These maneaters are trying to get me!

Last week’s Dating Questionnaire seemed to be wildly successful.  I hope you all enjoyed the questionnaire, but if you didn’t get a chance to see, click here. Based on the feedback that we got from last week’s post, we created a questionnaire that was catered to men.  Yes… it’s a little more serious than, “Are you crazy?”  Come on fellas, it’s 2012.  Well, in the SBM Barbershop you have to articulate yourself a little bit better than, “That girl crazy, yo.”

Today’s mix is called, “What She Wanna Hear.” We put together this special mix in line with today’s post.  Tracklist below, but it’s some Cole, Jay, 2 Chainz & Weeknd, Wale, Jeezy, Future and more.  The fellas really gon’ love this… Again, the resident DJ is @CarverTheGreat, you can find more of his mixes here, but this is that #FistPumpFriday mix.  Stream below, or download it here. Right click, and select “Save Target As.”

This questionnaire was also written by Single Brown Female, the awesome girl from last week.  She takes her level of awesomeness to a new level, as she authors a great female version of the questionnaire.  Personally, I feel that the hardest part of picking a mate is trying to make sure you don’t waste time.  You hope that the women share your sense of logic or line of thinking.  I don’t want to deal with a baby that’s the coatcheck lady situation, nor do I want to wake up one night and see you on the edge of my bed sitting Indian style and going through my BlackBerry.  So… that’s what the questionnaire is intended to do.  SBM Barbershop Fridays in conjunction with Single Brown Female Productions presents to you,

The Dating Questionnaire: How to Avoid Ratchets and Maneaters

1. Name:

2. Phone Number:

3. Height: _____ ft. _____ in.

4. Anything you want to get off your chest now that you know will make a man run in the opposite direction? (Of course not, because in your mind, you are perfect. Right, princess?)

5. Please read the following dialogue:

Man (on a Friday afternoon): Hey, how is your day going? I’ve been swamped today. And I am feeling a bit under the weather.
Woman: Not too bad. A little busy but it’s helping the time pass faster. What’s wrong? The flu has been going around.
Man: I don’t think it’s the flu. I think I just need to get a good night’s rest. It’s been a long week at work so I am looking forward to a break. Have any plans for the weekend?
Woman: Hmm. Not too much, might watch a Lifetime movie, do some online shopping, just gonna chill at home tonight. Want to keep me company?
Man: I am pretty exhausted so I think I am going to sleep early tonight. How about I hit you up tomorrow?

Select one of the following that would most likely be your next response:

a) “Why do you always have to come up with an excuse as to why we can’t hang out?! I keep trying, but you always have an excuse. If you are over it, just let me know.”

b) “I knew you were f*cking someone else!”

c) “Sounds good to me. Get some rest. Hope you feel better!”

d) “Ok.”

6. I get it from my momma… or do you?

Please circle whether the following were purchased at a store or inherited through genetics:

a) Eyes : Purchased/Genetic

b) Hair: Purchased/Genetics

c) Eyelashes: Purchased/Genetics

d) Nails: Purchased/Genetics

e) Breasts: Purchased/Genetics

7. Let’s just be blunt: Are you crazy?

If your answer is no, you know you’re lying. You’re probably going bat sh*t crazy right now, over nothing.

8. Have you ever been arrested for destroying property (electronics, articles of clothing, etc.) of an ex or current boyfriend?

9. Do you encourage your boyfriend to have fun with his boys and without you?

10. Are you over your ex-boyfriend(s)?

a) If yes, do you still have stuffed animals or any other memorable gifts that he gave you?

b) If yes, do you perhaps think you are holding onto them because you are hoping you two get back together?

Admin Note: This is Dr. J – If I didn’t see you buy that lingerie, i’m going to assume another man has seen it.

11. Do any of the lyrics in the song “Chickenhead” by Project Pat, apply to you?

12. It’s a Friday night, and your boyfriend’s best friend invited both of you to a party at his apartment: If your boyfriend introduced you to a female friend, would you:

a) Be friendly. (Yes, this option is possible for some women.)

b) Sit in a corner, pout, and expect him to be as anti-social as you.

c) Automatically assume he used to sleep with her, and have an attitude the rest of the night.

13. Have you ever gone through a boyfriend’s cell phone?

If yes: Did it require a password?

If yes: Did you know the password because he told you? or because you stalked his finger movements?

14. Would you be insecure if your boyfriend’s best friends were female?

15. Are you willing to sit and watch football and/or basketball games with me without complaining? From start to finish, without saying “can’t you just DVR it?”

16. True or False: You have offered to pay for either food, drinks or the movies after your first date.

17. The Most Important Question: Please tell me about your parents and what you think about their relationship.

I’m still laughing at #5, that’s my favorite one right there.  The intro to “How’s It Goin’ Down” doesn’t hold a flame to “You [insert profane word for “sleeping with”] that chick, ain’t you?!”  #17 is a brief moment of seriousness,because you can pretty much predict how a woman will be in a relationship based on how she views the relationship her parents have.  Anyway, i’m about to get out of here.  There’s a new mix below, here’e the pdf version of The Dating Questionnaire for Women, and i’m out.

See Also:  The 5 Worst First Dates

Naija gonna love this post. I can’t wait to see her drop some love in the comments.

Oh yeah, thank God it’s Friday.  For all you people with crazy plans tonight, remember “YOLO” … unless you believe in God.

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Tracklist from today’s mix: 1. I Wanna Be Your Everything (Intro) by Goldie, 2. International Player’s Anthem by Pimp C, 3. What She Wanna Hear by 2 Live Click, 4. V*gina Is For Lovers by J. Cole, Wale, & Currensy, 5. Purple Rain by J. Cole, 6. Girls, Girls, Girls Remix by Jay-Z, 7. Like Me by 2 Chainz & The Weeknd, 8. Supa Freak by Young Jeezy & 2 Chainz, 9. I Like Money & B*tches by Young Swift, Young Jeezy, & Jim Jones, 10. Ain’t No Way Around It by Future, 11. My Ho 2 by Future, 12. Pop Them Thangs by Donnis