#BlackTwitter

I’ve had my twitter account since January 2008. I’ve discussed almost every subject there is to discuss. It’s only natural that being on twitter for more than 4+ years and having followed over six hundred people, I’ve started to see certain themes become repetitive. Today I would like to share with you six topic I am tired of seeing on Twitter.

Is turkey bacon really that bad?

6. Bacon.

I like bacon (turkey or sausage). It’s not my favorite pork product (that title goes to pork chops) but I do enjoy bacon with eggs and french toast every now and then. Somehow, every 36 hours or so, on Twitter, folks who worship bacon as if it’s some sort of pagan god find new ways to broach the subject on Twitter. This discussion usually comes about after some retailer finds someone new use for it. The last time a Twitter uproar was caused over bacon, some fast food chain created a bacon flavored milkshake.

5. Body Count.

You know one thing I’ve never asked a woman? How many men she’s slept with. This is because I don’t care. Unfortunately twitter deems in necessary to discuss what an acceptable number of people women (and to a lesser extent, men) should have slept with in her lifetime. What I don’t get is why it matters what strangers are doing. I don’t care about body count because 1) people rarely tell the truth, 2) as long as you’re safe if it really shouldn’t matter and 3) people rarely tell the truth.

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4. Women’s Weight.

This is a topic that causes a lot of hurt feelings. Someone usually asks what the cutoff between fat and thick is and everyone chimes in with their opinion. That’s usually how it goes, or a trending topic akin to #FlatStomachAppreciationDay gets started and twitpics of crusty navels float down timelines across the country. The arguments that ensue from such conversations and twitpics are counterproductive at best.

3. Height Requirement.

On twitter every man is 6’3 and weighs 225 pounds. Every woman is a 5’9 amazon with long legs. In reality a lot of dudes are 5’7 and a lot of women are 5’2. There’s nothing wrong with that, as those are the exact heights of my parents. What I get tired of hearing is everyone’s height preference. You would never date a man under 6’? Word, let me know how automatically disqualifying a large percentage of dating candidates works out for you [1].

Both look good to me. *shrug*

2. Natural Hair versus Perm.

Nothing causes women (and some men) to draw battle lines in ferocity quicker than this debate. As a man who could care less which side you fall I am tired of it. If you want to get in touch with your African roots or you want to better your health or you love creamy crack it’s your business. Why do you care about what others do with their hair? I have noticed that it is mainly women are newly natural who are often the most outspoken on the subject. I understand y’all are excited about your transition but stop trying to force it on everyone.

I will never look at a balloon the same way again.

1. Passionate Penchants.

Twitter loves to discuss sex. I enjoy a nice sex-laced conversation every now and then but the frequency in which Twitter discusses exactly what they like or don’t like in the bedroom is annoying. From salad tossing to running red lights and from tea bagging to money shots it’s not hard to tell where the lines will be drawn. The reason behind this topic being discussed with such vigor and passion are people tend to want to boast about what they do. Everyone wants to be viewed as having a high sexual prowess and that’s understandable but I’m tired of hearing about licking balloon knots (word to Phonte for the euphemism).

That concludes my comprehensive list of topics that I’m tired of constantly seeing get rehashed on twitter. Are you also bothered the frequency in which these matters are debated? Do you participate every chance you get? What topics are you tired of seeing or have you had to globally filter out of your timeline?