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I recently watched the movie, She’s Out of My League. It’s actually pretty good. I will qualify that compliment with the fact that I began watching it with the lowest of expectations, so you may want to keep that in mind. At one point in the movie, the characters break down the spread one has to cover in order to get with someone “out of your league.”

Stainer: Okay, anyway… I love Kirky, but let’s face it, the guy’s a five.
Devon: Stainer, that’s just a dirty pool. He’s at least a six.
Stainer: A six? Alright you go ahead and pump rainbows into his @-hole. I’m just being honest.
Jack: Come on, cut him some slack. Look. Half a point cause he’s a nice guy. Right? And he’s funny, so that’s half a point each. That brings him to six.
Stainer: But he drives a sh*tbox, deduct a point. Take a point off.
Kirk: Wait, what’s wrong with my Neon?
Stainer: Oh, I don’t know, except the people who make that car don’t even like it. So, we’re back to a five.
Jack: Five.
Stainer: Meanwhile, this Molly, is a hard ten. And that five point disparity, that’s a chasm.
Kirk: Chasm?
Stainer: Chasm! You can’t jump more than two points.

As I’ve gotten older and remain unmarried, I’ve had no choice but to reflect back on some of my more serious relationships and attempt to figure out why they failed. I then have to decipher if they are worth pursuing anew, assuming the person hasn’t moved on to some less qualified chump bigger and better things.

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“I’m just sayin you can do better” – Droopy Drake

Like most men people, I’ve wanted someone who is out of my league. However, the more I thought about that statement, the more I began to wonder what the hell it even meant. Is it related to looks only? Intelligence? Career and life accomplishments?

If I date someone who’s beautiful but dumb and unemployed, what have I really accomplished? Is she still out of my league? What if she’s ok in the looks department but advanced in her career and extremely intelligent? Is she out of my league then too? Is this strictly based on my own interpretation or the perception of others?

I have a friend and we were dead serious joking about how we want a woman that is so fine when people see us together they make bitterly jealous and snide remarks like: 1) I’m just sayin you can do better; 2) He must be rich; or 3) He aint hittin that right!

I have wondered for quite some time what my future wife will be like. Upon first impressions, what will I and others think of her? Does it matter what others think? For me? Honestly? Yes, sort of. I want a woman in my life that others are jealous of. Be it for superficial or intellectual reasons or the lifestyle her and I have worked together to build. With age, I’ve gotten more practical.

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There was a time in my life where I vowed only to (seriously)  date women that were finer than the last woman I seriously dated. This was sustainable for a while until, well, I dated a woman that was too fine to top. Shortly thereafter I realized how stupid a goal this was to have in the first place. You know how it goes: When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways…

Streetz already did a full analysis on Drake’s Marvins Room, from which I quoted from earlier. What bothered me about this song and a part of the movie itself is how much influence we can sometimes allow others to have on our relationships. If some man, even your X-man, has the influence to make you question the merits of our relationship simply by telling you that you can do better, how strong was our foundation to begin with? I have a simple rule about men trying to take my woman, which I know they will because I have no plans to be with a woman that men wouldn’t want to take. Indirectly, it’s a compliment to you and my taste that another man would attempt such a feat. At the same time, if he can take you, he can keep you.

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Ladies and gentlemen, are you consistently looking for someone out of your league or are you content dating the men in or below your league? How do you determine where they fall – based on your own opinion or that of others? What are your thoughts on the movie character’s conversation highlighted above? Ladies, if you’re a 10, how does a 5 go about covering “the Chasm?”