Yes sir ... you are winning

**** Editor’s Note ****
I started this site almost 4 years ago. I named the site after myself.  I was a single black male.  I had no plans to stay that way, but it seemed fitting and I was loving being single. I was a young black male professional in DC. I was walking around being stupid and loving it.  But I knew it wouldn’t last.

Today I announce the death of the original Single Black Male.  What do I mean … SBM is engaged.

After 2+ years of commitment, it’s time for that next step in life.  I finally found that person, I finally sucked it up and bought a ring, and I’m still fighting over the wedding I don’t want.

So, moving forward call me SBM, Sean Blackman (my pen name … #GetIt), or simple “The Man” … I’m dropping the single.

My friend emails me and some other people a link about minorities (aka Black Folks) trying to start tech companies.  Somehow, the emails soon turn to talk of dating and black women.  That is the nature of the male mind … everything somehow leads to women.

One of my friends dropped this gem from the Wall Street Journal: An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage

I read the article not knowing what to expect. Besides advocating the racial exploration of Black women, this article pointed out a lot of interesting (although apparently not 100% correct) facts and hypothesess.

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Black women are less likely to be married than their white counterparts

Big news … right?  Looking at the population, the percentage of white women who have never been married is about half that of their black counterparts

Black women are the least likely to date outside their race

I noticed this since day 3 of undergrad. Not only do black women hate the idea of personally dating outside the race, but they passionately hate (like yell hate slurs our of their car window mad) to see a black man with a woman of any other race.

The Answer: Black women should date outside their race

Long story short, there aren’t enough black men and we are getting comfortable with dodging marriage. Since there are plenty of fish in the sea, why stop fishing. It’s easy to get fat when there is plenty of good food to eat, right?  In addition to adding a bunch of available men to black women’s dating prospects, it will also cause us to “act right”.  Once we see that we aren’t the only option and aren’t as desired as we used to be … instant case of “act right”. No comment …


But with all of the things that were being presented, with all of the interesting statistics being thrown at me, and with all of the pro-interracial propaganda, personally I could only really focus on one thing:

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Black men are still winning

Yes, we still are killing it in the dating world. We still got the power and can still justify our egos.  We still are highly desired and in minimal numbers.  If we get tired, we can be on to the next one before the “ex” is out the door.  If we get afraid of committing … no problem … we’ll just “date” for 5 years straight with no labels and the option to smash other people.  When your winning … you make the rules.

It’s like a bunch of airplanes and not enough pilots.  Suddenly pilots can take 5 weeks of vacation, demand higher pay, and fly with a different airline everyday of the week.  If the pilot won’t commit to your airline, what are you going to do? Time to step your game up and show them the benefit of your airline.

A good professional black man is (sadly) a rare gem.  As one, I don’t see enough of us at work, at the gym, on the bus, or in school. It’s sad, it’s a shame, and it is a terrible terrible thing for the forward movement of the black race.

But … it does mean that for the ones of us who make it through every social-economic-cultural barrier to “making it” … the world is ours.

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And that’s it.

– SBM aka “WTF are you talking about winning … ain’t you engaged?!?!” aka “No need to keep winning when you’ve already won”