It has been hard transitioning from a Single Black Male into a Dating Black Male and now into an Engaged Black Male (I’m still SBM though … remember that).

Today’s post is part of a new series: Engaged Black Male.  I’ll talk about being engaged, my upcoming life of commitment, and all of the thoughts and thinking that goes through the head of a Black Male about to officially get out of the game for good.

Enjoy …

"SBM will wear no ring!" - SBM before being slapped

Personally … I’m happy I’m getting married.  I think about it … it makes me happy.

But … I try and convey this feeling of joy to my friends … and it gets messy.

SBM: “Yeah man … I’m engaged now.”
Roscoe: “Why?”
SBM: “What you mean?”
RD: “Why would you do that? Why would you get married? Ain’t you still young?”
SBM: “I swear … n****s …”

“Why” is the #1 response I get when telling another black man of similar age that I am planning on getting married.  This made me think … why am I getting married?

F*ck the club

You know what the club is like when you don’t need to worry about who you are going to take home that night … fun! I go to my table (not going if no table is involved), sit down, drink as much as I want, and the only people I need to talk to are the ones I know.  I used to be nice … but now I’m an a$$. “What do you mean Dave told you to come drink from our bottle? F* Dave. Get out of here. The bar is that way.” It might be me … but not caring what any other chic thinks about me in the club has allowed me to transcend to new levels of ignorance … and I love it.

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It’s hard out here by yourself

I have moved 4 times in 3 years.  And not just from one side of town to the other, but between DC, ATL, Boston, and San Francisco.  I’ve moved by myself before … sh*t sucks.  Life is so much easier with a permanent support system that is there for you.  I loved being on my own … but I love having someone else soooooo much more.

(Most) Girls are dumb … throw rocks at them

I write about dating.  I talk to people about dating.  People ask me about dating.  Man … I didn’t realize how much I hated dating.  You have to entertain these stupid stupid people who often have nothing to add to your life and just waste your time.  You take them out (or let them take you out) and it’s painful. It’s not everyone, but think about how many chickenheads or worthless men you have encountered trying to find quality … it’s sickening.

Rejections Sucks

One of my friends had a “situation” not work out.  I didn’t know what to tell her.  I don’t really remember the last time a woman rejected me … my life is just winning.

Working for “it” gets old

First, you see her.  Mentally you map out your approach, check your breathe, and move forward.  You need to be witty and intelligent, but not boring.  You want to be funny, but need to be taken seriously.  You need to find something in common, and then convince her that you know enough to pique her interest.  Now … you can ask for the number.  Then you call (or text) her to further impress her … get her to go out with you … and then get her back to the spot.  Hopefully she doesn’t have a headache, cause then your f*’d.  She doesn’t … good … now you can smash.

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Damn … I got tired just thinking about how much work that used to take.


When you think about it … it just makes sense.

Feel me?

– SBM aka “Don’t you dare call me EBM” aka “I know what the f* I’m doing”