. Avoid her? "Once you realize a woman might be crazy it is best to abandon camp and return to the safety of home base." LMAO! Sooooo, who ya gon' date? This is sound advice in theory but worthless in reality, kinda like telling a woman not to date a man that says he's "Not ready for a relationship". It's just not feasible. No one would be dating anyone if we followed those two theories. lol
4. ROTFL – I love your variable ratio reinforcement schedule! This post is killing me!
VR works though. See: Vegas2. "If for whatever reason you have decided to be with a crazy woman, you need to accept that crazy people don’t go normal."
2. "If for whatever reason you have decided to be with a crazy woman, you need to accept that crazy people don’t go normal."
Yeah, all that. And twice.
Good ish WIM, good ish.
Still laughing…like a crazy person…
I'll agree with the idea that men are often responsible for pushing chicks over the deep end…particularly when The Dickmatization of the Negress (or any woman) is involved. Let's not act like that's not at the root of this most of the time.
I think part of what determines the crazy factor is how quickly that person goes over the edge. A person that flies off the handle because a glass broke is much different than a person who flies off the handle because they caught their significant other cheating for the 3rd, 4th, or 5th time. The other thing about "crazy chicks" is that they're often over-committed. They will often do all of the right things in excess. The other side is that they'll do the same for the wrong things…which we won't like so much and will label them for.
Crazy chicks do make excellent girlfriends…when they're not acting crazy.
"…The other thing about 'crazy chicks' is that they’re often over-committed. They will often do all of the right things in excess. The other side is that they’ll do the same for the wrong things…which we won’t like so much and will label them for…"
Hmmm… Doesn't the same hold true for the so-called "thirsty" man? (shrug) Just saying…
It could. I don't know any thirsty dudes. They move in silence and via direct messages.
"All the right things in excess" I would greatly appreciate a post about this….I just might be guilty of that, maybe it will give me some insight into my singleness….
Yeah, he totally pulled my number on this too –> "The other thing about “crazy chicks” is that they’re often over-committed. They will often do all of the right things in excess." Not that I think I'm crazy…but by this definition… *slips shoe on and it's fitting pretty perfectly* Guess I gotta wear it…
I don't know…
See I think I have been unjustifiably been labeled crazy/head-case/emotional and I truly believe that currently the only root to this problem is compassion or the inconsideration of compassion. I hate ragging on men but here we are, in this blog, questioning ourselves out of sincerity and goodness, and also the selfless nature attached to romantic relationships. Its disheartening and funny at the same time. I hope when my intended falls for me…he stops at nothing to make me feel special.
I understand that we are complex beings with emotional and psychological wires that make vulnerability and sensitivity sometimes very difficult to expose. But I also think honesty (sometimes brutal), courage, respect and personal/self awareness are what is necessary for men to appreciate women PERIOD.
I had to stop caring what men think about my mental state, life is easier when I am not second guessing myself. There is no love in anxiety.
I try to be a clear communicator but men have a difficult time communicating sometimes and so…my feelings get hurt in that way. I always feel like communicating would be better than anything else. I always feel like respect and friendship could remain if men actually used their balls to say and do what needs to be done(for themselves if single and for the relationship when partnered up with someone). I think this whole generation is full of men and women who have Mr. Intentional mentalities and we are too afraid of consequence or don't think about the consequence. So we either do nothing or act callously when being pro-actively forth coming is all that is necessary for a good break up with less scaring and head trauma (metaphorically speaking).
The reality is men and women need to keep their feelings and intentions 100% pure. And just maybe, we won't all be violating the very nature of our being by loving people who are not what we desire (think about that) for the sake of it, or lying to ourselves about what we have to offer someone who is not on our level, spiritually, mentally, physically, or emotionally. People need healing. I think that's the only way to address "crazy".
Lastly, "over-committed" and "the right things in excess" sounds amazing. I wish it was happening in reverse to women more often. Or consistently. Then maybe there would be an amazing balance in what we all try to put into relationships.
<blockquote cite="comment-309229">
QueenT: II will tell you this, I firmly believe, it is the man that brings out the crazzy in the woman. If you have a crazzy chick…check yourself. It’s something you are doing to provoke this behavior…I see it all the time, some people go thru so much with a man that they finally snap.
A man doesn't make a woman crazy. A man can pi$$ a woman off, but if she's crazy, she's always been crazy. Her craziness may be latent, but it's there and a man didn't make her that way. A reasonable woman won't go crazy.
If a man hits a woman and she pulls a knife on him, that's not crazy, that's being pi$$ed off, defending herself, and is justifiable. A woman pulling a knife on him because she thinks he's cheating or because he put the toilet paper on the dispenser underhand is crazy.
Exactly. Just looking at the act itself (like pulling a knife out or breaking a car window) doesn't help ascertain if a person is crazy. It's how it fits into a context. If a man cheats on a women, she doesn't have to act a fool. A normal woman would be upset and leave OR forgive him. But 10 times out of 10, a crazy woman would want to hurt him or damage his possessions yet STILL strive to be with him. I don't care if I didn't call the day after I smashed, it's crazy to slash my tires.
"…If a man cheats on a women, she doesn’t have to act a fool…"
(smile) If a woman cheats on a man, does SHE expects him to act a fool?!?!?!?! I had a situation where I was JUSTIFIED to act a fool on a woman who cheated on me… (smile) Instead, I played the bigger man route… To the right, to the right… Heard that karma stabbed her in the cl1t big time shortly after I walked… (smile) Still crying…NOT!!!
The moral is I chose NOT to act crazy… What good would THAT have done??? (smile) Besides, my dark passenger wouldn't want to go back in…
You put the toilet paper on underhanded?! Have you NO SENSE!?! http://gifsoup.com/MjQ1NTUxMQ
😉
I'm not really crazy, I just play like that on the net…
#LiesWomenTell
Sure you aren't!
😉 you'll never know for sure *eye twitch*
What A Post…
Learn Out To READ People. People. Even though most people live a lie… Most people are not con artists…
Thank You…
what 0_o….I am sooooo lost on this one,
I enjoyed this post!
Two thoughts?
What characterizes crazy? What is the definition of crazy? I was wondering this while reading the post. I feel that I have an extremely low tollerance for being in the presence of what I deem crazy, which is any comments or actions that are illogical. Since this is what I deem illogical, I recognize that for some people, things that seem illogical or abnormal to me are logical and normal for some one else. My friends who act crazy, I love them for who and where they are, but I treat them with a long handled spoon. I love peace and tranquility too much to be around crazy too long.
While reading this post I also thought about the ex Chicago Bear's football player who's pregnant girlfriend was killed by his crazy real estate agent who he was sleeping with as well as other women. An example (on the extreme side but an example none the less) of what happens when you get involved with (read sleep with) a woman that is CRAZY!
http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nfl/news/story?…
LOL @ DMario Isajurk Hilarious
1) Leave Halle alone! I'm still team Halle and don't believe she's crazy just because she has had bad luck with men. (Some folks just have bad luck in general)
2) Black men overuse the term "crazy" as far as their failed relationships with women are concerned. "Aargh! She did something that bothered me. She's crazy!" LOL You know truly crazy people when you meet them. (I know first-hand since I am closely related to a certifiably crazy chick)
Red flag #1: They usually don't have any real friends. Make note
Food for thought…
I am still paying for my 26 year involvement with my ex-wife & her family. They/she is ADHD-PI (scatterbrained, messy, no follow thru), BiPolar (nasty malicious & vindictive) fully Borderline Psychotic Personality Disordered. This is supported with medical diagnostics. These women are hell bent on taking my children to hell in a jet plane. One of the biggest regrets & the fuel for my own feelings (total disgust for her & her family) of this waste of time IS echoed all over these posts by equally disgusting females.. "they made us this way" B U L L S H I T. The most telltale sign of BPD is a refusal to take any responsibility for your own impact on those around you.
There are so many mentally ill women out there, about one in four. They ARE bad mothers, they ARE abusive lovers, they ARE NOT worth knowing at all. In various times in history, these sick individuals were dealt with in similar ways:
– In Salem, they were burned as witches.
– In England, they were relegated to asylums.
– In the Middle East, they are taken out & stoned to death.
In our modern Western society, they are put on TV (Kate abusing Eight, The Kardachian Crowd, Snooki & JWow of Jersey Shore) They need to be identified as mentally ill then medicated. Or better yet tattooed on the forehead (bio-hazard icon). Psychologists & psychiatrists instruct you to avoid them when possible. Whatever you do, DO NOT normalize the behavior, they are sick.
I dated a crazy woman and tried to justify it with this blog post: http://thedailygarriga.com/2011/09/14/five-signs-…
Eventually, I had to come to terms with the fact that she was bipolar. Plain and simple. I wrote about it here: http://thedailygarriga.com/2011/09/14/help-i-thin…
My recent post Inspirational Stories: Mark Herzlich
Angelique Picillo (Baker, Kindel) Naranon support on Yahoo groups ”..I feel lke I might need to find an anger management program because whenI get hurt my anger tends to turn towards trying to kill the person…” 5/12/06 #8835
http://www.west-springfield.ma.us/…/Feb.%202012/...
12-2214 1909 Domestic Disturbance
Feb 15, 2012 Arrest: 12-2214-AR Arrest: PICILLO, ANGELIQUE C…48 JANET ST WEST SPRINGFIELD, MA DOB: 11/11/1979 Charges: A&B (Assault and Battery)
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
“I wanted him to hit rock bottom so bad that when someone would make a joke like ‘hey I got a friend who would hurt him’ I was taking him seriously.I wanted his car destroyed..I wanted him hurt so that he could be in the hospital.. I put my son in harms way so many times by my driving or my yelling at him to get in the car faster so I could chase after Jason..I knew what I was doing was wrong and crazy……I used to get so upset that I would yell at my son and I would drive erratically or couldnt' function or thought of all sorts of things to get back at him..” 4/15/06 #8420.
http://www.gazettenet.com/news/…95/arrested-monday-pol...
Nov 7, 2012 – Angelique Picillo, 32, of 51 Ridgewood Terrace, was arrested at home Monday at 6:30 a.m. on a warrant..
Angelique Picillo (Baker, Kindel) http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo… “..I appreciate your candidness about wanting to punch him, in my case I have..and it got me no where..” 5/1/06 #8706.
Angelique Picillo (Baker, Kindel) http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo… ”..im suprised at myself that when I was mad at him i just said I was mad and didnt' try to attack and kill him….so I've made progress..” 5/16/06 #8933.
http://www.west-springfield.ma.us/…/Feb.%202012/...
12-2214 1909 Domestic Disturbance
Feb 15, 2012 Arrest: 12-2214-AR Arrest: PICILLO, ANGELIQUE C…48 JANET ST WEST SPRINGFIELD, MA DOB: 11/11/1979 Charges: A&B (Assault and Battery)
http://www.west-springfield.ma.us/…/Feb.%202012/...
12-2214 1909 Domestic Disturbance
Feb 15, 2012 Arrest: 12-2214-AR Arrest: PICILLO, ANGELIQUE C…48 JANET ST WEST SPRINGFIELD, MA DOB: 11/11/1979 Charges: A&B (Assault and Battery)
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…forgetting what normal boundaries are…still to this day I forget…what’s normal…I am ALLOWED to want to talk to him…jesus crud…” 4/19/06 #8515, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…I do not have one person supporting me besides my therapist and I even feel at times that if I get in one disagreement/argument with even a stranger I can’t handle ANYTHING with J…about starting over …although I’m 26 I have a whole sleu of health problems…and embarrassing ones…and I met this guy right after I left my husband…so I went from a failed marriage to a wonderful relationship to him leaving…its hard for me to open up about the embarrassing medical problems…and I still deal with that now…how can I possibly start over…” 4/21/06 1:59 pm, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “… J had a cell under my account on the family plan and all was well until he started running away…got it makes me so ill…in the middle of the night I went online to check the online call logs…had problems with their site and if I wanted to know I had to call, have to go through the whole deal on the phone, get a representative and then ask about calls…so for two months like 10 times a day…sometimes it made me happy cause there were none, but then when I would call later, I would nearly throw up cause they are always 2 hours behind…sometimes they would mess up they would not apy attention and give me a heart failure…” 4/28/06 #8646, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “… I want him so bad I read every little thing and apply it towards a sign that we are together…” 4/28/06 #8653, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…after me checking things a dozen times I realized that the info wouldnt’ change that fast…is there anyway you can block yourself from his accountor wriiting to him? I kow that sounds hard but that is what had to be done with me…a while back last year Jason blocked me anditkilledmeandfrustrated me but was the best medicinecause I drove myself crazy…” 10/23/06 #11632, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…if he was in my life I would still feel like he owed me it and would hav eto pay for eveyrthing I ever wantedfor the rest of my life…” 7/23/07 #16805, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “… I had to fight and they finally fave me morphine pills which did nothing…the only thing that would work was morphine IV…I have morphine in my cabinet right now…” 3/29/06 2:30 am #8075, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “I go to therapy, however I’ve had 10 years or so of trying to find the right one and walking out after I didn’t feel understood…when it gets real bad, I’ve even gone twice or three times a week…walking in feeling like I want to jump…” 3/27/06 #8000, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…I remember how CONSUMED I would be…it killed and relly interfered with my sanity…” 4/30/06 #8698, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…I went to my therapist yesterday and told her how I was ‘strong’ but kinda rude to J and she politely reminded me that my relationship with J and his relationship with his son is two different things…” 5/11/06 #8818, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
I put my son in harms way so many times by my driving or my yelling at him to get in the car faster so I could chase after Jason..I knew what I was doing was wrong and crazy……I used to get so upset that I would yell at my son and I would drive erratically or couldnt' function or thought of all sorts of things to get back at him..” 4/15/06 #8420, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…As far as using Blaise…maybe on some level…one level is that I am finally accepting he will fail me over and over so it’s like I need to tell him, so he can reject me, so I can get it through my fat head…but secondly a small part of me is thinking that there is no possible way he can reject a little baby that just last week he was so concerned about by a little tiny cough he had…” 6/6/06 #9305, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…today was a day when I was tryin gto hurt myself…after all the nasty things he has said anddone I asked him tocome let me have sex with me…” 6/27/06 #9725, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…HE should be scared to see ME because of all he missed…for months I’ve been desperate for him to come…the moment a little crankiness comes I fell like I’m having a heart attack…he said to me don’t worry Angelique, I’m not leaving…” 5/12/06 #8835, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…I’ve been scared of him…not physically but…I don’t wnat to live in fear if my partner will be there for me I want a lot of things in life andI don’t want ot wonder if I’ll be able to get them…” 6/15/06 #9524, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…if J hadn’t called the cops on me and made upa story last year then I would have kept on callinghim and what not…even after that I still checked for himo n the internet anddroveto seehim at drag racing…basically there was no way to find out about him…I had checked on him so many times it’s like it called to me…” 7/5/06 #9833, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…
Angelique Kindel (Picillo, Baker) “…today was desperate for me…it seems sometimes I need a positivedistraction to stopmefrom texting him…he ended up telling me to leave him alone…” 6/17/06 #9585, http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/naranonsuppo…