Let me paint a picture for you: You get a woman’s phone number/bbm and you start chatting. You hit her with all your classic lines, your charm, and she’s FEELING it! You have no doubt in your mind that you can and will score. You set up a rendezvous with this woman, and have a wonderful evening filled with dinner, dancing, and even a pre end-of-the-night kiss! You take her back to her house, and that awkward moment where you don’t want to ask to come upstairs, but you hope she offers, occurs. As you put the car in park, she looks dead into your eyes and says “if you’re feeling tired or want to chill some more, feel free to come inside”. Like a vampire who rejoices that the curse is lifted once he receives an invitation to enter a mortal’s house, you are elated, knowing that you have one more road to cross before experiencing the pleasures of her warm squishy goodness. The anticipation builds, but you contain your excitement, so you don’t look like a giddy 12 years old who got that new video game for Christmas and is ready to do damage to his XBOX 360. You keep it cool, because you know the major victory has been achieved, and all that was left was the consummation.

You get upstairs, and as you witnessed throughout the night, she sends you every type of nonverbal message that says “You better not be a cake ass dude. You better rip my clothes off, throw me against this wall, MAKE me scream your name, and give it to me right, or you are finished!”  This fine specimen has given you your marching orders. All that’s left is for you to execute. Once you get settled, and while you two are watching TV, or chatting, you survey the situation like a pride of lions observing a herd of gazelles on the open field, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

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You see daylight and make your move. Things are getting hot and extremely heavy! You get to the point where clothes come off, and to enter her restricted area, you’ll need your golden ticket. We don’t stop at the tolls; we got E-Z Passes! Right before you’re about to present your documentation for admittance to her love factory, she hits you with the Heisman. With a look that screams “YOU gotta chill!!” she exclaims “No, I’m not trying to do that right now”.

No? NO?!! What are you talking about?!  We were right here!! Right. HERE!! How are you going to stop me at the goal line when I’m ready to score and do my touchdown dance! This is complete B.S.! I’m out!! These are the thoughts that permeate your mind when you get shut down by a woman. So, not wanting to seem super pressed, or wanting to pressure her, you stop. She then looks at you like you have 7 heads, and asks “Why did you stop?!” What’s even worse is when you tell her the obvious “Umm… because you said stop”, she looks disheveled and confused. She’ll tell you that her no was actually a “yes keep going” response. Women logic strikes again! I’ve encountered this situation more times that I’d like to recount, and tried to reason myself as to why this occurs. I’ve been in situations where No meant yes, and no meant NO. So how do you actually tell the difference?

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I would say that it has to be a gut feeling, mixed with the analysis of non-verbal communication. See, I’m always weary of trusting intuition. As a youth, my mom ingrained the following mantra: “If a woman says no, No means NO!!!” No matter what I thought she really meant I would stop when she says no. There’s a difference between a verbal confirmation and physical. There will be times when things get hot and heavy between a woman, and she might do a gentle push away or the classic “Let’s slow down” phrase, while she’s getting increasingly aggressive, but once she says to chill, I chill! If she looks perplexed, than you know that no meant yes.

I feel that a woman will let you know whether verbally or non-verbally whether you should stop or go, but the woman is controlling the situation. Some women like aggressive men, but that doesn’t grant you carte blanche to do whatever you feel based off a hunch. Women seem to say no initially because things may be moving too fast and they need to call a 20 second timeout to reorient themselves. They might want to say no to give the impression that it won’t be “that easy” to bed them, which is respectable because they value perception. Sometimes, they may not have wanted things to go past a certain line. Once you Dougie and Cat Daddy all over that line, they have to put a halt before you get your hand in the cookie jar, or when they need you to remove said hand. Other times, they may just not be into you, and no actually means NO! Over time, with experience, you can feel these situations out, but I always err on the side of caution. Your boy Streetz is not built for jail in any way, shape or form! Women are complicated when it comes to the word no, but it can actually be simplified once you know the background reasons for their initial denial. Either way, chill before they put you on ice!

This post is an excerpt from my e-book “Fly On The Wall” which will be released on on November 2nd. Yes after months of talk, it will finally be here! it’s the first piece of literature that I will actually “publish”. I’m excited for it, and I hope you enjoy. Be sure to check back here next week for all the details!