You’ll get turned down by 100% of the women you don’t approach.

Since most women are firmly against approaching men, they don’t know the terrifying joy of walking up to a complete stranger and trying to convince them you are worthy of their time. To be successful in dating, a man must be a salesman, a public speaker, and a preacher. We have a small window of time to convince the woman of our dreams that we’re not just another man trying to get in her jeans. While the final outcome is usually seamless to the woman, there are in fact 5 very distinct steps to how men approach women.

STEP 1: SPOT YOUR PREY

If we’re lucky this happens as early in the process as possible. This gives us time to observe your style and grace. How many guys do you turn down before we arrive. Were you mean while doing it? How many drinks are these guys buying you? Are you getting sloppy? Are you carrying yourself like a lady in the streets or a freak in the sheets? How are you dressed? How does your face, breasts, hair, nails, legs, feet and shoes look?

STEP 2: THE DECISION

Having answered all these questions and more we decide whether to approach or not. If we’re in a group, we might consult with our hype / wing man. His whole purpose is to convince us of the following: 1) we can successfully get your number; 2) tell us “that you ain’t that fine anyway”; 3) distract the least attractive girl in the group so she doesn’t hate on the rest of us having a good time. This is also known as “taking one for the team.” The conversation might go like this…

Guy 1: What do you think of that girl over there?
Guy 2: She’s fine.
Guy 1: She probably stuck up.
Guy 2: Only one way to find out.
Guy 1: Nah, I’ma chill.
Guy 2: So you’re going to be a punk?
Guy 1: *is forced to approach in order to prove he is not a punk*

Without a hype / wingman, you are left to hype / wingman yourself, a more difficult yet not impossible process. Usually this involves convincing yourself you’ve pulled finer or hype yourself into a confident fury, which often climaxes in a mental chorus of current ratchet popular song lyrics, like “TWO CHAINNSSSS, FOUR BRACELETS…”

See Also:  The Best Grammy Memes: Iggy Azaela Challah Bread Braid, Rihanna's Pink Prom Dress, Etc

STEP 3: THE APPROACH

There are few things more awkward on this Earth than walking across a crowded room to approach a woman. There’s no telling what will happen on the other end of that journey. You have no idea what kind of day or state of mind this strange woman is in. You might be the chalk outline on the opening credit of The First 48 simply because you caught the wrong woman on the wrong day. Conversely…read more.

What do you think fellas? Are there any other steps/stages? What are some rules or techniques you use to build up the courage to approach a woman or does it come naturally? Are 2012 women still against approaching men? WHY?!? In all honesty though, I was like 25 before I had the brass (shout-out to Bill Clinton) to randomly cold-approach a strange woman…that is, of course, within 3-feet of me first. Rules is rules.