Deep Sigh

So I’m watching the Knick’s game this weekend and during halftime, as usual, Knick’s reporter Tina Cervacio picks a celeb from the crowd and does a 60 second interview. This week’s interview happened to be with Producer/Rapper/Husband Swizz Beatz. During the interview, I couldn’t contain my general annoyance and I couldn’t really figure out why. Which leads me today’s post. Today I wanna keep it light and share with you all a few famous or semi-famous folks in and around Black America that generally annoy me.

Swizz Beatz

Remember Rough Riders? Sure you do. They were a rap label/crew/conglomerate in the late 90’s and early 2000’s that produced some of Hip-Hop’s hardest and most popular music. Eve, The Lox, and of course the great Earl himself … DMX. They had a good run. The chief producer behind what became known as the “Rough Riders sound” was Swizz Beatz. Back then, he was just a young guy making beats. That, I could deal with. What makes Swizz so annoying today is that somehow he believes his beat-making has transcended to the point that he deserves to be in the upper echelon of Hip-Hop producers. It’s also clear he believes that he should be one the few folks chosen to lead Hip-Hop’s charge toward commercial domination in areas outside of Hip-Hop. He’s making songs for basketball teams, designing sneakers, hawking all sorts of beverages … all that. He really thinks he’s at the forefront of the culture and ish. It’s almost like he believes that since he buys expensive art, rare cars and high-top sneakers, he’s supposed to be avant garde or something. He’s not. He just makes beats. That’s where it should end for Swizzy. Sure, some of his stuff knocks, but there’s also a certain measure of clunky awkwardness about everything he touches that should always prevent him from ever being considered “great.” And let’s not forget about his hooks. I still don’t understand how he convinces these artists that they should let him rock out on the hook. He should never be allowed to speak on records … ever. Have we forgotten “Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, I’m tryna get that Oprah” or “(we are) ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra (I am) ultra ultra ultra ultra (you are)” He should definitely never be on anyone’s hook ever again. Songs like ‘On to the Next One’ and ‘Fancy’ are good despite him, not because of him. Just make beats bro.

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Michael Steele

Ever seen an episode of Real Time with Bill Maher that featured Michael Steele? If you have then you understand why he’s on this list. It’s not just his a**-backward political thought or his inability to reconcile his own blackness – it’s how willfully ignorant he’s chosen to be. When he speaks, you can tell he’s not lying, but instead, actively trying to close his eyes and ears to the truth. It’s like he’s trying to be stupid, but sound smart at the same time. We don’t believe you Michael. And the fact that the republicans put you in charge of their party means we can never, ever trust them either.