It doesn't always end like this...or even close to this.
I was perusing Madame Noire’s homepage yesterday and came across an article titled “7 Things a Man Only Does If He’s Serious About You.” Being the curious lad I am, I clicked through to see how the author, jaustin, would translate a man’s actions into womanspeak.
Jaustin is normally one of my favorite contributors at Madame. When I see her name on something there, I usually read it and can at least give a couple nods. But this article was so egregiously erroneous that the passion of the pen compelled me to point out why it does a tremendous disservice to the women she wrote it for.
Also and unfortunately, when I found the article, it had 452 Facebook likes and 405,000 views. I’m convinced and hopeful that at least 430 of those likes were from men who wanted women to follow the post down the yellow brick road of dreams deferred, despair, and wrong #hims. I’m also convinced that at least 150,000 of those pageviews were from women who took the article as fact, tried to apply it to their lives, then came back for a double-take when things didn’t turn out smiley.
The headline indicated that there are seven things a man only does when he’s in it for the long haul. I wanted to take the top three or four, but I found enough wrong with each of the points to cover them all. So here goes.
Ask about “that thing”
If you had a job interview you were nervous about, or a doctor’s appointment, a meeting about a possible promotion, or just something you had once mentioned was coming up and he makes a point of calling you up after to ask how it went, he is serious about you. Men who aren’t serious about a woman make a point of not asking for too many details about her life.
No he’s not. Maybe this one fails because the example is served on a rusted garbage can lid, but if someone was excited or anxious about something and they shared that with me, I’d follow up with them because that’s just the type of person I am. If you tell me that your cat Speedo had Acute Pawsitis surgery on the 15th and I call you on the 16th to see how it went, that doesn’t mean I’m interested in cutting the cake with you on your special day…unless it’s a “welcome” home cake for Speedo…who can’t even eat the sh*t. Da f**k? Take off that tiny hat.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mNB_VG_shc
Clarify missed calls
Did he take hours to call back? Did he completely forget to text back? If you’re just someone he is having temporary fun with, he isn’t concerned about you getting pissed about those things. But if he makes a point of saying, “Hey, sorry for taking so long, I was hung up in etc, etc” or “Oh my god I just realized you sent me a text when I was at work and I completely forgot to answer! I’m so sorry!” then you’re not someone he is willing to let go of easily. (Men know how much delayed call or text-backs upset us).
Cheating @ss men do this all the time. Single @ss men trying to balance their buttbooks do this all the time. A man who has anything going on in life does this all the time. It doesn’t mean anything other than “Sorry. I was busy.” Do you know how often my name goes yellow on gchat? Or how often I just go invisible all together because I’m tied up non-erotically? Probably not. Man, I’m truncating this sh*t due to frustration.
Offer to help
When you mention that you’re moving, or putting together some furniture, or looking for a new car, does he jump at the chance to help? Does he often look for ways he can be of service to you? Men don’t do that just for a woman they are trying to sleep with or casually date for a short period of time. They save that type of effort for ones they are serious about.
No they don’t. Define serious? Serious backshots? Cmon now. This is the type of stuff that gets decent men labeled as masters of misleadery. Some dudes just like to help. Others just want to help you get undressed. Either way, I wouldn’t rely too heavily on this one. It will get you pumped and disappointed…unless you only want pumps.
Plan ahead
If you’re just a fling to him, you are (unfortunately) kind of replaceable. But, if he is serious about you, no one else’s presence will do. You’ll know that is the case if he asks you a significant amount of time ahead of time to reserve a day so that you can be his date to something. That means he wants to guarantee he gets your time.
You’re killing me J. If you had said he planned an elaborate date ahead of time, I’d have rocked with you. But many a man has simply reserved time with a woman three to four weeks in advance. It doesn’t mean anything extra special. Some of us hate being last minute about stuff. I don’t want to be sending out tweets or FB blasts two days before the Chocolate Gala because I’ve slacked in my pimpin’ date hustle. And as awful as this sounds, maybe dude’s wife just went out of town and now he’s free to see you.
Care about your career
If he really cares about you, he wants all the other things in your life that make you happy to go as well as possible! If a man has clearly put time into thinking about your career, and coming up with suggestions for how you could advance it or be happier in it, he plans on being around for a while. He is making sure things in your future will be good. Because he plans on being with you then and he wants to be with a woman who is happy.
I will never give another woman career advice again.
Brags about you
If he isn’t serious about you, he may bring you to a party or a friend’s get together, but he’ll most likely leave you to fend for yourself. If he is serious about you, he is proud of you, and he will make a point of being near you to introduce you to people and tell them all about you and your accomplishments.
What is this? The coliseum? Are there lions? Thugs with boxcutters? Vicious initiation ceremonies? What dude — other than the @sshole — is inviting women out then leaving them to fend for themselves? So if a man shows common courtesy, does introductions, and speaks of your accomplishments, he wants to be boobooed up? I think naught. Though I must say, this was a valiant effort.
Just wants to cuddle
No man who is trying to keep things casual is going to make the terrible mistake of sending a, “Can’t you just be next to me so we can cuddle?” text. They know that sends a serious signal. If a guy sends this type of text, he likes you.
Don’t you know that 9 out of 10 spoons end in forks?! Men know this. We win with this. We’ve been doing this since high school with no intention of commitment.
It’s articles like these that give women hope where there should be none. Men can’t do nice things if every gesture is assumed to be a sign of serious interest. Put more simply, every little thing he does doesn’t mean you’re on his mind. For as much as people complain about male relationship experts, I wish they’d spend the same amount of time calling out stuff like this on the sites so many women frequent. Taking this advice will get you got, and is further reason why you should take these random relationship opinions with a grain of salt. I don’t want to see you with tattooed tears of anti-joy.
The Power is Yours,
P.S. Highlight directly below this line for a secret message that will get me bodied if I share it openly.
If a man is serious about you, he will tell you.
Women who read Madam Noir will be single for life. The articles are atrocities.
The women on Clutch also
I agree the few articles I've read have been horrible.
Agreed *smhl*
I read that entire article on MN a week ago while snickering and cackling
I have to go with Slim on this one. I can see in some aspects how many of these actions might at least signal that he’s interested in you/likes/or just being kind, but it doesn’t mean that he’s ready hang up his jersey. Other than the introduction “ie: hi this is my girlfriend/lady @Smilez_920” everything else is just common courtesy. It’s scary that women in this day and age are so accustom too @holes that when a man is being a gentleman/courteous/showing common respect that we jump out of pocket and think, dang he’s serious. I mean come on if your thinking of dealing with a man on any level of dating him planning a date ahead of time isn’t a big deal (unless it’s a trip to Jamaica). I guess some ladies have accepted less than behavior from men for so long that when a man is being a gentleman and just over all respectful, they go crazy. Ladies are going to have to step some of their standards up a little (just speaking to some ladies not all).
+1 on all of this.
I read that before, but life experience has taught me better than to apply such things. There's no hope for people who take articles like that seriously.
I replayed that cat video way too many times. Its still funny.
This was 1990s playoff Jeter-esque in terms of batting average. Some people are just nice. The women who believe articles like that have never had a partner treat them well in life in addition to not expecting common decency from men.
Definitely agree with this. I was recently telling a friend of mine to chill out and stop feeling special because this guy she just started bumping pelvises with does one thing or another. Men sometimes do things because they simply do it. The said dude is naturally very helpful (we used to be "friends" is how I know), friendly, and consistently conversational and communicative. He's done a lot under the sun for (and TO) different girls…..And so I told her, my standard advice….don't feel special until he asks you to be his girlfriend/wife. FIN! (Even at that I'm sure there have been some extensive gestures men did for casual flings that they haven't done or yet to do for their partner) Simply put: Gestures aren't concrete signs of whether he is into you or not! They are merely accurately or inaccurately suggestive.
Oh, I just remembered one thing….my best male friend once said to me about some girl he wanted to FCUK, that he would willingly take her out to dinner every week, just to get in there…..LOL! (Gestures ain't shit ladies)
I am in that "simply do it" boat. Whoever is around me friends, family, or jumpoffs all get the helpful, friendly, consistent person. The only thing I do not do is explain my missed calls text email. Sometimes you arent tryin to heard people so I dont fall in that trap of explaining why I ignored your message.
Here is what you need to understand about women.
1. Women are not in it to truly help other women… Because that is one high-value male taken off the market. Why would you help your competition?
2. And they are not out to help men either, because every time a man successfully beds a woman, he becomes validated & more valuable to the female species. And women like to put men in boxes. By helping that man get laid put him up for re-evaluation as a prospective mate.
The best relationship advice is from MEN without an agenda… So, do not listen to Men in MainStream Media
And it goes without saying that in 2012, nice men are all-around losing. I do nice things for people because I derive enjoyment from the reaction of doing a nice act.
Sometimes I think women have it in their minds that men today are savages and therefore we only do things with a hidden agenda or an end-goal in mind. That very well could be true 50% of the time. But in most cases, some guys are just genuinely nice. Not to be confused with simps, but they just have the basic foundation of manners and reciprocity when it comes to the opposite sex. Like you said Slim, if it's a woman of significance to me and she's mentioned something coming up multiple times (like taking LSAT or applying for a major job), eventually I'm going to bring it up again later as means to touch base and ask 'hey how'd that work out for you?".
This reads to me more like a personalized list for a woman that probably is used to dealing w/ hooligans and trifes.
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jwoodny I also think (as many of my guy friends do) that many, not all, but many women are mad "thirsty" and desperate wannabe housewives so they get all geeked up over the slightest act of kindness……smdh. Damn shame.
i took it to mean that he is trying to do more than just smash between the hours of 2 and 4am… not that he was in love with you or anything. but i didn't read the original article… just the little synopsis that you posted
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theres been times when i would be getting to know a chick being generally nice and chivalrous not see a connection and now she’s only good for that 2-4am trip. Agendas change and evolve depending on the situation…how he feels about you in April may not be the same in June
…how he feels about you in April may not be the same in June……… PREACH!
Another thing folks fail to realize….how a person feels about you can change like the weather.
Women who believe the stuff in that argue are the same ones that think a dude is into them if he says “Hello.” The foolishness just kills me.
women who believe this stuff cant accept a compliment without thinking someone being thirsty.
I just read what I posted. I'm glad people were able to understand me. I was half asleep at 3am, trying to type on an iPhone.
Slim I'm with you on this joint SO HEAVY!
All things listed have I done in my single life. And not because I was serious about the woman I was dealing with but because I wanted to maintain Pussy Priviledge and remain #1 on the cellular speedy Dick Dial. And it works 90% of the time.
"He planned ahead for us to go out…..He asked about my cats surgery…..He inquires about how my day goes…..He offered to give up his Saturday to come help me move some things around…..I think Imma give him some pussy" This is the rationale of many women and that other blog is seemingly only making it worse for them by reenforcing that way of thinking.
Just saw this comment and cracked up. I'ma have to ride heavy with it myself. Pause.
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That MN post failed on so many labels. It is setting women up to believe that if a man treats you with any common decency and respect he wants you, because men never treat women with respect unless they want the goods long term. In a way it is an indirect insult to men every where, especially the offer to help part. I am seriously awaiting a "He Open the Door, He Wants the Box" post from the dating blogosphere any day now.
(facepalm)
What is "serious about you"? Isn't that relative? I didn't take away from it that he was ready to propose at all. I understood it to mean that the man in question thinks more of you than just someone he's having sex with.
But what is upsetting to me is the idea that anyone would settle for less than the above mentioned behavior be it male or female. I dunno…call me old fashioned…or crazy.
It's open to interpretation. Marriage just being the ultimate level of seriousness. But in all honesty, if I'm serious about someone at this age, it's not because I'm just trying to have a good time. Any relationship could be the relationship.
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But Slim the reality is every woman you date will not be "thee One." There can only be One future Mrs. Slimuel….(unless you turn muslim and start practicing that more than 1 wife crap) lol
I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that I didn't feel could be that person. That's all I'm saying. Dating here being different than being in a committed relationship.
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I feel you Slim and I agree. I honestly didn't think too many men got with women because they thought she could be "the one"…….many other reasons….but not that one.
Interesting. But this further explains why some women have this zero-sum way of looking at the actions of men. It reminds me of the chivalry = good man way of thinking. A guy can be the most chivalrous man on earth and still not give a f**k about you.
This article today made me slam my fist down with great vengeance and fury. I could not agree more with Slim today. This is that type of post that riding out music is inspired from!
Big Krit old school joint perhaps?
The things in the MN article are all things my friends do because they are great friends. As far as dating I would say if these are the parameters in which someone judges if a man is serious they they need to raise their expectations. I think the point of view of the MN article is of someone who has lower expectations of their dates, you have to start at the top. Does he introduce you to his parents? Does he take note of the little things you like and try to give that to you? Is he bringing up the exclusivity conversation? Those are more sustainable indicators….
Hahaha. All that advice to me makes sense coz a man will do all that if he is serious about you. But also, if you have to wonder and ask and go online for advice then he is probably not. I have a lot of experience with a lot of men and I know that if a man is serious about you he will make it known one way or the other. He won’t keep you guessing. But there are a lot of men who just don’t treat women well. So many. It happens too often so no one should be surprised that the article is getting so much action.
Ppl looking at me weird for laughing loud at the cat line…but essentially the MN article should be ways for HER to want to be serious about him. There’s nothing in the articl that any man with any type of manners don’t do anyway. Leading chicks to think all gentlemen are into them gonna leave them mindf____ed when i change a flat tire and then have to hit em with the “let’s just see where things go” line.
I wouldn't even say "we'll see where things go" unless you really wanna see where things go. just change that tire and go home.lol
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Smh…the title is perfect.
I would hope most adult women wouldn't read too much into that MN article. Some men do nice, gentlemanly things. And others don't mean. It doesn't mean the nice guy wants forever and a day with you. I'm a nice person to everyone, I speak to everyone, and I've been labelled a flirt because of it. I know that a smile to the wrong guy might make him think I think more of him than I actually do. Women complain of this all of the time. That men think too much of a smile, a hello, a friendly church hug. lol. So, I would hope most of us would not get caught up into thinking that every nice gesture from a guy, even the guy you're currently dating, isn't anything more than a him being a gentleman. This is what he want. Let's not push these dudes toward assholery by reading too much into grown man, good behavior. Likewise, they make me be a beeyatch just because you think a smile is an invitation.
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I completely agree with all of your interpretations Slim. These 7 messages are clearly the result of overthinking (like so many of us do), women in despair movies, and too much wine. I wish more of us would learn to take things at face value and stop reading so much into ish. "Hello" really does just mean "hello" most times..not "omg he said hello, he's secretly been thinking about this for days plotting on how he can randomly bump into me on the street in DC with only enough time to make a quick eye lock and mutter a hello". AHHH make it stop!
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"omg he said hello, he's secretly been thinking about this for days plotting on how he can randomly bump into me on the street in DC with only enough time to make a quick eye lock and mutter a hello"
LOL. or a text message that simply says "hey."
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Men even introduce you to their parents these days with no intention of marrying you. They even take you to their home country and introduce you to their families….they will even take you to visit their entire village in Africa with no intention of being "serious".
lol…..they may be semi-serious Mika but doesn't guarantee he will put a ring on it.
Other thing folks need to focus on is Why a man does what he does…..no just what he does.
Start asking Why!
"They even take you to their home country and introduce you to their families….they will even take you to visit their entire village in Africa with no intention of being "serious"."
Haw! I can't co-sign that. The economy is a bit dodgy these days. I can't even consider a day at Disney World if it's not a serious relationship.
I don't know why but this whole "even take you to visit their entire village in Africa" reference just made me holla!!!.
*smhlmbooo*
lmao @ "I will never give another woman career advice again." Oh, and poor Speedo. ='-(
Yeah, I kind of grew out of looking for all sorts of inconsequential signs that someone is seriously into me by the time I was 20. I can see where she was going (a lot of guys who aren't serious about gyal dem don't bother with up to 1/3 of these things), but ultimately, I agree with the hidden message that will not be repeated for the sake of your safety.
I read that article a week ago and honestly I feel like all of those things fall under the Act of Chivalry; Nothing More – Nothing Less, until HE tells you differently.
I'm not about to go pick out my china patterns just cuz ole boy did one of the above so called "Signs that He's Just THAT Into You" type things, but I can also understand how some women might look at those above signs and start seeing cupid arrows due to other articles such as "Chivalry is Dead and Women Killed it' "Nani Stock hits Rock Bottom" "Casual S.ex is the New Relationship" and so.
"Don’t you know that 9 out of 10 spoons end in forks?!" LOL Those point are for the birds… Anyone silly enough to follow that needs to stay off relationship sites altogether. SMH
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I agree with all of this on your post Slim. They say the road to hell is paved with the best intentions. None of these things indicate he's serious – for a relationship. He may be, but that's seen with time and actions, follow up, CONSISTENCY and truth. I also believe he has to flat out let you know and tell you what he wants/wants you/wants a relationship with you. Nice gestures, smoke signals and helping me move my furniture around/spending time doesn't equate to a man being in love. Just a man who wants poon and hot meals? I could be wrong but….
Also, I was done with the cat video. It got me together this morning.
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If women took that article for gospel, and in a relationship scenario lets say "are not" serious about their guy, these "signals" (im holding up quotation fingers) could possibly deal break and end a relationship thinking that someone is catching feelings that are not mutual between them.Thats another way dudes get friend zoned. Nothing is more concrete then just opening your mouth..and asking the questions for the answers you seek.
Ive seen the most chivlarous dudes be the biggest swindlers on the planet. That post on MN was written with a High School mentality for those in a post graduate educated world to utilize. If you really believe all that shyt, than I feel sorry for your mother *Menace to Society Voice*
Spooning?! If a dude SPOONS with you he's serious about you?! net she'll say if he only wants to f*nger pop you that means he's a gentleman!
lmao….wow Streetz…I haven't heard "finger pop" since college….WOW!….lol ….you took it waaaay back wit that.
I can't believe you said, "finger pop" on the internet and then tried to asterisk it.
Can I live?!?!?! lol
ha ha…u are livin Streetz
lol….finger pop has several different meanings J….lol
I agree that while those things are NICE, it does not automatically equate to He' Just So Into You. He may just be a nice guy who believes in treating people with decency and consideration. And PLEASE believe that the Playas have these little gems tucked away in their bag o' tricks and will not hesitate to use them! Like caring about your career, may just be assurance to keep your check coming in to keep him tight!
I'm being sarcastic because while a man that wants to be with you SHOULD show you these kinds of things, just because a man does, it should be taken into consideration and not just assumed that he's daydreaming of you being his wife.
This blog is proof that many women don't know "nice guys" who do these things just for the sake of being nice. So Slim, please tell us single ladies-just how DO men show when they are serious about the woman they are seeing?
LOL @ this! I totally agree, Slim. And LOL @ your Soul 4 Real reference! And LOL @ Dr. J for his Pulp Fiction reference!
The best article I read about "being able to tell how a man feels about you" was written by a man. http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/how-…
How do you fella's like that one??? I believe it depends on the individual and the circumstances, first and foremost…but I think dude made a lot of good points.
LOL at this post.
idied at the hidden message. bwaahaha. very true.
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Good write up here, 'Slim. Nothing really more to add. It appears the masses are in agreement as a whole as well.
Yall know Madam Noir is run by the same folks that own Bossip right? Kind of tells you everything you need to know about their credibility.
The simplest saying in the world holds truth regarding this article. . . "It is what is is". . Nothing more, nothing less. . Its just to be taken at face value. . "It is what it is". . ..
Aja can't put it any plainer than this……
Right!
I'm not going to dispute advice coming from a man. HOWEVER, being able to tell when a guy is serious i think, is a combo of noticing what he does for/with you and listening to what he is saying to you (and other folks around ya'll). Think about when politicians tell us: "I'm gonna help the middle class" But you look at their entire voting record and it reflects the opposite. And yes, I put men and politicians in the same category.
Generally speaking, I use various context clues in action and words to know if someone is BSing me or being honest. If I've gathered enough intelligence to conclude he's diggin me, i'll then I'd ask: "Hey, i noticed a,b, and c and i'm getting the feeling that blah blah blah..am i right in thinking this?" Of course, it all has to be the right timing and i won't ask unless i'm like 90% sure…and i have a glass of wine close by if the answer is no lol.
"It’s articles like these that give women hope where there should be none." Slim I couldn't agree more which is why I laugh at folks who take this stuff seriously…I read it strictly as entertainment. I also agree with the if a man wants to be serious with you he will tell you. Can't say it much plainer and simpler than that.
Men and women who are in relationships need to focus on whomever their with instead of reading articles that refer to how a majority of men act in general and give u blanket statements as if this can be applied to almost every man.
If your single just be yourself and once your with someone learn that person and stop worrying about what "men" want, like, and need, and focus on what Your Man wants, likes and needs. Then you will win.
Also I know this may sound completely foreign and azz backwards and make no sense whatsoever to women, but I've learned from men that they can truly and sincerely love and adore you and still cheat on you. Yes they really can.
I call BS! All of these guys are sitting up here talking about "it's the gentleman thing to do," "why can't we just be nice?" yada yada yada. EVERY single guy I've ever come in contact with wanted to either smash or be my dude. Period. So, in the context of a relationship or a guy showing interest in dating you (which is what the article is referring to)(not talking about guy friends, what are those?), some things listed in the article may not mean the guy wants to marry you, but it's evident that he is looking at you as more than just a roll in the hay because these actions simply show that he is thinking of you when you're not around or that he is proud of you. I don't agree with all of them, but some are true.
Then dudes get mad when they do all these things, and you say, "I thought we were just friends??" His response: "You think I'd be doing all this if I just wanted to be your friend??" Actions such as offering to help (especially if it involves spending money) and Bragging about you to friends or family are not things a guy does if he's not really into you. I just had a recent experience with this. You don't even occupy the mindspace of a man who only wants you for sex, except WHEN he wants sex. He doesn't feel the need to explain himself (because he's single), invest in you emotionally or financially (dates don't count), or help you advance in your career if he's just trying to get it.
This is not the best article, but stop trying to make it sound like there are certain things that a man does when he wants to be with you which differ from the things he does if he just wants to smash – because there are differences.
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Basically, someone who's "looking for something more" will likely do several (if not all) of the things listed, but by the same token just because someone does several (or all) of the things listed does not necessarily mean they are looking for something more.
@Malik – Hmmmm… I'm not sure I agree. I'd like to believe that guys may be doing these things "just to be nice or because that's just the kind of guy they are, but in all my years, and my experience, these are not the actions of someone only interested in a booty call. "Serious about you" is relative, but I took it mean that he wants more than just sex.
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People just need to stop making these lists because more than half the time, it doesn't apply.
The MN article may be bs but I don't see how you make the conclude that men can't "do nice things." Maybe y'all should relax. If a chick misinterprets your carefree kindness, then she misinterpreted–move on. Some girls will do that, just as some will not. These things weren't even that nice–they're just basic. So if you're seriously considering scrapping these simple ass gestures for fear that women will "think you're serious" maybe you're not really nice at all. And you'll end up missing out on the one you really want to be serious with. Cause most of this is BARE MINIMUM homie, and I wouldn't f*ck with anyone casually or seriously who couldn't do most of this shit.
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Cmon now…
Have you heard the expression "this is why we can't have nice things."
Same idea. I'm not telling men to stand down from all things generous. I'm just saying that when advice like this gets peddled, it makes it difficult for men to just be upstanding individuals without it leading to assumptions, confusion, or hope from the opposite sex.
But just like the article in question, the title of this post and what I wrote will mean different things to different people. Appreciate the perspective nonetheless.
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Ok that makes sense… I've read other articles from you so I was kind of surprised by what I thought was you saying that men shouldn't be nice–I guess my comment was more for the men who really do think that. And they definitely exist.
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Im crying at the hidden message though. Ol decoder ring lookin ass..
lol. I'ma be the king of easter eggs on the site. Mouse over my avatar and get the latest MMG mixtape.
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Although I agree with the article in general, I don't necessarily agree with the hidden message. My last guy told me he thought the world of me, loved me, all kinds of poetic nonsense. At the end of the day, he was STILL messing around with multiple other girls.
Hahaha. These comments are funny. I read the original MN article and just assumed that she was referring to a dude you were actually doing the awkward dating dance with, not the dude at the S.ubway who puts extra pickles on your sandwich. I also assumed that the dude was genuine and not scheming – but that's the context I brought into it.
I think at the crux of the original post is the old adage that people make time for what and who they want to make time for. This is like nice vs. kindness – kindness is doing basic sh*t like holding doors for people and saying thank you. Niceness can be delivered when you feel like it and to whom you feel is deserving. And some of the examples, I thought at least, meant that you had to have a lack of selfishness, go outside of yourself and be like do I want to be 'nice' to this person right now? Help her move? Find out about her hopes and dreams and remember them? As a woman I can say if I ain't feeling you like that, there are certain things I'm not helping you with. Soooo…I don't understand why it can't be the reverse.
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This is exactly the type of crap females believe. Thank you for clarifying this.
My dude and I have non sex time, where I can get in my cuddles in. However I was reading some thing the other day and it was talking about men platonically cuddling with women and he told me cuddling was "pussy pass only" and that he only cuddles with people he's sleeping with. In his words "If we're just friends, like you said, then we can sit on opposite sides of the couch." I cracked up laughing but I knew he was being serious.
My dudes and all around nice guy but honestly? He gets shit for being nice to women when he has no interest in fucking them. He was raised to respect women and it always backfires on him. Females assume that he's being nice for all the wrong reasons or that he's not being genuine. Now I do understand being a bit wary of it (I was wary of it when I first met him) being on the defensive when you meet someone new is smart as far as I'm concerned, but if you've been chatting and hanging out with someone for several months and they've done nothing sneaky or underhanded… isn't it time to say "This guy seems legit"? In the past year I've watched a handful of chicks he's tried to invite into our social circle just bomb their way out because they refuse to believe that men can be nice for no reason.
I will say the person above is right that there IS a difference between a man being nice and a man being kind. I'll take it even further and say the real difference is deciphering whether a man is being simply nice or being caring. MANY women get caught up in nice behavior (he opens doors, he's a gentleman, he doesn't reach for the titties on the first date) as potential bf material. They latch onto niceness instead of waiting to see if the man has some caring in him and they latch really really quickly instead of stepping back and waiting for more than a few instances of nice behavior. They also don't let the man tell them in his own words how he feels about you instead they read into shit and then ask their unassuming non-bf having female friends for advice.
Appreciate the thoughts Brittany. The distinction between being nice and being caring is a great one.
My recent post I Had a Dream. Tell Me What It Means.
I haven’t laughed this much reading a blog “I will never give another women career advise” lmao you killed it.
This was hysterical!! I never read the original but woe to the women who actually believe that dreck !!
This was hysterical!! I never read the original but woe to the women who actually believe that dreck !!
What do you mean? essays-tips