With NFL training camp right around the corner, it’s time to look ahead to the upcoming season. Before getting into the the predictions and actual analysis of who will do what this year, I want to take a look at the anarchy that has broken out across the country among NFL players. They say “the devil makes work with idle hands.” Apparently those hands are also pouring whiskey and fighting relatives. Let’s take a look at the biggest losers of the NFL offseason.
3. Marshawn Lynch, Seattle Seahawks –
Marshawn was arrested recently in Oakland for DUI after swerving all over the 880 highway. Lots of athletes get busted for drunk driving, so that’s not too crazy. Marshawn is the third dumbest athlete of the offseason because he just signed a contract extension with Seattle for $17 million guaranteed. Seattle, knowing that Lynch has had some legal trouble in the past, added a “conduct clause” in the contract that puts Lynch’s money at risk. So instead of getting a taxi/hired driver/designated driver/hotel room or just sitting on a bar stool counting his guaranteed $17 million, Lynch decided to take his chances and now might lose a fortune. #smh.
2. Aaron Berry, Formerly of the (sigh) Detroit Lions –
I’ve mentioned my Detroit Lions fandom in posts before. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more embarrassed to mention this in public…and that includes a 0-16 season!
This offseason, the Lions have had SEVEN arrests as they attempt to become a cross between the Bengals and Portland “Jailblazers” of the early 2000’s. Berry makes this list because he managed to get himself arrested twice in less than 30 days. As is almost customary, Berry was brought in on June 26th for drunk driving, *yawn*. He then outdid himself by pointing a gun at 3 people this weekend. Xbox achievement unlocked.
As stupid as this is, I might practice some old fashioned denial if Berry was actually good. Instead, he was part of a defense that gave up roughly 7362847 yards to Matt Flynn in the last game of last season. Flynn went from a career back up to a $30 million man thanks to Berry and the rest of the Lions.
Aaron, if you’re going to keep getting yourself arrested, try not to play so horribly. Lions management agree with me, and cut Berry on Monday.
1. Dez Bryant, Dallas Cowboys –
The worst offender of this offseason, and perhaps any offseason, is definitely Dez Bryant. He wins the award for putting paws (shout out to Lil’ Scrappy) on his own mother. I…I just, couldn’t even imagine that.
“Angela Bryant, Dez’s mother, accused her son of grabbing her by the shirt and hair, hitting her in the face with his ballcap, striking her repeatedly in the hands and wrists, and pushing her in the chest.”
Read that again. Now call your mother and just tell her you love her.
In case you couldn’t tell, I have very little to add besides calling Dez an idiot. The police recently decided to press charges, and he may be suspended by Commissioner Roger Goodell. Regardless, he will go down in the “Cut Me a Switch” Hall of Fame for people who need their — whooped.
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These are my picks for the biggest losers of the offseason. Anything I missed? Who else cost themselves heading into this season? Wasn’t Goodell’s Conduct Policy put in place specifically to stop things like this from happening?
I don't think it was as bad this year as with the lockout last year. Those boys were ransacking our streets nationwide but this has been a bad year. I think the Detroit Lions by far are messing with the church's money. Those boys aren't even all in Detroit and can't stay out of trouble, they're the new Bengals.
You forgot Justin Blackmon, that idiot. He may have cost himself a bunch of millions in guaranteed money because he was acting like a dummy. He was acting like a dummy. I'm not all that worried about Marshawn just because 1) he's a freak athlete and freak of nature, 2) If they void his contract, he'll just go sign somewhere else for the same amount of money, 3) THAT STORY IS HILARIOUS. He was swerving through traffic in a Econoline van!
You brought up the most interesting point in all of this, Goodell's conduct policy. That's the reason this stuff keeps happening. From a top to bottom of the Players Assoc. no one likes the policy so they ignore it. Then they rely on the appeals process to keep them and their money safe. While I don't think Roger has any right to punish players in the way he has in the past, he's got to get some respect. And since he doesn't players act like goons.
Look for Dez Bryant to catch a crazy suspension if the cops ignore his mom and proceed with charges. This would be his third incident. Charged, convicted or not that's when you start hearing names like Adam Pacman Jones. Not that it bothers me, Dez really needs to go somewhere and get his head screwed on straight. He's on that Vick train.
I agree about Fidel Goddell's conduct policy. But as much as I dislike it, they worked it into the CBA so the players essentially signed off on it. The thing is, this stuff keeps happening. I'd have thought it would curb this behavior more than we've seen so far. And Dez will get the book thrown at him based on the policy, you're right.
Good call on Blackmon. That dude blew a .24!!! I've always thought of that as alcohol poisoning range.
…no comment on the Lions. *wipes single tear*
I blew a .24 in a friend's breathalyzer one time, like three separate occasions in the same day.
It was St. Patrick's Day and I was out of my mind wasted, but not poisoned. You couldn't have paid me to get in a car, I probably couldn't started it, if I wanted to. Blackmon was Super Saiyan Level 4 drunk. He might get jail time. He could have killed someone being that drunk.
I've never been breathalyzed, either by cop (thank God, lol) or willingly. I want to try it just to calibrate though. See what my level of drunkenness comes out to.
I wouldn't be against Blackmon getting time, but I think it's a longshot. That stuff always tends to end up in community service. We'll see what the best lawyer in Jacksonville can work out for him.
Fidel Goodell LMAO…
It's dishes for Blackmon. He plead guilty to DUI charges. He got a suspended sentence, but pleading guilty puts him in violation of the conduct policy, which affects the contract he still hasn't signed.
I'm not commenting before 8AM anymore, i'm obviously tired as hell.
*stares at ground with 'refusing to laugh at 'xbox achievement unlocked' smile*
Probably not the best timing for a gun joke but we are talking football here so, I guess it's cool.
I was wondering, a lot of AA players come from the hood right? There's a saying about taking the hood out of a man. The NFL should induct a character redevelopment program to teach these guys how to behave in this new arena of life when they're drafted/recruited. Have them learn instead of just abiding by a policy. It might help.
Is there anything like that already?
I’m pretty sure. The NFL has A LOT of great programs that players choose to not give two fux about. They also have a 24/7 livery service which aims to stop people like Marshawn Lynch from catching cases and Donte Stallworth from killing people #neverforget.
Yeah I've heard about a card they give all players with a service that will pick you up no questions asked. Supposedly it's $90 an hour or something. Seems like a fair trade.
Actually, here's a link from 2010. The NFL offers it and most teams do as well:
http://www.nfl.com/news/story/09000d5d81acc5fa/pr…
All teams don't have that. It was supposed to be a requirement in the CBA for all teams to provide a driving service and security for athletes. For several reasons, it didn't work.
1) The players are skeptical of the ownership knowing about their nightly dealings.
2) The owners didn't want that liability for when something crazy happens and they show up to a Darren Sharper situation. RIP.
*proposes said program and dubs it Cha-ching*
but WOW @ all these options availble for them and they still drop the ball (no pun). That's one of those things you look at them and just go…..Really? smh.
I agree. I would never totally blow guaranteed money on some of the incidents these dudes have committed. Just stupid to me. Yeah, Gordell's personal player conduct may not be fair, but guess what? He is the commissioner and so just play by his rules. You have the entire offseason to wild out. Why wait until now. Another name you forgot to mention was Elvis Dumervil. Like who flashes a loaded weapon out in public on Ocean Drive in the MIA?? Hopefully charges will be dropped.
Agree about the policy, it's in the CBA so they have to play by those rules.
Elvis is an idiot. I like to believe I would curb my road rage if I was even somewhat famous. South Beach seems like the second worst place to flash a gun. I'd put the Vegas Strip #1 on that list.
*represses memory of ever saying the Patriots should’ve grabbed Dez Bryant over Devin McCourty*
I think biggest loser is Berry, as Lynch is a beast and worthy of taking a chance on and Dez is talented enough he’d still find work if the Cowboys actually cut him (doubt they will anyway). There are plenty of Dez apologists already seeing as his mother has a “history” and not famous enough to care about (see Breezy vs Rihanna). Berry is an average player and not nearly worth the headache so lord knows lord knows what he’s going to get himself into if he ends up unemployed for a while
Fellow Loins fan here. They are trying to throw away a promising upswing in the organization. Oh and I died at "Xbox achievement unlocked."
I am still not over Sam Hurd
He need to come up from being a no-name WR
Fan-Tastic
Yeah, I am not totally over that incident also….Dude was moving too much..But for what?
Saints fans are the biggest losers…their season was raped without any due process.
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