"Ain't nobody judging..."

Why is it that a white girl can have sex with as many people that she wants, but if a Black girl does the same thing she’s labeled a hoe? This was the question that I was faced with and I struggled with the best way to answer it. On the inside, I know the answer, I really do, but how to express that in words is very difficult. So I commissioned my brother from a different aunt, and since he’s still trying to become a doctor, I won’t share his name with you but we basically agreed that it comes down to the affirmation of the word, “Hoe.” Also, we agreed that a white male’s perception of a woman who sleeps with a lot of men is no different than that of a black male’s perception, he agreed that he still considers them hoes. But what was interesting is that he said that if you call a white girl a hoe, she takes it like a new badge on 4square, however, when a Black girl is called the same thing, she gets defensive.

I just want to rehash an important point here; this whole phenomenon has nothing to do with the men. For example:

Brandon: What’s up with Sam?
Matt: Nothing, she’s definitely not putting out.
Brandon: Oh my god, what is wrong with her?

Brevin: What’s up with Shavon?
Koury: Nothing, she’s not f*cking.
Brevin: Damn, f*ck that b*tch then.

You see? You can tell that whether it was two Black guys or two white guys they both categorize women the same way when looking for casual sex. Vice versa, you can imagine a conversation with these same two guys would yield a different tone and result if they were picking a wife. And that doesn’t mean that he won’t marry a hoe. “They say you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife, but I know plenty of married hoes.” That’s true, but it’s about how she went about being a hoe.

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“According to recent research from Stanford University, the majority of college co-eds are still having sex, with an average 9.7 sexual partners for men and 7.1 for women.”

But in my opinion, consider this math: let’s say a woman has sex with two guys each semester while in college, that’s a total of sixteen. And that’s ASSUMING she slept with no other guys, like nobody else on Spring Break, or that dude from High School, nothing, like nothing. So in reality, if a woman gets out of college with twenty bodies, it’s not the worse thing in the world. The question you have to ask yourself is whether she was a trifling hoe, or just a hoe. To determine that it’s very simple “Was she having sex with any of those guys at the same time?”

“Because there’s a difference between a chick who f*cks mad dudes, and a chick who f*cks made dudes at the same time … now that’s a HOE.”

To go back to the original point, I believe that if you tell a Black girl she’s a hoe and you mean it, then she’s going to get upset and she’s going to be concerned with ending that reputation as soon as possible. A white girl probably considers all those guys she slept with to be her boyfriend in some form or fashion. I’ll just be honest, I have white female friends who will call a guy their boyfriend on the day they started sleeping with that man, meanwhile, I have Black female friends who have been sleeping with a man for eight years and they still not in a relationship. I watched a group of white girls talking about the men in their lives and one straight up called the other a hoe, her response, “I have had relationships with all the men I’ve been with.” I didn’t know how that was possible but it made some sense. The important takeaway was that she didn’t flip out and jump across the table with a butter knife.

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Conclusive Note: Black women will spend much of their lives trying to ensure that they are never associated with the word, “hoe”, “slut” or “jump-off”. Meanwhile, white women will spend more time worrying about being associated with, “wife”, “girlfriend” or “mother”. It’s the same affirmation that plagues people across many categorical lines, such as, gender, race, class, and education. When you allow insults to dominate your thoughts and change your actions rather than focusing on your goals and the long term person you hope to be, you put yourself at a disadvantage. I’m not saying Black women should stop caring if they’re referred to as “hoes” or not, this is 800 words and not nearly enough time to explain why there are reasons why you should always be cognizant of your reputation. All I’m attempting to answer is the original question and the answer is; because you accept the label as being a bad thing.

If you haven’t already, please download my new eBook and mixtape, you can find the information here And it’s free, you have no excuse. If you have questions, or comments, please feel free to email me at DrJayJack@gmail.com

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