A tired rebuttal isn’t an ace in the hole, it’s an…

The best thing about the sex & relationship blog niche is the discussion. It’s the only niche that brings out men and women in such great numbers to share their thoughts in the same place. Regardless of if you’ve never had a boo or an earth shattering orgasm, sex and relationship talk is universally relatable. Discussions on which hair product reduces frizz the most or why one rapper’s punchlines are better than another’s, on the other hand, are not. So basically, it makes sense that this is what people choose to talk about. If you think I’m setting the scene for me to start b*tching about how we don’t wanna come together (ll) to discuss anything else, fear not.

Let’s face it though. Men run most of the popular sex and relationship sites in our vacuum of the blogosphere.  Both sexes come to our e-homes to read our perspectives, to challenge their and our thinking, to join the discussions, to be entertained, and in some cases to learn. Sometimes readers jump onboard, raise their hands, and get a case of the “holies” in the aisle because they agree so enthusiastically. Other times, and for some writers more than others, they boo, hiss, and march into the comments section with the Buffalo Soldiers.

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The cosigns are what they are, but the disagreement is what makes things interesting. And with the thousands (**The Rock voice** AND THOUSANDS) of comments I’ve had the opportunity to read, I’ve noticed a distinct and growing pattern in the accidentally humorous rebuttals of some women. It’s Monday and I don’t feel like being deep and thought-provoking, so let me talk to you about 3 of them in a hybrid hyperbolic-real world context.

“You’re a misogynist” or “If a woman did that…”

Chicken-egg or egg-chicken. You pick. This is my new favorite rebuttal that’s appearing more and more frequently in response to a man’s opinion on just about anything that can involve women. It goes a little something like this:

Dude: I like to eat all my french fries before my burger and then the 2 apple pies after a sip of coke.
Chick: Oh, if a woman did that, you’d have a problem with it.
Dude: What? You’re wilding. Who said anything about what a woman should do with her fries?
Chick: Oh, you don’t care about our fries rights? You’re a misogynist!


Dude: I couldn’t date a woman that’s against giving me a sloppy floppy.
Chick: Oh, so her being on her knees is a prerequisite for dating? She gotta be able to cook too?
Dude: I mean Steak and BJ Day is real. It’s on The Google. The day is pointless without the whole shebang.
Chick: Disgusting. You clearly don’t respect women. Misogynist.

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“You hate yourself.”

There have been a lot of articles over the past couple of years that have drawn comparisons between Black women and White women. Black men have expressed dating preferences and the logic behind their thought processes regardless of how unsavory they may have been. And for the record, I know that some of these articles have been written with the sole intent of creating a firestorm. But sometimes, I think people hear an opinion they don’t like and attempt to justify it like this:

Dude: White women are so nice to me.
Chick: Oh, and Black women aren’t?
Dude: I never said that. It’s just been my experience that White women are nicer to me.
Chick: Maybe if you didn’t hate yourself so much you’d see that Black women are nice too.
Dude: Wow. This isn’t just about Black women. What about Latinas—
Chick: Grrrr. Stop turning your back on your people!

“You’re insecure.”

This one is probably the most classic of them all. “You’re immature” gives it a run for its money. Insecurity is responsible for a lot of the problems that we have in our relationships. No doubt about that. But if I choose to express my thoughts on why I’m against dating someone that had a dorm room nickname in college or is close friends with her former booty buddies, why does it have to turn into this:

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Slim: Yeah, I’m not really trying to date a chick that’s still good friends with her former mates of varying statuses.
Chick: Stop being so insecure. You’re just worried that one or all of them was bigger.
Slim: Actually, not at all. Don’t make me whip it out. I just don’t want my girl regularly in contact with a bunch of dudes that have seen her naked and/or had their paninis pressed by her pleasure pocket. Is that a crime?
Chick: A crime of jealousy and insecurity.
Slim: I’m gonna write a post about you and when you ask me if it’s about you, I’m gonna deny it and say it was based on a friend.

So these are just three of the common rebuttals I see thrown out there nowadays in response to what we have to say on certain topics. In all seriousness though, where do folks draw the line with these being legitimate arguments? Are there other arguments out there nowadays that you hear or read that have become tired? Aside from what I mentioned, are there other reasons people seem to be leaning on these rebuttals at a growing rate?

Rebuttingly Tired,

P.S. Don’t forget to check out my personal blog, The Real Slim Jackson, where I literally say whatever is on my mind.