Kanye West had a point though.

 

[Dr. J is admiring himself in the mirror, while Reecie is laid comfortably on the bed in nothing but her red heels reading last week’s post from her BlackBerry.]
Reecie: “Listen to me, the situation is going to happen to one of you.”  <<<— this is rude. LMAO
Me: How is that rude?
Reecie: Sir, I guess you don’t know how rude you are, lol.  So it sounds regular, LMAO.
Me: Word!
(Source: A Night in Parisse)

Hi haters!  I’m back for more cash!

I was having a conversation with a friend once and I told her, “The fact is, I’m not really rude, I only do that because women think that, and then they get to know me and realize I’m not.”  There are several gimmicks circulating the world, but quite possibly the only analogy I could draw was that which happens on college campuses everywhere.  There was this guy at my school who was allegedly a known player or back in the NORE days, he was considered, Grimy.  I was younger than this cat so I watched him from afar, but the summer of my freshman year I ended up working with him.  He told me, “Oh that’s what you have to do, let people think you’re grimy, but then when the shorty meets you and finds out you’re not, you got her.” And that sh*t worked!!!  Man when people used to say I was grimy at school, I deployed a strict, “Any publicity is good publicity” rule and never cleared it up.  Girls would meet me, I’d take them to Olive Garden and it was a wrap.  (That’s cause negroes don’t date in college, they send out mass texts after parties that say, “What you doing after?”)

It’s the same exact thing with being rude.  Do you know how many people think I’m rude and then they meet me in person and they are like, “Wow he’s actually not all that rude”?

Yeah, I don’t know them either, LMAO.  So let me just say what I have to say today and get out of here.

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Why are Black men so rude?

1.       Because we can be – I reserve the right to say what I want, when I want, to who I want.  If your name is not the signature on my check and we are not f*cking, trust me, I don’t owe you squadoosh.

2.       We’re spoiled – When Remy Ma gets out of jail for shooting that chick who stole her money in the club, she will not have a record deal.  Shyne went to jail for shooting a chick in the face, #TITF, and he came out and he had a deal lined up with every label in the game.

3.       Because you won’t stop messing with us – No matter how many times Reecie texts me at work asking me what I’m doing after work, and I ignore it because I want to go holler at jawns at the local happy hour spot, The Park, she ain’t going to stop messing with me.  Not never, because her options are limited, and since at least I’m a consistent asshole, she can live with that.

4.       We’re not misogynistic, we’re just not pushovers – I’m not going to lie, I hate when people call me a misogynist.  It’s like calling a chick a c*nt.  There’s nothing I can really say as a comeback.  But I try my best.  I’ve never been one to back down if I felt I was right, I don’t find women attractive once I declare that they are birds, so they have no p*ssy control over me, which means … Mr. IDGAF is in the building!  If you say something I don’t like, expect a response that you won’t like.

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5.       We need to put y’all in y’all place – While Obama was giving his State of the Union speech, I was talking to my dude on the phone.  I had been drinking and I said, “I don’t know who Sputnik is, but I tell you one thing, that’s how we need to be with these jawns.” He felt me.  Time has come, Black men have been on the dead and locked up list at church for a minute, but now we coming up in the world.  Time to remind y’all who is the one true King.

6.       You need to know you can’t have everything you want – Sometimes I don’t give women stuff just because.  My mother said because is not a reason, but this is where we disagree on a lot of things.  I intentionally talk your ear off, walk with you to the bar, ask you what you’re drinking, and then order myself a drink and wait for you to buy your own.  Yep, just so you know that you ain’t that nice.

7.       Because deep down you actually love it – Women love men who get up under their skin.  They will tell their friends, “Arrrrggggg I HATE HIS LITTLE ASS!!!” But then all it takes is some eye contact, a hand on the shoulder, “drink this”, a few choice words, “Come on, you know me…” and all that anger goes away.  You like the fact that we’re a challenge, nobody wants to ride the kiddie rollercoasters at Six Flags.  They want to ride the rollercoaster that makes them think they might die.

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8.       It’s not only funny to us, it’s easy as hell – Do you remember how cats used to walk around the hood with water guns and the chicks said, “don’t get me wet” but they were wearing a white tee shirt, so you hosed their ass anyway?  Do you know how funny it is when you have a chick naked in your room and you take her clothes and throw them into the living room where your entire crew is watching Chappelle Show Season 2 repeats?  Maybe not, but I do!  It’s really easy to be rude too, basically all you are doing is thinking to yourself, “What would Mr. IDGAF do?”  And you know what, Mr. IDGAF is actually a part of you.

Y’all think I’m playing, but I’m not.  I’m being honest as Abe with this message.  In all honesty, a lot of Black men are rude, but they have manners.  I know when to turn it on and when to turn it off, so don’t get it twisted.  Do I feel a little bit of privilege because I’m an African American Male living in a big city, with a great job and lot going for himself?  Um… yes, that’s exactly why I did all the hard work to get here.  Do I apologize because sometimes I may offend someone by being rude?

“I’m not answering that sh*t.” – K. Bryant, who is not only the spokeperson, but he’s a card carrying member of Black Men Who Are Rude.